Forced Rest

I’ve been sick. Last night I tossed and turned, but I got up and went to work anyway. The new gal quit and they are short handed. I was asked to come in early this week to help out so I feel responsible. I realized when I couldn’t breathe that I had to go to the doctor. When I saw him he said I a slight fever, my ears were red, my sinuses were clogged and I was congested. The good news is that I have that sexy Kathleen Turner voice going on. He gave me medicine and told me to go home and rest. I realized something when I got home. I don’t rest very well.

Forced rest is never fun. There were hundreds of things I could be doing around the house. I had no strength to do any of them. Tom is away teaching a class and so I had to take care of myself. I miss his tender loving care. I have to admit that I am spoiled by him. I’m not apologizing . . . I’m just saying.

As I lay here with my laptop on the bed, I decided to share some thoughts. Rest is good. Sometimes our bodies need it. When we are sick and don’t take care of ourselves our bodies rebel. Rest is sometimes necessary so that healing can take place.

Sometimes we wait too long before getting help. I decided not to do that this time. It seem like it was caught early. Isn’t that the best way . . . catch the problem early? Why do I do that? Why wait until things are so bad before I seek help. I don’t know. Sometimes I think it’s because I don’t want to bother others with my problems. Other times its pride. I’m working on the pride issue. It’s hard for me to ask for help, but I’m improving.

Forced rest is not necessarily a bad thing. I’m feeling better already.

© Nadine Z. 2008

Artwork by Scott Burdick

Sick Day

I’m tired of this cold/flu that will not go away. I was sick before our trip to Dallas and then I got better. Since yesterday I have the plague again. I came home from work early today. This head cold/flu is wearing me out.

I have to mention that I have the best husband in the world. I called him and said I was coming home early. He cancelled a meeting to stay home and take care of me. I walked in the door to a hot cup of tea. He went out to the store and got me medicine. He’s just been taking such good care of me. Thanks honey. Here’s the topper he’s not feeling well either. His cough is still lingering.

This too shall pass. The good news is it’s only the flu and with time and rest it will get better.

Hope you all are doing well.

© Nadine Z. 2008

Frozen Chosen

I can’t believe the amount of snow that’s falling down on our city. Tom and I got ready for church and gave ourselves extra time. It never entered our minds to cancel services this morning. We didn’t know who would be able to drive through the bad roads to come, but we would be there. One of those brave souls (John G.) called all of us “frozen chosen,” hence the name of this post. I just thought it was a cool title. I totally get those who didn’t come. If Tom wasn’t the pastor, I probably would have stayed at home.

The service was good. We (those who attended the conference) shared about the week we had in Dallas. I shared about some of things that impacted me the most. One thing was I found myself having a heart of compassion for other pastor’s wives. I realized how much pain there was behind their eyes. Some pretend so well that life is wonderful they fool even themselves. Some are just burned out and if you gave them a ticket out of Dodge they would take it. Along with a friend/associate pastor from our church, I was able to minister to one of these women and it was powerful. I knew that I wanted to do more of this.

The other thing was I found myself being bolder when it came speaking words of encouragement to strangers. I have in the past when I felt prompted by the Holy Spirit to speak a prophetic word. Except for our outreaches, this doesn’t usually happen that often. This past week I had three opportunities and took each one. When their eyes well up, you know that the word given was timely. I love it when God does that.

I’ve been praying that God would transform my life. I prayed that I would be more like Him and sensitive to my surroundings. I want more of Him and less of me. I’ve noticed that I’ve keep very short accounts with God. If I’ve done something wrong I instantly feel the sense to make it right.

I’ve made God too small in my eyes. I need to expand my box. I need to look beyond myself and see the needs of others. I’ve not come close to being perfect in this area, but I’m trying to be better at it.

© Nadine Z. 2008

ABC Conference

The conference was wonderful. It was so nice to meet other pastors from all over the world. There are now about twenty ABC (Association of Bridge Churches) churches. People came from England, Honduras, Canada and across the United States. There will be one opening in Hawaii. It was enjoyable to meet new people and see friends we haven’t seen in a while.

The couple from England, Dwee and Tony, were simply delightful and extremely funny. They kept us laughing the whole week. I’m afraid from now on I’ll be saying, “Oh that’s just lovely.” Amy and Robert are missioners from Honduras working to start a training center in Honduras. It was great to encourage them and spend time getting to know them better. Michael and Elisha are friends from Alabama. Elisha is delightful, smart and funny. She gave us more than a few chuckles. It was great to see old friends, like Greg and Patty, Eric and Joanie (another charming and funny gal), Scott, Recie, Jim, Amanda and Mike, and last but definitely not least, John Paul and Diane. I give a special shout out to Mike and Amanda who put the conference together. They did a great job and it was their first time.

There were different speakers; my husband was among them. Tom gave a passionate message about how Streams had a positive impact on the life of our church. He spoke encouragement and hope for the future to the other pastors. I thought he did a great job. Others spoke about the different resources Streams has to offer. John Paul’s messages were inspiring to me because it confirmed what God has been doing in my heart. I came away with a hunger for more of God’s presence in my life. Ministry times were life giving for people who have been going through hard times. It was great to see the healing that took place.

It wasn’t all business. Thursday was a day of fun. The ladies went shopping and the men went bowling. We also went to a rodeo. I had a great time. I’ve never been to a rodeo but I definitely would go back. I’m encouraged by the passion for God I’ve seen this week. It was exciting to hear about what God is doing around the world. Our days were very full and I’m tired, but it was all good.

© Nadine Z. 2008

Citywide Prayer Update: Tonight we gathered at one of the biggest churches in town and it was so encouraging. All the pastors got up kneeled and prayed for repentance for sins of the pastors. There was prayer for individual repentance. There was prayer for healing of the land. The turnout I heard is somewhere around the thousand mark. Even though I was tired, I was encouraged by how well this is progressing.

The Editing Begins

Tom had a board meeting to go this morning in Dallas. Even though I was invited, I stayed in our room to work on my book. I’ve gotten a few suggestions from the editor I’m working with and took this opportunity to get some work done. It’s going to be a long process, but I’m all in. Tom reminded me that we are paying her lots of money…let her do her job. He’s so smart and I love him for it.

When you write a book or a story, it’s highly personal. You have poured so much blood, sweat and tears into it. The time spent in the creative process is amazing. Your characters are like children to you. You have created them from scratch and know exactly how you want them to talk, walk, think and behave.

I have to say that editing is a humbling process. You have to not take it personal but approach it with an attitude of they are the professional and know what they are talking about. I know I will learn so much and be a better writer for it in the end. I truly excited to be working with her.

There is an issue of trust that is involved. How do you trust someone you have never worked with before? My editor came highly recommended. The friend who recommended her is some I trust greatly. She is also very experienced in this field of self publishing. What has happened is a transfer of trust. I trust her and she trusts the editor, therefore I trust the editor.

When someone has favor with us, then it’s easy to trust. We value their opinion and honor what they have to say. If they make a suggestion, we know they will not lead us down the wrong path.

This is how I’m approaching this whole matter from a position of trust, openness to learn and improve.

© Nadine Z. 2008

Update on the citywide prayer. Tom was so sick on Friday night with a high fever that we didn’t attend. My understanding is the church they met in had the capacity to hold 900 people, it was nearly full. There were about 800 people that attended. God is good.

Go Giants!

Tom and I are in Dallas. Believe it or not, we had a safe trip, no delays, and no luggage was lost. Tom was still very sick and slept most of the way. He is doing better, but he's not 100 percent. We met some friends, who are here for the conference in the lobby of the hotel and watched the Giant game. It wasn't an easy game to watch. They were killing me...all the back and forth. It wasn't pretty, but it was a win.

I'm very excited. The Giants are going to the Super Bowl. How cool is that? If I'm answering that question, I would say very, very cool. Go Giants!!!

If I Only Had a Brain

This has been an interesting week. I’ve battled fatigue and a head cold. I’m teaching a class this weekend at our church. I’m responsible for three units. It’s been a challenge to concentrate on my lesson plan, hence the title for this post. Tonight I was responsible for the opening lesson. I had to stop at points to cough. I could feel the love of the folks listening to me. I’m so grateful for the support of my hubby and the other teachers. I could tell they were praying. I’ve realized that the more I teach, the more I’m comfortable with it. Isn’t that with everything? Practice does make perfect or at least close to it.

Tomorrow night we will take a break from the class to participate in the city wide prayer service that I spoke about in this post. Last week over six hundred people attended. This week more is expected and we had to change the venue in order to accommodate the increase.

The class is over on Saturday evening around 10:00. When we get home I’ll have to pack for our trip to Dallas. We have an early flight and will be at a pastor’s conference all week. Tom and I have both been sick and I’m praying that we are better by the time we get on the plane.

This week will be busy and if time allows, I will blog from the road to let you all know what is happening. I hope to have time to visit some of you on the road when there are breaks. Until then have a good week.

© Nadine Z. 2008

Three Short Items

First Palm Tree Fanatic tagged me to list seven weird things about me. I’ve done this tag a couple of times before and I’m happy to say that I’m running out of weird things to share. But here it goes.

1. I collect fancy Barbie dolls. (Yes I know I’m 46 years old.)
2. I can’t swim. (I had a bad experience.)
3. I curl my toes when I sit.
4. I can watch “I Love Lucy” and can tell you what the whole episode is about within seconds.
5. I’m a big geek and like to watch nature shows.

I know I only did five, but I can’t come up with anything else I haven’t listed before.

Secondly, thank you Shaundra for the You Make Me Smile Award given for bringing happiness to the world. Now I can pass it on to anyone I want. You all know me don’t you. Grab your award because all of you who read my blog make me smile and from reading your blogs I know you have brought happiness to the whole world. Yeah for you!!!

Last, but not least…Go Giants!!! Being from NY I have to congratulate my NY Giants for beating Dallas. Nothing made me happier than that last interception. It was sweet.

© Nadine Z. 2008

The Truth of the Matter – Part VI

I realized I didn’t finished posting all the questions asked of you nice folks. This is the last installment. Everyone had such wonderful questions. Some were easy, some were fun and some were hard to answer, but I’ve enjoyed this journey. Thank you all for taking the time to ask.

Karolee asked, “Have you done anything more towards getting your book published?”

Sandy asked, “How many books do you have ready to be published?”

Diane asked, “I would love to hear about your pending publication of Prisoner of Circumstance. Are you working on your next book?”

I thought about this and I could get an agent, but that would mean finding someone willing to represent me. I could try and send it out to publishing firms. I’m afraid that it would end up on the slush pile because they don’t know me. An agent once told me that it’s too Christian for one market and too worldly for the other. If you have an agent, then publishers will give you a chance. There is another option. Tom and I have decided to go the self publishing route. This is an expensive undertaking, but we are taking baby steps. As the finances allow, we will take the next step.

I just started working with a professional editor to get it ready for publishing. I have a friend who has offered to help me with contacts for a book design and a printing company. I’m excited and afraid at the same time. There have been times self published books do so well that it catches the interest of regular publishing houses. A girl can only dream right? At this point, I just want to see it in print. Maybe no one ever buys it and I have cases of books gathering dust in my garage and I have to beg people to take a copy.

I have only one book finished ready to be published. I started working on my second book, but life has been so very busy. It’s been hard to have enough brain cells to be creative. It seems the most I can handle is blogging. It seems to keep the creative juices flowing.

I love to write. It’s my passion. I know other writers who are more articulate than I could ever hope to be, but I don’t compare myself to them. I’m just me, simple and direct. My writing style I hope will appeal to someone out there. Right now I’m content to have my book on at least one self and that’s my own.

© Nadine Z. 2008

Snow

I love the snow. I like how everything looks clean covered up in it. What I don’t like is driving in it. Over fifteen years ago Tom, the kids and I were in a bad car accident. We were driving home from West Virginia on a fact finding mission. Tom was traveling about thirty five miles an hour when suddenly our car drove over black ice and skid off the road, hit a ditch and flew twenty five feet in the air before landing on the side of the mountain. The car was totaled. Our daughter hurt her arm, but was for the most part okay. Tom had a nasty black and blue across his chest from the seatbelt, which was much better than the alternative. I hurt my back badly. It took months for me to recover. I was grateful that our family was okay.

My physical body wasn’t the only thing affected by this crash. My mind and emotions were affected. I hated to drive in the snow when it first happened. I froze and every ounce of my being was caught up in fear that the same thing would happen again. As time went on my fear and my concerns decreased. Today, I’m not a big fan of driving in the snow, but I have. When it snows the memory comes back. I’m not gripped by it as I once was, but it’s still there. Tom will often go out of his way and drive me to work when it snows. I protest and tell him I’ll be okay, but he does it anyway. Why? Because he loves me and he knows it eases my mind. Deep down inside I’m grateful. I’ve often felt silly when I get there and realize the roads were not as bad as first anticipated, but he never makes me feel silly. He doesn’t make me feel less than. He drives me because he loves me and wants me to feel safe. He says it gives us more time together. He’s very sweet.

God loves me even more than that. He doesn’t want the past to affect my present or my future. He wants me to move on from any pain or hurt. Each snow fall is different. The conditions of the road and hopefully I’m different. I’ve heard it said what you focus on becomes your reality. I don’t want my reality to be fear of driving. I don’t want my reality to be fear, period. Some might argue if God loved me it would never snow again. That’s silly isn’t it? I think He loves me enough to let me have opportunities to know that I’m healed and this situation doesn’t have a hold on me anymore. Am I there yet? In this situation, no or else Tom wouldn’t have to drive me at times. Life is a process. I know fifteen years is a long time, but I guess I’m a slow learner. I’m almost there. I’m glad God doesn’t keep account of time, but lets the process take as long as it needs.

© Nadine Z. 2008

American Gladiators

I don’t know if any of you remembered this show back in the day, but it has made its return. It premiered tonight with new sets, new gladiators and new contenders. If you have never seen the show before, I’ll explain briefly. American Gladiators pits everyday athletes against the show’s gladiators in contests of physical strength and endurance. The show is hosted by Hulk Hogan and Laila Ali.

Above is a photo of the gladiators. Big aren’t they?

Why am I blogging about this show? My son worked on the show as some of you might know. It was the first time he had television credit. I have to say I love Tivo because I was able to slow it down and freeze frame his name. Check it out below.

A closer view.
Tom and I are very proud of him. I know this will be the first of many credits. I often tease Tom that one day when we are at the movies watching something he’s worked on and his name comes up, I will point out to everyone in the theater his name and cheer. I will also point out that his father is the man trying to sneak out like he doesn't know me.

Thank you all for sharing in my mommy moment.

© Nadine Z. 2008

40 Days

My hubby as you all know is a pastor. A larger group of pastors meet on occasion, but he attends a smaller local monthly meeting. Last month there were six different churches represented in the meeting. After a time of worship, what evolved in the next fourteen minutes was a miracle. These men thought it would be a good idea to start the new year with forty days of prayer and fasting. That all six churches would meet weekly during this time period and pray as a corporate body for our city. Here’s the cool part of this story, other churches heard about it and wanted to participate. There are twenty four churches that are committed to fast for the next forty days. They were inspired by this scripture verse:

2 Chronicles 7:14 “If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”

The only agenda is to ask God for more of His manifest presence in our area.

Fasting for me is a time of giving something up that I enjoy and in its place (when I crave it) spurs me to pray. It’s a time of drawing nearer to God. Some of the people in our church are fasting various things such as; television, sugar, coffee, meats, etc. There is no wrong way to fast. It is something that is between you and God. I decided I should fast snacks. What I’ve discovered is you don’t realize how much you do something until you stop doing it. Let’s just put it this way, I pray a lot lately.

Last night was the first of six weekly prayer meetings. Different churches will host the meetings and the pastors will take turns leading them. Last night two different pastors and various members from their worship team worked together to facilitate the meeting. There were about five hundred people who showed up to pray together. The place was packed out. You can feel the excitement in the air. It was wonderful. I can only imagine this number growing.

I’m very excited and encouraged by this. Unity among God’s people is very pleasing to Him. A lot can happen in forty days. I can’t wait to see what next week brings.

© Nadine Z. 2008

2008 – A Year of New Beginnings

Happy New Year to all of you! Today begins 2008. In the classes we teach in our church on dream interpretation one of the things we have learned is that numbers having meaning. The number eight means “new beginning.”

I have to side track for a moment. In all of my married life with Tom, I’ve cooked him fabulous meals (his words not mine). I’ve cooked lots of eggs. In my attempts to make omelets I always felt like a failure. They tasted great but they looked awful. I couldn’t make a good looking omelet to save my life. I didn’t give up. I watched cooking shows and studied how the chefs made a perfect looking omelet. I wasn’t looking for perfection for myself, but looking for something that at least looked like an omelet. You would think after 26 years a person would just give up. Not me. I would tell my family, “At least it tastes good, right?”

This morning I attempted yet again to make an omelet. I beat my eggs. I put lots of butter in the pan. I seasoned the eggs, added parmesan and mozzarella cheeses. I flipped and plated. I looked at this plate and I was amazed. It looked like an omelet. Tom looked at me and said, “That’s the best looking omelet you have ever made!” It also tasted good. Victory was mine. In all the excitement I forgot to take a picture of it.

I was reminded by God that this is 2008 – a year of new beginnings. What exactly is a new beginning? It’s starting over – a clean slate. It was like all the other omelets I ever made never existed. Isn’t God good! In this simple act of making an omelet it solidified the fact that this is a new day…a new beginning…a fresh start.

I don’t know about you, but I could use one of those. I thank God for this coming year. I have no idea what lies ahead, but I place my hope in Him who loves me. I know that whatever it is, it will be new and I pray exciting.

Hebrews 11:1 (New Living Translation) states:

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.

Happy New Year

© Nadine Z. 2008