My Heart is Grieved

Thanksgiving morning one of our oldest friends lost her battle with cancer. She leaves behind a loving husband and three children. If that was the whole story, it would be break anyone’s heart, but there is more.

When I met Tom over thirty years ago, the Archers were close family friends. They had two adorable little children at the time. Then Christopher and Kelly came on the scene. They moved to West Virginia, but still stayed close.

Little Kelly had cancer and a very young age. It traveled to different parts of her body and when she was five years old she went home to be with Jesus. As sick as she was, and as young, Kelly loved Jesus and loved to pray. It was after her death that her dad Jimmy told Tom, “I don’t know much right now, but I know this; 1. God is good. 2. He loves me.” Whenever I feel sorry for myself I remember Jimmy’s words and I’m reminded that everything else starts at number three.

Christopher also fought his battle with cancer. He was a remarkable young man. Even when he lost his leg, it did not stop him from living life to the fullest. He loved the Lord. He died in father’s arms at nineteen. In his short life he touched many young people telling them about Jesus.

I thought that this family could not recover from these two losses, but their faith in God kept them together and helped them to move forward. I was amazed by their incredible faith and love for God.

When we found out that Karen had cancer, we could not believe it was happening again. Their faith still did not waiver. In her death they are leaning on God for comfort and strength. Our hearts are grieving with them. I love them and can’t fathom their pain.

Please keep Jim (her husband), KC, Jimmy and Andrew (her children), grandchildren, brothers, sisters and other loved one in prayer during this time of sorrow.

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

Happy Thanksgiving

This is the first Thanksgiving I will not be spending with at least one of my children. I will miss them today, but I'm so thankful that I will see them for Christmas.

We will be spending today with friends and I made my traditional baked ziti dish to share. It's been forever since I didn't take the lead on Thanksgiving. It feels weird not to make the turkey, green beans, corn, ham, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes with marshmallows, and pork stuffing with pine nuts. It was always a time of feasting and celebrating family and friends.

I'm grateful for so many things in my life. I have God, a loving husband, wonderful children, and good friends. So today I wish you all a blessed Thanksgiving Day.

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

Photo by Norman Rockwell

Happy Birthday Son

Today is my son’s 23rd birthday. I’m so proud of him and how he’s pursuing his dreams. I miss him terribly because he lives in California, but I look forward to seeing him at Christmas.

I’ve been thinking about the times when he was a little boy. There are a couple of stories that come to mind. I’m going share them with you. So come take this walk down memory lane with me.

When he was about three years old one of his favorite foods to eat was hamburgers. He had an interesting way of saying it. Our son would say, “Hangermer.” At dinner one night, Tom tried to teach him how to say it properly.

Tom told him to repeat after me, “Ham.”
He said, “Ham.”
Tom said, “Burg.”
He said, “Burg.”
Tom said, “Er.”
He said, “Er.”
Tom said, “Hamburger.”
He repeated, “Hamburger.”
Tom said, “Very good son.”

A little time went by and we continued to eat. Our son looked at his dad and said, “Dad. Hang – ger – mer. Hangermer.”

We just laughed. He’s so very smart.

The last story I will tell you about is when he was about five years old. I was home alone with both kids. I was walking down the stairs, when suddenly I lost my footing. I grabbed a hold of the hand rail and my arm got twisted and stuck as my body propelled forward. I thought my arm was broken. It hurt so much, but I didn’t want to panic the children. My son came running to me and he yelled out to sister, “Hurry up, we have to pray.” He placed his hand on me and his sister came and did the same. He said something that I couldn’t make out and then, “Amen!” He had such confidence. Here’s the thing. My arm went from pain that I thought I would pass out from to instantly better. About twenty minutes later it was as if nothing happened. I had no pain or discomfort at all.

There are many reasons why I love my son and so many good memories I have of him. Today I remember them fondly and say, “Happy Birthday, Son. Your father and I love you very much.”

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

Important! Please Read Carefully

Tom and I came home to find a note stuck to our door. The note had this title: Important! Please Read Carefully. Usually that’s not a good sign. The apartment owners were making us aware that there have been two break-ins recently during the day when no one was home.

Hmmmm. We live in a gated community, yet we have had break-ins. A thief will come whether you are watching or not. He will force his way into your world, uninvited. The notice also said for us to keep our doors and windows locked. It also suggested we get insurance for our personal belongings. Hmmmm. How very helpful of them, right?

I usually panic when I hear about things like this, but smarter, cooler heads prevailed – that’s right, Tom. He reminded me that what I focus on becomes my reality. I should put my trust in God and we should get renter’s insurance (which covers not only theft, but tornados, etc.). What a smart man.

There are locks on our doors and our windows. I could choose to stay at home all the time and never leave for fear that someone will enter. For me it’s the things you can’t replace that would bother me to lose. The thief doesn’t care about our memories.

I was thinking about the locks on my doors. How it’s secured and if I wanted to I could get more locks and bolts to shut out the outside world. I can build myself a little fortress and keep out the bad of this world. I decided not to do any of that. I did get renter’s insurance. I decided to leave my home in the hands of the Lord.

I was reminded of the picture of Jesus standing at the door and knocking. It’s based on the scripture from Revelation 3:20 –

“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.”

There is no lock or knob on the outside of the door. Jesus waits patiently for me to open the door and let Him in. I’m grateful He doesn’t leave. I know this about myself; I have trouble letting people in too deep. I tend to protect myself and my heart and if I’m not careful can build a brick wall around my heart. The problem with that is I’m keeping everyone out that way – even Jesus. That’s not good.

Locks have their place in my life – on my car, on my home, etc. The one thing I know for sure it doesn’t belong on my heart. I would not only leave the bad things out but also the good. So for now, I trust the Lord with my home and with my heart. It is very freeing for me.

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

GPS

When we knew we were moving to Dallas, Tom and I decided to get a global positioning system better known as a GPS. We got it on sale and it was worth what we paid for it. It’s been a handy thing to have. It talks to you. It tells you what time you should arrive and upcoming turns. I’ve named her Roxy. She sounds like a Roxy. Anyway, it took a little getting use to.

There are a plethora of highways around here and for a new comer it can be a little confusing. If you can’t get into the correct lane (because of traffic) then you could miss your exit. The other problem I had was telling the difference of whether Roxy wanted me to get on the service road or highway after making a sharp turn. You know when you get off at an exit you can either go left or right, if you’re not paying attention then you get on the wrong road. The good thing is Roxy will get you back on the right track eventually.

The other thing Roxy does is give you alternate routes if you want to try a different path. Since new roads are added all the time, you can even download updates. When you don’t have an address then you enter cross streets. When you get to where you’re going Roxy says, “You have reached your destination.”

We’ve tried to learn how to get places without it so that we don’t become dependent on Roxy. We are getting there.

What if a GPS was called a God Positioning System? How would that change things? I would be able to program what road my life should to take. I would be able to listen to His voice clearly. If I took a wrong turn, He would be able to tell me how to get home. Wouldn’t it be great to know that in 1.8 miles you have to get off this road and take another? Wouldn’t it be helpful to know that in 2 miles you will be making a right turn? Unlike Roxy, God is fully up to date on all the roads available and those that are not yet built.

I try to listen, but don’t always hear clearly. I sometimes get distracted by other voices. I’m encouraged that God is with me. He loves me and directs my path. He cares enough when I make a wrong turn because I wasn’t listening to get me turned around and back on track. If I ask Him, He will answer. If I seek Him, I will find Him. He doesn’t hide from me. He’s right where He’s always been. I’m the one who sometimes go into hiding. I sometimes think I know how to get to there and I don’t even ask Him. Sometimes I want to take an alternate route. I’m usually wrong when I take my own path. It’s seems it usually best to ask Him before I start on my journey which way I should go. It takes less time to get there.

Wouldn’t it be sweet to hear God say, “You have reached your destination.”

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

CBS Shame On You

Imagine a nice relaxing Sunday afternoon watching your football team - NY Giants - beat the crud out of the Baltimore Ravens. When suddenly in the 4th quarter with 14 minutes left they switch to another football game. That’s right! All of sudden we’re watching Houston and Denver. Sure I’m in Texas, but they should have shown that game to begin with. Seriously! What were they thinking? That is just all kinds of wrong.

Who do you even complain to? Do you call your local cable company or CBS? It made me mad. Tom and I were enjoying the game. The Giants were finally playing pretty. It was going to be a pretty win. The last several weeks they won, but it wasn’t pretty.

This game was beautiful. These are Superbowl Champions. You shouldn’t treat champions that way or their fans. Fans for years were faithful to their team, regardless how terrible they played. Finally – they are a team to contend with and 14 minutes left in the 4th quarter you get switched to another game.

CBS should be ashamed of themselves.

End of rant. Have a nice day.

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

Virtual Personal Assistant

I have a job! I’m working as a virtual personal assistant for 10 hours a week for a lady who lives in Nebraska. What is a virtual personal assistant? I’m glad you asked. She checks voice mail, email, does research and other administrative duties by email. Don’t you just love the electronic age? She’s a very busy lady and very nice. I’m looking forward to it. She’s been thinking about writing a book and had asked if I ever was a ghost writer. I haven’t but, hey, I’m willing.

I still have 30 hours left in my week if anyone out there needs a virtual personal assistant.

Side note: I should be getting a completed copy of my book in ten working days. I’m very excited. If I approve that copy, then it’s another ten working days for Amazon to build me a page on their site. Sweet. Did you notice the cover tease on the sidebar?

Until next time, be blessed.

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

Cannoli Angel

Tom and I had the pleasure of meeting some amazing interns from Streams Canada in Vancouver, BC. We instantly fell in love with them and wanted to take them home.

Over the weekend, one of the lovely young ladies came for a visit. She’s from New York and she bought cannolis. If you have never had a cannoli then you must try one. They’re a great Italian dessert. She bought a huge bag of the filling and the shells separately. (Pictured below. Aren't the mini shells cute?) The reason why she bought them separately is because the shells would soften on a long trip once it's filled. It tastes much better with a crispy shell. Usually the cannoli is bigger but these were mini cannolis and wow they tasted great.

So a big thank you to my Cannoli Angel, who knew the way to my heart is with Italian pastry.

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

It Figures

As you all know I’ve been looking for a job. It’s been a process, but I haven’t panicked about it. I have a friend here in Dallas that’s been sending me leads for jobs I could do from home.

I was very excited about one that had to do with writing. This company was seeking writers to work on articles from home. I thought to myself – sweet, a job doing something I love. They wanted references and examples of previous articles I’ve written.

Hummmm. Considering I’ve never worked as a “writer” before or had any articles published anywhere other than my blog, I got creative. I mentioned my new book that’s due to be released and linked some of my favorite posts from my blog. I conveyed an air of confidence that I was worth taking a chance on.

It worked. I got an email explaining further the type of work I would be doing to start with and was asked if I was still interested.

Apparently the type of work that was currently available (even though it represents 10% of their business) was work in the “adult entertainment” field. Considering what my husband does for a living and the fact that God would have a problem with it, I declined.

I guess if I wanted to change my name to Fifi LaRue I could go for it…no, I don’t think so. It figures that the first writing job I got offered would be questionable. I told them that even though I could write about other things that have nothing to do with God, this was at the other extreme and I would pass. They understood.

I always knew in my heart that I would really love to write full time, but I have my limits.

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

The Birds

Since we moved to Texas, we have only one car. We gave my car to my daughter because we didn’t want to leave her at school without a vehicle. It gave mom and dad peace of mind to know she had her own means of transportation.

Everyday I get up with Tom and drive him to work. It’s no big deal and I enjoy the extra time we have together. This past week every time I picked him up from work, I feel I’ve stumbled upon a Hitchcock movie – The Birds.

There were a bazillion of them for a two block stretch on both sides of the road. They line up on the phone wires and on the tops of stores. The picture above doesn’t do it justice, but if you click on the picture you'll be able to see them better. It makes me want to drive with my windows up and pray, especially when they take off as a gang and fly from one structure to another.

I was in the store and came across this Barbie doll that commemorates Tippi Hedren in the movie The Birds. Okay, Mattel, what are you thinking? Don’t get me wrong, I love Barbie. I collect the very fancy ones (snicker if you must). There is something all kinds of wrong with this doll that has a black bird sticking on her head that’s not part of a fashion statement. Why would I want a doll like that? Why would I buy that for my child? Seriously. What’s next Frankenstein’s bride or maybe Freddy Kruger?

Have a wonderful weekend and stay free from any Hitchcock movies coming to life in your neighborhood.

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

Senator McCain – A Class Act

Regardless of who you voted for today, you must admit that Senator McCain’s concession speech was filled with class and graciousness. He calmed a very disappointed crowd down. He asked us to pull together as a country and support our new president.

I was saddened that Senator Obama won. I was disappointed that my candidate didn’t. But I refuse to make the same mistake twice.

When President Clinton won, I wore black for a week and told everyone I was in mourning. I criticized everything he did. Nothing out of my mouth was good or edifying. I was wrong. I didn’t stand behind the President of my country. He was the man elected. He was the man chosen to lead us.

Romans 13:1 – "Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God."

If I prayed, what would have been the difference in Clinton’s presidency? I don’t know and will never know. Praying for him wasn’t on my radar. My actions were sinful.

1 Timothy 2:1-3 “I urge then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone – for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior."

I may not have voted for the new president, but that doesn’t matter. I will not make the same mistake again. I will pray for our country. I will pray for the new president. I will just pray. As a Christian, my life and my country is in the hands of the Lord.

My husband quoted a great scripture tonight.

Proverbs 21:1 – “The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord; he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases.”

So, Father, I pray for President elect Obama. May his heart be in Your hands. May You direct his ways. May You give him wisdom to lead our country so that we may remain both safe and free. Amen.

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

Phase 2 is Done

I'm so very excited that Phase 2 of my book is done. What does this mean? It means that the publishers have to make changes and then submit to me a copy in writing. Yeah!!! Once that phase is done and I give the FINAL okay, then it's Amazon's turn.

Amazon will then work on setting up an Amazon page for me. That way you can type in my name or book title in order to buy a copy. It comes complete with a "look inside" feature and synopsis. This part should take about two weeks.

Once I know what the release date is, then the fun begins. I will be calling on all my friends out there to help me advertise this book. I will be having a giveaway (two on my blog and one on Facebook). More details about the giveaway to follow.

Until then, I sing, "Hallelujah! Hallelujah!" I'm in the home stretch and I can't wait. I want to thank all of you who have been so encouraging and supportive throughout this process. I appreciate all your kind words. Thank you.

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

Meeting Diane IRL

I’ve read many a blog where blog friends got to meet. I would think to myself, “How cool is that?” The funny thing that happens when you read blogs is that you start to get know someone. You comment on their blogs and have dialogue. You start to care about what’s going on their lives and their family. Blog friends are special, but what happens when you meet one in real life (IRL)?

I had the extreme pleasure of meeting one yesterday, Diane from Partners in Prayer for our Prodigals. It’s been about two years since we first “met” in cyberspace. It was (as Diane put it) meeting an “old” friend for the first time. We met at the Gaylord Texan in Grapevine, Texas. It is a beautiful resort hotel.

We talked and shared life. It was great and felt so natural. She was as lovely a person as she appeared to be on her blog. Her heart for her family, God and His people was very apparent in our conversation. She started a new business venture and I think it’s wonderful that she’ll able to pursue her dreams. She’s a very intelligent lady that speaks with grace and humility.

I’m so glad we met for lunch. If you ever get a chance to meet a blog friend in person, do it. I hope that she is the first of many that I get to meet.

Here are some pictures from the hotel. It’s quite lovely as you can tell from the shot taken from the outside.

Here’s a picture of Diane in front of a longhorn.

Look at the pretty palm trees. (Tina, I took this just for you.)

I loved this train village.

We were entertained by this magician. He was very good.

© Nadine Zawacki 2008