Just Being Me

57

2012-01-16T20:08:00.001-05:00

In my lifetime I’ve probably gained and lost the total weight of the New York Giants. I couldn’t believe all the love I received when I recently posted I’ve lost 57 pounds. I’m a little over a third of the way to my goal. In case you were wondering that’s a whopping 150 pounds total. I know that sounds like a lot of weight because it is. It’s not that I want to be “super skinny” or even a single digit size because I won’t be. I would be at a size that is healthy for my height, age and bone structure.

Writing about weight loss is a very personal and difficult thing. I’ve lost weight before. I’ve written about it before, but never in the “middle” of the process. My journey started last June when I went to the doctor’s. He wanted to put me on medicine for diabetes. I didn’t want that. He said lose weight or else he’ll have to give me medication. He suggested Atkins or South Beach. He said it was the best for high blood sugar.

I’m not here to advocate a diet program. There are so many ways to lose weight out there. A person has to do what is in their heart to do and what works for them. For me it has worked and I need to keep in mind - eat less, eat better and exercise more. I followed my doctor’s advice and I’ve lost 57 pounds without exercising.

I tried about a month ago to exercise. I put on a dance exercise DVD. I know it’s important for my body to warm up and cool down so I started with those. I didn’t expect to not make it through the warm up. What I needed was oxygen and a paramedic.

I’m happy to report that I tried that same DVD again and got through the warm up, 95% of the exercise and the cool down with no need for paramedics.

This has not been an easy journey but it’s a rewarding one. My knees feel better and I can walk easier than before.

Even though people have told me I have great discipline, I really don’t. What I have is determination. What I have is a goal I want to reach. What I have is 50 years of life and I’m just too tired to keep going up and down the scale anymore. What I want to do is stay healthy for my future grandchildren.

I’m pleased with my progress so far. I’m grateful for a husband who loves me no matter what that scale reads. He’s told me I’m beautiful and that he loves me everyday of our married life regardless of my dress size. He just wants me to be happy.

Hopefully in the future I can report continued progress towards my goal.

© Nadine Zawacki 2012

I Wore Heels for This

2011-12-16T10:45:00.000-05:00

I’ve been actively looking for a job. It hasn’t been easy because about a million other people are looking for that same job. I’ve signed up with Temp Agencies, I’ve posted my resume on various work sites, I’ve faxed and emailed more resumes than I care to mention.

I recently went on a job interview. They told me on the phone it was customer service, mostly answering phones. Easy. I can do that in my sleep. I wore my “interview dress” and heels. I looked my professional best. With resume in hand, I headed out for the interview. I felt confident and hopeful.

When I got there the receptionist was on the phone. She smiled at me and gave me a form to fill out. As I sat there I noticed the lack of office furniture. The carpets were dirty. The receptionist was dressed a bit . . . how should I put it? . . . less professional than expected.

When I finally met with the interviewer – his office had less furniture than the reception area and was just as dirty. He proceeded to tell me how impressed he was with my resume. He informed me the reception position was just filled by the lovely young lady that greeted me, but what he had was “sales positions” opened. If I was interested I can work for him on a “commission” basis only. They would train me (while I didn’t get paid), then I can work and get a nice percentage of the sales I make (in other words – work for free while I try to sell people things they don’t really need).

Yeah, I wore heels for that. I know there is a job out there even though it’s alluding me, but it won’t be for long. Have another interview coming up. I hope it’s at least heels worthy.

© Nadine Zawacki 2011

Happy Birthday Son

2011-11-24T09:57:00.001-05:00

Today my son turns 26 years old. He is a hard working young man who is focused and determined. I’m very proud of him. He works in the Art Department on different projects in Los Angeles. It’s the nature of the business he’s in to go from job to job. He’s currently working on the TV show Parks & Recreation.

I’m looking forward to seeing him and his sister for Christmas. Today being Thanksgiving, I give thanks for my son. He’s a good man who reminds me of his Dad. Like his sister, he is a mix of both of us but there so much of his Dad in him.

I love you son. I’m very proud to be your mom and I’m grateful for having you in my life. I wish I could be with him today to cook his favorite meal and make a birthday cake for him, but I will make up for when I see him next month. Happy Birthday Son – I hope your day is filled with great blessings and much joy.

© Nadine Zawacki 2011

Et tu, Brute?

2011-11-10T12:35:00.000-05:00

I’ve been watching a mini series about Rome and Julius Caesar. Whenever I watch anything that is based on history, I get on the computer and “google it.” I want to be reminded of the actual events.

How did Brutus get the best of Caesar? He pretended to be his friend. Caesar forgave him and others who opposed him. He gave them a second chance. Some might say a chance to stay close and betray him. One might say it might have been better for Caesar to hang his enemies instead of extending forgiveness because in the end he was killed by them.

Caesar’s mistake wasn’t in forgiving but in trusting his enemies. Now I’m not trying to say that Julius Caesar was a good man or anything like that. I’m not making a point about his character or his actions. I’m making an observation about forgiveness or at least what I got out of the story.

It’s not easy for me to forgive. If I forgive someone then am I saying what they did to me was right? Do I have to feel like forgiveness? No, it’s not a requirement. I forget that sometimes it’s a process for me. I sometimes make the mistake that if I forgive I need to trust those I forgive to “prove” forgiveness took place.

Trust is earned. I need to remember that forgiveness was given to me freely from God. I need to forgive just as freely. I’ve been on the other end also, when I’ve asked for forgiveness and it wasn’t given to me. There is nothing I could do to make that person forgive me. My heart was saddened that I hurt them in such a way that forgiveness couldn’t be given. I pray that one day they will find it in their heart to extend forgiveness. I don’t want to do that to anyone else.

Every so often I like to check my forgiveness meter. Is there anyone I have not forgiven for their hurt towards me? Some days that meter is empty and other days not so much. I’m a work in progress and I’m working on it.

© Nadine Zawacki 2011

Painting done by Vincenzo Camuccini

Happy Birthday Lisa

2011-10-21T12:30:00.002-04:00

Today my baby girl turns 28 years old. I couldn't be more proud of who she is as a grown woman. She's in her final year of grad school and starting her internship at a clinic. She's beautiful and smart. That's what I always tell her. I wouldn't say it if it weren't true.

If I was living nearby I would be preparing her favorite meal - cream cheese chicken and baking her favorite C*A*K*E (since she was a little kid we would spell it out and it just stuck). It's times like these I wish I could say, "Beam me up Scotty."

Even though I can't be with her today, I'm comforted in the fact that she's surrounded by good friends who will make her feel special and help her celebrate her day.

Lisa we love you. We're sorry we can't be with you but in our hearts you are firmly placed today. You're on our minds all day long. Have an fabulous day. You're an awesome young lady.

© Nadine Zawacki 2011

Tale of Two Bracelet

2011-10-18T15:05:00.000-04:00

A couple of months ago, Tom and I went on a trip to Virginia. Good friends were speaking at conference and it was a good way for us to see them. We also stayed with one of our dear friends who lives in Virginia for a couple of days afterwards.

Bracelet One

We had the opportunity to pray for a pastor and his family that came to this country from Jordan. He was asked to leave because he was preaching the word of God. They have three children and they had to leave two of them behind along with all their belongings. The church that was hosting the conference was helping them find a place to live, a job, etc. When I prayed for the wife, I felt led to pray for hope. As I prayed, I knew God wanted me to give her my hope bracelet. For those of you who know me, understand how much that bracelet meant to me. I’ve worn a hope bracelet everyday since finding out that Tom had cancer. It’s a reminder for me that God is in control of Tom’s cancer. Hope for the future. Hope that he will be healed. The doctors told us that recurrence is not a matter of “if” but “when” with his type of cancer. So our future is really in God’s hands.

It wasn’t easy to give that bracelet up, but I knew it was important for me to give her a reminder of hope.

Bracelet Two

My friend Ginny makes lovely bracelets out of guitar wire. It’s unique. As a matter of fact she made one for my mom. (pictured below my mom and mine). We were having lunch one day with the worship leader and his wife. She admired the bracelet. The fact it was made out of guitar wire was especially appealing for a musician. When she said she liked it, immediately I heard a small voice inside of me say, “Give it to her.” I ignored it since I had already given away a bracelet the day before. Then she asked if she could see it up close. As soon as I took it off I knew I would never wear it again. It was a pleasure to give it away because she was so happy to receive it.

Not only did my friend make me another pretty bracelet but Tom replaced mine with 4 others (he couldn’t decide which one to buy) and my friend we stayed with in Virginia also gave me a bracelet.

At the time that I gave away my bracelets I wasn’t thinking about getting a replacement, but how awesome to not only get a replacement but I got more than double what I gave away.

© Nadine Zawacki 2011

Waiting to Exhale

2011-10-11T14:00:00.001-04:00

It's that time of year again - Tom's PET Scan. I hate this test. I hate cancer. I hate that we or anyone else has to deal with it. Tom had the test on last Friday and tomorrow we find out the results.

Most of the time we focus on life and living it. We forge ahead and enjoy each other. I try not to let cancer rob me of any time or any happiness with Tom. It's always there in the background - like a ticking time bomb. Whenever I read a story of a celebrity that just died from the same form of cancer Tom has I wonder - why them? How is the spouse coping? How are the kids?

Cancer sucks. It's that simple. It kills and destroys. It robs good people of time and people they love. I know people who have lost spouses, children, parents, siblings, family and friends to cancer.

The only thing you can do is not let cancer suck life out of you. You enjoy the good days, endure the bad but keep moving forward. It's time like these - waiting to see if your loved one is still in remission that's hard.

You sit in the doctor's office. You look at him and try to read his face. You hold your breath and brace yourself for bad news while hoping with all your heart that the news is good. Your heart rises to your throat and you wait. You wait to exhale.

I'm praying for good news tomorrow. I love Tom with my whole heart. I need him. I want to grow old with him. I'm tired of holding it in - my thoughts, my fears. So I share here today a small portion of what goes on in my head.

God is good. God does love me. Everything else begins at number 3. So I'm waiting for good news tomorrow. I'm waiting to exhale.

© Nadine Zawacki 2011

Well Hello Fifty

2011-09-25T08:00:00.000-04:00

I turn fifty today. At first I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about it. It sounds old doesn’t it? I mean, it’s half a century. My gray hairs remind me that I’m getting older, but then I just color them.

What do I have to show for being fifty years old? What have I done with my life?

I’ve written a book. I can cook. I’m witty. But those are all external things – abilities, you might say. I could go on, but enough about me.

What really counts in life?

I’m married over thirty years to the love of my life. A man who loves, honors and respects me. He’s my best friend. He says I look like I’m only thirty-eight, which just endears him to me. If that wasn’t enough, I have two beautiful children who love me. I’m extremely proud of the young adults they have become.

I have many people in my life (family and friends) that care about me.

That’s what matters most – love. I’m grateful that for these past fifty years I’ve had love in my life. Yes, there is always sorrow and pain, but love seems to wash over those things when you look back on life.

Thank you Lord, for all the love that’s been in my life yesterday, today and tomorrow.

© Nadine Zawacki 2011

A Delightful Visit

2011-09-10T20:47:00.002-04:00

Recently we went to Washington for a visit. Good friends (Sherry & Dennis) used their sky miles to fly us over as a gift for our friends, Duane & Dawn. I was never a gift before, but it was great. I believe I received more than they did from the visit.

Where do I start? . . . as awesome as it was to visit with dear friends, the best part of the trip was seeing our daughter. We rented a car and drove over to the other side of Washington to pick her up. (Pictured above is the car my darling hubby saw in the parking lot and couldn’t resist renting instead of the car he ordered. Granted it’s a sweet looking ride but not very comfortable.)

We got to see her apartment and visit her campus. She lives in a beautiful place. I was excited that I got to do one of my favorite things – cook – for her and her friends. It did a mother’s heart good to meet such wonderful, beautiful and intelligent women that surround my girl. I’ve adopted them all. It was fun to gather around a lovely kitchen (thanks Tilly), cook, laugh and tell stories. These young women work hard and it’s nice that they have each other to share life with. I’ve always been impressed by my daughter but even more so by the company she keeps.

My birthday is in a couple of weeks and our friends gave me a wonderful gift of a massage & facial at a fancy salon. I truly felt special. I changed into a nice robe and slippers and was told how young my skin is. What could be better than that? Thanks Duane, Dawn, Dennis & Sherry.

I also had the opportunity to stop by my old job and visit with the staff. It was great to see all of them. It was a surprise for the doctor who couldn’t have been more gracious.

When we landed back in New York there was a light rain that quickly turned into a massive downpour. Thank you Erica for braving the elements to pick us up during the storm.

It was a delightful visit and I’m glad we had the opportunity to go back to Washington.

Now it’s back to reality.

© Nadine Zawacki 2011

Cooking Shows

2011-07-09T08:00:00.001-04:00

Two of my favorite channels are; The Food Network and The Cooking Channel. It’s nonstop cooking shows. I’m inspired by new ideas and I attempt recipes I’ve never done before.

Some of the chefs appear very friendly and welcoming. They explain clearly what they are making and it’s easy to follow their recipes. It inspired me to do my own cooking show - at least that’s what I like to call it. I’m having loads of fun creating dishes for the camera. Having a great staff helps. There’s one young lady filming/editing the episodes and another fills the role of an assistant. Don’t I sound fancy with a crew and all? They work for food, so it’s in my budget. They make filming fun.

Last night I was watching a biography of one the celebrity chefs that usually acts as a judge on cooking competition shows. One thing I observed about these competition shows is the judges aren’t very nice. They spend a majority of the time with a frown on their faces. What are they trying to accomplish with those frowns? Is that supposed to be their serious face? They come off mean and abrasive. When they do smile, you see their bright personalities shinning through. When they have constructive criticism and deliver it with a smile the constants seem to receive it better.

I’ve said all of that to make this point – this particular chef/judge was being profiled. They showed her softer side with her staff at one of her restaurants. She seemed so nice. She smiled and she was absolutely delightful. When she wasn’t judging she was sweet and approachable.

Hmmmm . . .

When I’m not being judgmental I’m sweet and approachable. Maybe that’s why the Bible says in Matthew 7:1 “Judge not, that you be not judged.” I know that when I’m misjudged it hurts me especially when I’m not asked directly about what’s on my heart or what I’m thinking. I try very hard not to judge. It’s not always easy. Matthew 7:1 helps me to remember.

Now I realize on a cooking competition judges are necessary. They are there to do a job and pick a winner. It would be nice if they did it with a smile on their face (especially when they try to fool the competitors in thinking they did badly).

As for me, when I find I’m judging – I repent and ask God to forgive me. I pray for that person and pray for God’s blessing in their lives.

I think I’ll leave judging to the experts.

© Nadine Zawacki 2011

Rearview Mirror

2011-06-29T13:09:00.001-04:00

You ever notice how things look different in your rearview mirror? When I’m driving sometimes looking in the rearview mirror doesn’t help because I still have to turn my head to see what’s going on in my “blind spot.”

Looking backwards can help at times. I can see what is behind me and if something is sneaking up to surprise me. My blind spot is what can cause me to crash and burn if I’m not careful.

Lately I’ve found that I’m in a place where looking in the rearview mirror is not helpful at all. I’m at a place where it’s time to look ahead. It’s time to see what is before me without the distractions of what’s behind. The blind spot has caught me by surprise but I’ve been amazed at how much I’ve seen coming. Here’s the thing – whether I saw it coming or it snuck up on me it still hurt.

A smart woman would take the lessons from the past and apply it to the future. Dwelling in the past doesn’t help me. It only causes more hurt. Learning from it and moving ahead is what’s helpful.

Today is a new day. For the time being it’s best not to look back. I don’t want to miss what God has for me by the distractions of the past. The road ahead is wide and promising. The road ahead is good. I’m grateful God has my back and He covers my “blind side.”

© Nadine Zawacki 2011

Expiration Date

2011-06-23T16:05:00.002-04:00

I recently cleaned out the cabinets in my kitchen. I have limited cabinet space and wanted to organize my food. It came to my attention that some of the food in the cabinets had expired. That’s understandable right? You pack new groceries and some of the older ones get pushed to the back.

The funny part was the “actual” expiration date on some of the cans. There was a can that expired in 1997. That was not a typo. I meant to write 1997. This means I moved that can from West Virginia to Washington State to Texas and to New York. Fourteen years seems to be enough time to be carrying something around that could kill you. What was I thinking? I really don’t know. It was something that slipped through the cracks. I’m just glad I never fed it to my family.

Before you judge me, it’s easy to forget about or overlook things in your closet that you don’t use often. It’s quite possible to push things aside and let them fall through the cracks. Granted I did pack it up several times and took it with me, but I did have help with that. I wasn’t always the one packing up the kitchen. I had friends who helped.

Okay, so I’m blame shifting a bit. Isn’t that the easiest thing to do? – blame someone else. It’s better than taking responsibility for it.

The way my mind works, it made me wonder what else was hidden in my closet that had expired? What am I carrying around with me that could possibly kill me? Am I carrying around old hurts and wounds? What judgments or resentments? What were the things of life I needed to take responsibility for?

This experience gave me an opportunity to check in with God and ask Him to clean out my closets of those things that I don’t need to carry around anymore. The things that could harm me or hinder my walk with Him. It doesn’t matter how it got buried. What matters is that it causes no further harm.

Price of a can of beans - $.79.
Price of a can of beans that is 14 years old - $.29.
Price of not eating a 14 year old can of beans – PRICELESS.

© Nadine Zawacki 2011

Carnival Cruise

2011-06-11T16:19:00.006-04:00

Tom and I went on a cruise for our 30th anniversary. The best part of the trip was spending time with Tom. It was fun being away from reality with the man I love. A couple of pics of us on the boat.
There were good and bad things about the ship. Let’s start with the good. There was a restaurant on board called, “The Emerald Room.” The atmosphere was lovely and elegant. It was one the fanciest meals I’ve ever eaten. We went there on our actual anniversary (the 7th) to have a romantic meal together. The chef sent out a little treat (and I mean little). Here are a couple of pictures: salmon and parmesan cheese purée and tomato soup. Aren’t they cute? They taste good too.
One of my favorite soups is lobster bisque. I’ll order it whenever it is on the menu. The presentation was amazing. This picture shows the garlic circular crouton with cream and puff pastry on top.
The waiter then pours the soup in the bowl. Believe me it tasted even better than it looks.
I had the porterhouse steak and Tom had the fillet mignon. Yum. Tender and tasty.

Check out this chocolate sampler dessert. It was amazing. In each of the little glasses was a different delicious piece of chocolate heaven; warm chocolate cake with ice cream, banana cream with sherbet, tiramisu and chocolate fudge with fresh berries and cream.
Simple sherbet served elegantly.
The ship had a big screen on deck. They played concerts and movies. The picture quality was amazing - day or night.
A quiet "adults only" spot on the ship that was very relaxing.
Our cruise went to St. John's in Canada. Here's a picture from the ship.
The center of the ship had elevators that had large glass windows.
Towel animals always awaited us at night. My favorite was the monkey.
One night we sat and listened to a band playing Latin music. They were really good. There was a group of women (youngest @ 30’s and oldest being @ 70’s) dancing. They found of couple of young men to dance with but were eyeing the crowd for fresh meat. Let’s just say they were feeling no pain. To be safe Tom was avoiding eyeball contact. One woman was dancing in front of us and bent over and asked me if I heard what she said. I replied no. “I need a man.” was her reply. Hmmm. I said, “Sorry, can’t help you.” She moved on. I had Tom’s back. What’s a wife for if not to protect her man from drunken women.

What I didn’t care for believe it or not was the food. Except for the Emerald Room everything else was okay. I was surprised that smoking was permitted in so many areas of the ship. There were times we wanted to listen to music at the different lounges but the smoke hurt my eyes and made Tom cough. It limited the parts of the ship we could enjoy. It wasn’t easy to navigate getting around the ship. Sometimes you had to go up before going down and through the smoked filled casino.

All in all a great time was had because I was with Tom. It was fun to be with my honey and celebrate being married for 30 years.

© Nadine Zawacki 2011

Time of My Life

2011-06-09T17:59:00.001-04:00

On June 7th Tom and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary. I can’t believe 30 years have passed since I first said, “I do.” I appreciate the man he has become. He’s kind, considerate, loving, and faithful. I’m grateful he’s mine.

For weeks, no – months Tom tried to figure out something nice for us to do for our anniversary. Everyday he would search online to see if there were any deals. It was so important for him to make me feel special. The funny thing is I feel special whenever I’m around him. He constantly tells me how much he loves me – how else could I feel?

We went on a cruise that he booked on June 1st that set sailed on June 5th. The best part for me was being with Tom. We danced on our anniversary as Tom sang to me. I believe dancing to “I Had the Time of My Life” was so appropriate for us. The past 30 years has been anything but boring. It’s been quite the adventure.

Thank you honey for the time of my life and for loving me for over 30 years. My only prayer is that we get at least another 30 years.

More on the cruise in my next post.

© Nadine Zawacki 2011

Don’t You Find That Funny?

2011-03-29T15:08:00.001-04:00

Humor is in the eye of the beholder. What one person finds funny, another – not so much.

What makes me laugh?

Comedies, comedy shows, comics, etc. That is normal, but . . .

I laugh when people fall. I know that just sounds terrible, but I can’t help it. I’m afraid that I passed that on to my daughter. Could it be the expression of surprise on the person’s face? Yes that’s a part of it, but it’s also the actual fall. If I could control myself long enough I would give out scores on a scale of one to ten.

My darling Tom has had a couple that when I retell it, I can’t control myself. Don’t think ill of me. He didn’t get hurt.

This is one of these times:

Sometimes when you watch someone fall it’s almost like watching it in slow motion. We were living in West Virginia. Our kitchen had French doors on the side that led to a side porch. Tom went outside one day and there was ice on the porch. He was wearing his slippers (not a good choice for the ice). My daughter and I were in the kitchen looking at him just in time to see him slip. First one leg seemed to be at a 90 degree angle from his body and then the other leg followed suit. He landed fast and got up even faster. He looked around to see if anyone was looking and unfortunately our next door neighbor saw. He asked Tom if he was okay. My daughter bolted to her room and I could hear her laughing. Tom came in and with has much self control I could muster; I asked if he was okay. It lasted for about ten seconds before laughter came out.

I know it’s not nice to laugh at someone when they fall, but I also know I’m not the only one out there who does. Why else would America’s Funniest Home Videos be popular or the show Wipeout.

Tom loves me even when I can’t control myself. I’m grateful.

What makes you laugh?

© Nadine Zawacki 2011

My New Cooking Blog

2011-03-19T16:57:00.003-04:00

I’ve started a new blog, A Pinch of This & A Dash of That. Friends often ask me for recipes but I don’t really cook by a set recipe. It’s hard to share dishes and I love to share food. What I often do is invite them over and I teach them. That way they can see how much I put in or how long it takes for the food to be done. Once they have made it twice it becomes their dish. They can claim all the praise.

Friends encouraged me to do cooking videos. I didn’t really want to. I know that’s hard to believe especially since I pretend to have a cooking show when I’m by myself. Believe it or not, I was a little nervous.

Cooking for me is creative. I love to watch cooking shows and then attempt what I see by trial and error. Everyone has different taste buds. Some people like salt and others don’t. Some people like cheddar cheese and others mozzarella.

It doesn’t matter what you like, you can always substitute an ingredient you don’t like for one you do. I usually like to make a recipe first the way it was intended, then I can have fun and change things up a bit.

I love cooking outside the box. I enjoy seeing what’s in my cabinets, putting it together and seeing if my vision and the actual taste match up.

If you’re a food lover, I hope you enjoy my new blog. Comments are encouraged and questions welcomed.

© Nadine Zawacki 2011

Focus

2011-03-03T15:08:00.001-05:00

The more you try to focus on a task the more it feels like you can’t get it done. Sometimes focus is difficult. Today I was trying to write a blog post and I had a difficult time with focusing on what I wanted to say.

In the middle of it, Tom called and asked if I could pick him up. No problem. He was only a couple blocks away. It was really cold outside and I didn’t want him to walk in the cold. So I picked him up and on the way back home, I mentioned how I was having a hard time trying to focus on my blog post. Do you want to know what my wonderful, loving hubby said?

“Can you focus on making me some lunch? Can you focus on that?”

He said it with a smile on his face. I knew he was teasing, but the situation brought to mind another incident that happened a week ago. Tom had an early morning doctor’s appointment. It was with a new doctor so I went with him to fill out all the forms. I usually make Tom breakfast every morning, but that day there wasn’t anytime. While filling out the form, I asked Tom a question. His response:

“I’m sorry; I didn’t hear you over the rumbling of my stomach.”

I just had to laugh again. When I first met Tom he was such a serious person. Very focused. Very determined. He has lightened up over the years and I guess it’s my own fault. I have helped him lighten up and he helped me be more focused. We make each other laugh. Laughing is good medicine. I’m still the funnier one though, in case you were wondering.

I wrote a different blog post (after I made him a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches) and it was done in about ten minutes. Thanks babe for helping focus.

© Nadine Zawacki 2011

In My Humble Opinion

2011-02-23T16:00:00.004-05:00

There has been some good, bad and ugly on television lately. Everyone has opinions about what they like to watch. Here’s my humble opinion:

The Good

American Idol is among “the good” on television. The new judges are fabulous. They have bought new energy back to the show. It seems the talent this year is better than ever. The judges are still tough but honest. They are having fun which makes for us having fun.

The Bad

Chicago Code is among “the bad.” When the commercials for your show turn out to be better than the actual show . . . then important questions must be asked. Am I paying the ad guy enough money? Would better writers save the show? I don’t think so. I watched it for about 15 minutes and I’ll never get back those minutes.

The Ugly

Commercials lately have been among “the ugly.” I’m not sure which phone company it was but there is a commercial where a girl is up in a tree outside her boyfriend’s house. She’s talking about their date by checking on his Twitter, Facebook, etc. Serious stalking issues and totally yucky. Which leads me to mention “Groupon.” Wow. . . they paid lots of money to be seen during the Superbowl and they were totally inappropriate.

My question to you is this – what shows or commercials would you put in “the good,” “the bad,” and “the ugly?”

© Nadine Zawacki 2011

A Simple Love Story

2011-02-11T00:00:00.000-05:00

Tom and I started dating thirty three years ago today. We celebrate it every year.. We grew accustomed to celebrating that day for three years before we got married so it feels natural to continue. It’s nice having “two” anniversaries a year instead of just “one.”

When you’re with the same person that long you speak a special language. You can hear the words before they are spoken. You look in each other’s eyes and time stand still. A simple touch on the hand and your whole body feels it.

Today, we celebrate our simple love story.

I love you more and more each day, Tom. I will remain –

Forever Yours,
Nadine

© Nadine Zawacki 2011

Snow, Snow Go Away

2011-01-27T13:52:00.001-05:00

Since Christmas, New York has been hit with one snow storm after another. I’m sick of it. Our kids had trouble getting out of New York with delays and cancellations because the snow was not cleaned up in a timely fashion.

Shame, shame New York. Seriously, where do we live? Isn’t this the “big city?” Nothing stops us from what we want to do, except apparently snow. I was embarrassed by the way snow removal had been handled after that first storm. I remember larger storms and better clean up years past. All of a sudden a city that never sleeps was asleep on the job. Brooklyn was the worst.

We went to see Tom’s dad in Brooklyn and city buses were stuck in mid turn. I’ve never seen that before. Major streets were not plowed. They received lots of criticism and they tried to do better when the second storm hit.

Now it appears we are getting a storm or two a week. The old has not passed away before the new has come.

Seriously, I’m ready to plant a church in Maui. Who’s coming with me?

© Nadine Zawacki 2011

Humor Me

2011-01-22T11:41:00.001-05:00

“Humor me” is a term used to describe what you do for someone when you may not be really interested in what they are saying or doing. My husband is fantastic at it. He humors me all the time. It’s okay that he does this because I know he is doing it and he knows that I know he is doing it.

A little humoring goes a long way. It is a skilled that is acquired. When we were first married Tom didn’t possess this skill. We would rent two movies – one for him (that we both would watch) and one for me (that I would watch by myself). Now he will watch a chick flick with me just because he loves me.

Tom doesn’t care for dancing shows. I love them. I love “Dancing with the Stars” and “So You Think You Can Dance.” There are times he humors me and listens or watch a dance number that I think is great. He does it with a smile on his face.

Here’s something funny about humoring someone – sometimes you end up really interested in what you are humoring them about. I never really liked action movies or sports shows until I started humoring Tom. Now I really like them.

We have so much in common but our differences are what make us interesting. I love my hubby. He’s my best friend. I know he loves me because he says it and shows it every day.

© Nadine Zawacki 2011

Shirley – I Love You

2011-01-13T14:53:00.003-05:00

I love my husband. He gave me a gift for Christmas that keeps on giving – a Kitchen Aid. I love my Kitchen Aid so much that I named her Shirley. Why name her? Well, she is more like a partner in the kitchen rather than a mere appliance. She whips and mixes like nothing I’ve ever used before. I wanted one for 20 years so the least I could do is name her.

The very first thing I made was whipped cream. It was easy, creamy, light – everything whipped cream should be. Below is a picture of fresh fruit (blackberries and raspberries) and whipped cream. The only thing missing is shaved chocolate on top.
Then Shirley and I made homemade pizza dough. It was easy and delicious. My pepperoni bread never looked or tasted so good.
I love playing around with Shirley. We make a good team. I really don’t know how I managed without her all these years. Everyone who loves to cook needs to have a Shirley in their life. It makes cooking easy and fun. From mashed potatoes to bread and everything in between will be done with ease.

Thanks Tom for Shirley. I love you. Thank you for spoiling me. And Shirley – well it’s obvious how I feel about you.

© Nadine Zawacki 2011

Would the Voice in My Head Shut Up

2010-11-07T23:21:00.000-05:00

Last week Tom started his next round of Rituxon treatments. When cancer came back for a second time a year and half ago, the doctor wanted to do the regular round of chemotherapy followed up with four rounds of maintenance Rituxon treatments spread out over two years.

It was time again for his annual PET scan test. My heart and certain areas of my mind understand the need for this test – to see if cancer has progressed. There are areas of my brain that fail me. My physical body absorbs all that my mind tries to put aside. I can’t sleep, my stomach hurts and other unpleasant side effects.

We sat in the examine room anxious for the results. I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest. I thought my head would explode if it took just one more minute for the doctor to enter the room. My eyes were trying to keep the water works from flowing. When the doctor finally entered, I put on a smile on my face and waited for the longest three seconds of my life. Everything was fine. The test results were good.

So why do I this to myself every time? I believe when I try to ignore the worry or the concern that’s when my physical body rebels. It’s an ugly cycle that won’t go away. I pray. I asked God for peace.

I love my husband. I need him. I don’t want to lose him. I want the voices in my head to just shut the heck up!

© Nadine Zawacki 2010

Netflix

2010-10-28T11:25:00.002-04:00

Our kids told us about Netflix. I’ve seen the commercials and know it’s only $9.00 a month, blah, blah, blah. I just wasn’t interested, but because our kids enjoyed it so much, we decided to give it a try. To make it easier you can try it for a month for free.

For your $9.00 you have unlimited access to movies and television shows online. You can order one DVD at a time to view at home if it’s not available for instant access. The DVDs are delivered to your mailbox and you return it for free by dropping it in the mailbox when you are done. There are no late fees or trips to the store. Why didn’t I do this sooner?

You’re probably asking yourself why is she promoting Netflix? Is she getting a kick back? I love Netflix and unfortunately I don’t get anything for this blog post. When you find something you like, you want to tell your friends about it.

Lately I’ve had trouble sleeping and I’ve enjoyed watching old television shows I’ve never seen before (and are now cancelled) for the first time. No commercials. No anticipation for the next season. I have discovered some gems: Veronica Mars, Roswell, Jack and Bobby. I’m sorry that these shows didn’t get more of chance the first time around.

When you add a show online you can watch it online or on your television if you have a device such as a Roku box. Makes watching even easier.

So if you are a lover of movies or television shows, try Netflix. You get a lot for your $9.00 a month.

Do you have Netflix? Do you enjoy it?

© Nadine Zawacki 2010

Who Invented This Torture Device?

2010-10-20T17:21:00.003-04:00

**** This post is of an adult nature, so heed this warning if you are under 18 years old or a man. ****

It was that time again. What time do you ask? It was that time to have that nasty, painful, pinching, squeezing test – a mammogram. As a woman I know the importance of having this test done, but it doesn’t make me look forward to it.

I love being a woman, but I hate this test. This year I was called back to have my left breast rechecked. Apparently there was some calcification that the radiologist wanted to get a closer view. It hurt. It was uncomfortable. I stood there blocking out what was going on.

What I thought about was who invented this torture device? As you may have guess, it was a MAN! Albert Salomon is credited with being the inventor of breast radiology. I think if you invent something you should try it out yourself first. I’m just saying.

I would like to challenge anyone – especially women – to invent a better way to check for cancer. Preferably one that doesn’t involve putting your breast in a vice and having the daylights squeezed out of it. Seriously, anyone? Come on, we live in a very technical age where we can do just about anything with our phones and computers. Do I have to wait until cars can fly?

There has to be a better way.

This is breast cancer awareness month, so ladies do get tested even if this is not a pleasant experience it is a necessary one.

© Nadine Zawacki 2010

The Old Bait and Switch

2010-10-18T11:11:00.004-04:00

The other night Tom and headed to Queens for what we thought was an evening of worship with a wonderful recording artist. I’m not going to mention names to protect the innocent as well as the guilty.

The church advertised a concert with this artist. We were excited. It took us an hour to get there but it was worth the drive . . . or so we thought. It started right on time – we appreciated that, but the church’s worship team began to sing. They were good and I thought to myself – “The opening act.” That was fine. They sang two songs and then the artist came out. She was wonderful. She sang for about 20 minutes when the “old bait and switch” happened.

The pastor of the church interrupted because he felt he had something important to share. Okay. That’s cool, but he opened with this line, “I know we can all listen to the “artist” all night long, but I feel . . .” Let me stop you right there Pastor. Yep, I could listen to her sing all night, in fact that was why I came. I didn’t come to hear you speak. It wasn’t what he said was bad, it was that he spoke for about 20 minutes then proceeded to do ministry time and he called up the “worship team” instead of this well known artist to sing while he was ministering to the people.

I am all for ministry time and for people getting healed. Don’t get me wrong. I love to pray for people. This was advertised as a concert and not a conference. At a conference you expect those things to happen. A concert is a concert. We had been there now a total of an hour and half and I had enough. It was time to leave.

Granted no money exchanged hands – so it wasn’t like they “sold” me goods but it still felt like the old bait and switch. It’s not the first time this has happened. I think if you advertise something whether you charge money upfront or you ask for donations you should give the people what they came there for.

It got me to thinking about whether I do that? Do I advertise something and deliver something else. Do I invite people into my home for dinner and just give them dessert? Do I invite people to church and build it up in a way that they expect more than what they received? I hope not. I don’t want to be the type of person that advertise one thing and present another. I try to be honest with myself and who I am. What you see is what you get. I’m not perfect and I never claimed to be, but do I present myself in way that makes people think I am? Hmmm. Food for thought.

© Nadine Zawacki 2010

And The Winner Is . . .

2010-10-15T16:06:00.002-04:00

Thank you all of you who participated in The Reluctant Entertainer giveaway. The winner is Danni. I will be contacting you for your address.

I've enjoyed reading the book and I hope that Danni enjoys it as well. For those of you who didn't win, you can still order a book by clicking here.

Congratulations Danni and thank you Sandy Coughlin for allowing me to host this giveaway.

The Reluctant Entertainer

2010-10-06T11:26:00.001-04:00

I’ve meet many people through blogging. I love my blog friends. They are wonderful people who share their lives and passions in blogland. I’ve had the privilege of meeting some of them in person and talking to them on the phone.

One of these ladies is Sandy Coughlin. She has a web page called Reluctant Entertainer. Sandy recently released her book, The Reluctant Entertainer (every woman’s guide to simple and gracious hospitality).

The book is marvelous. There are stories, entertaining tips and recipes. She makes what might seem complicated into simple helpful and insightful tips. Any woman who may feel like if they can’t be perfect why entertain – this book is for you.

Some of the chapter titles include: Real Entertaining for Real People, Overcoming the Pitfalls of Perfectionism, Simplifying Entertaining, The Heart of Hospitality: Conversation.

The book is well done and has many photos of food, family and friends. I love entertaining and I wouldn’t consider myself a reluctant entertainer. I loved reading this book. The recipes are easy to follow, have variation suggestions to try, and look very yummy. I’m excited to try some and add to my repertoire.

Whether you are a seasoned entertainer or beginner, this book has something for everyone.

Sandy’s publisher is kind enough to do a giveaway on my blog. All you have to do to enter is leave a comment. The giveaway ends on October 14th. If you blog about it, I’ll enter your name twice, just leave me a comment letting me you have done so.

If you don’t win a free copy, you can order this book by clicking here. If you enjoy entertaining or would love to start it’s a great go-to book.

© Nadine Zawacki 2010

Burning Man - Wrap Up

2010-10-02T16:45:00.006-04:00

The experience of Burning Man was amazing for me, but it did have it’s difficulties. Tom and I knew it was probably the last time we would go. It was physically demanding on us. I’ve had problems with my knees and spent the whole week with my knees swollen and in pain. I didn’t let it get to me. Everyone was kind and I did lots of things sitting down.

While we were there I found out that my mom broke her hip. It was two days after the fact. Connection to the internet was a bit rough. She had an operation while I was in the middle of nowhere. There was nothing I could do for her, but she was constantly on my mind. After I had a good cry on Tom’s shoulder, I decided there was only one thing I could do – leave her in God’s hand. I was powerless but not hopeless. What helped was going on the offensive and doing what I was there to do. Being engaged in encounters helped me to focus on others rather than myself. My mom is recovering, but it’s a slow road because of her Alzheimer’s. She keeps forgetting where she is and why she’s there.

One of the ladies on the team was helping her brother do a photo project called, “Why Do You Do What You Do?” It was fun to be part of this project.

Tom’s answer.

My answer.
Tom and I got to participate in a documentary on long term marriage. His name was Vision Air and he wanted to explore long term successful marriages. He was in the camp next door and there to interview couples on camera. A part of the documentary had to do with Burning Man and if it had an effect on long term marriages. He had interviewed some of the people from our camp and they told them about Tom and me. On the last day we filmed for about half an hour. He asked us questions about marriage and what we thought made for a successful marriage. We signed releases and gave him our information. If he uses our footage we will be part of his film named “Glue.”

Burning Man was an incredible experience. It was good even though at times it was hard. It moved me and changed me. I loved it and I’m grateful to the team for their kindness and their love. (The entire team is pictured above.)

Thank you for joining me on my journey.

© Nadine Zawacki 2010

Burning Man - Part VII

2010-09-27T15:38:00.008-04:00

This was Tom’s third time going to Burning Man. In the past I was unable to go with him because of work. I always felt like I sent a part of me with him when he went. When he came home he would tell me stories about being there. I felt like I was there with him because my heart was with him.

When we got there one of the first questions Tom asked me was, “Is it what you imagined?” It was exactly as I imagined it to be. I felt like I was there before. I looked around and it looked familiar and felt right. It was amazing.

It’s not all fun and games on the playa. There is the fact that as team we agreed not to shower. When you have 40 members and only two RV’s either some shower or none at all. Body wipes are very helpful.

The other thing was the port-o-potties. They didn’t bother me. Mind you port-o-potties are gross, but you can wrap your mind around anything for only a week. There should be an unspoken rule when using port-o-potties - cover your poop. It appeared that there many who were proud of their creations. It doesn’t take much to throw extra paper in there to cover it up. I’m just sayin’.

The team worked hard during the day and at night after dinner, we got to relax and spend time with one another. It was great to get to know new people and spend time with folks we don’t get to see often. We laughed and then laughed some more. We told each other stories about ourselves and it was great. Some of the team members would go for a ride on the shopping cart.

My favorite part of the week was when James bought me an ice cream cone. That’s right – on Thursday, I had ice cream in the desert. It was glorious. I heard the angels sing. Thanks James, I love you. I want to thank Dr. Seuss for letting James know how much I wanted ice cream.

Here are some art work that was on display. My favorite is the Dancing Lady (pictured above and below).
The Human Ant Farm.

Art work at night.

Random pieces I enjoyed.

Burning Man - Part VI

2010-09-23T14:46:00.002-04:00

Once our camp is set up the best part of Burning Man began – encounters. There are many theme camps at Burning Man. Our camp is called Spirit Dream Interpretation and Café.

In the Coffee Dome we offer free mochas, espressos and lattes. It’s run by a man named, Ron and his wife Cookie. Outside of the Encounter Tent we give away free water. Inside we offer dream interpretations (someone tells us their dream and we offer an interpretation), life readings (we ask Creator for an encouraging and uplifting word for the person), spiritual cleansings (we ask Creator’s light to come and remove the darkness), etc.

You might wonder why it’s all free. At Burning Man there is a gifting culture that fits perfectly own philosophy of gifting. Whenever we do these types of outreaches, we never charge money for it. Freely we are given and freely we give. We also don’t use religious language. Some people come to Burning Man for a spiritual experience and so using non-religious language fits better. An example would be we use the word Creator instead of God or Creator’s Light instead of the Holy Spirit.

Watching someone’s life change or their life encouraged made it all worth it – the heat, the port-o-potties, the dust, etc. Some people come there and they haven’t been told positive things about themselves. They are changed when we say the things that reveal who they truly are. When burdens are lifted and their spirit is refreshed – it changed them. Some people come back with their friends and others come back every year.

I have many stories about these wonderful encounters, but it is a private thing that happened between us and I want to respect the privacy of those we ministered to. The team members come from all over the United States and one gal came from Scotland. Their various churches made gifts for us to give out to the Burners we have encounters with. It’s a way for them to remember their encounter. We gave out hundreds of necklaces and bracelets during the week.

I can tell you about an encounter I had when I came out of the port-o-potty. It appeared the hand sanitizer was empty and I forgot mine in the RV. A young lady asked if it was empty and when I replied that it was she said she thought she might have some. She shared hers with me. I was wearing a bracelet that looked like jewels to me. I took it off and said, “I would like to give you something. This bracelet reminds me of jewels. When you look at it I want it to be a reminder to you that you are a treasure to the Creator.” It was a quick word I heard when I looked at my bracelet. She was so touched and gave me a big hug. The smile on her face was priceless.

Stay tuned for more stories and pictures from the playa.

© Nadine Zawacki 2010

The picture above is Dr. Phil and Tom during an encounter.

Francine Rivers - Her Daughter’s Dream

2010-09-21T07:00:00.001-04:00

I interrupt my series on Burning Man to bring you this Francine Rivers blog tour event. The first book in this series, Her Mother’s Hope was excellent. I’m looking forward to reading the second book. Francine’s writing is easy to read and hard to put down.

Book Description

In the dramatic conclusion to the New York Times best seller Her Mother’s Hope, Francine Rivers delivers a rich and deeply moving story about the silent sorrows that can tear a family apart and the grace and forgiveness that can heal even the deepest wounds.

Growing up isn’t easy for little Carolyn Arundel. With her mother, Hildemara, quarantined to her room with tuberculosis, Carolyn forms a special bond with her oma Marta, who moves in to care for the household. But as tensions between Hildie and Marta escalate, Carolyn believes she is to blame. When Hildie returns to work and Marta leaves, Carolyn and her brother grow up as latchkey kids in a world gripped by the fear of the Cold War.

College offers Carolyn the chance to find herself, but a family tragedy shatters her newfound independence. Rather than return home, she cuts all ties and disappears into the heady counterculture of San Francisco. When she reemerges two years later, more lost than ever, she reluctantly turns to her family to help rebuild a life for her and her own daughter, May Flower Dawn.
Just like Carolyn, May Flower Dawn develops a closer bond with her grandmother, Hildie, than with her mother, causing yet another rift between generations. But as Dawn struggles to avoid the mistakes of those who went before her, she vows that somehow she will be a bridge between the women in her family rather than the wall that separates them forever.

Spanning from the 1950s to present day, Her Daughter’s Dream is the emotional final chapter of an unforgettable family saga about the sacrifices every mother makes for her daughter—and the very nature of unconditional love.

Questions for the author:

Writing a novel is not for the faint of heart. What was the most difficult part of writing this family saga? What came the most naturally to you?

The most difficult part of writing any novel is getting out of my own way. I have to get rid of preconceived notions about themes and characters and plot. The first draft of this novel came in at over 1000 pages and was too biographical. I wanted the story to shift back and forth from present to past, trying to show what happened to create the rifts and valleys between Hildemara, Carolyn and May Flower Dawn. I was too cautious, too afraid to harm to my grandmother and mother’s memory.

A wonderful editor wrote me an insightful letter in which she listed what she wanted to know about each the characters. Her letter got my creative juices flowing. She helped me look at the story in a new way. I set the first manuscript aside and started over. I found it better to move from one generation to the next in a linear story. This time the characters followed my grandmother and mother’s timeline, but took on a life of their own. They became unique individuals rather than the shadow of real people.

After readers finish this series what do you want them to remember? What questions and feelings do you want it to provoke on a spiritual and emotional level?
I hope and pray readers who have had difficult relationships with their mothers or daughters will let go of the pain and anger and allow God to work in their lives. God can work all things together for good for those who trust and love Him. Following Jesus’ example changes the way we see people. It changes the way we relate to one another. Even when the chasm is too deep to cross, we can decide to forgive. Some people wear grievances like a dirty coat. With God’s strength, we can strip it off and be free. When people finish reading Her Daughter’s Dream, I hope they will want to extend God’s grace and forgiveness. I hope they will tear down their walls and use their life experiences to begin building a bridge.

For a chance at receiving a free copy of the book join the Virtual Book Tour on Facebook. They are giving away THREE copies of the book: Click HERE and ONE copy on the Christian Speaker Services blog - Click HERE .

A complimentary copy of this book was provided to me as a blog tour host by Tyndale House Publishers in exchange for posting this interview on my blog. Please visit Christian Speaker Services at www.ChristianSpeakerServices.com for more information about blog tour management services.

© Nadine Zawacki 2010

Burning Man - Part V

2010-09-20T14:52:00.005-04:00

Once the initial tents were put up, the only thing left to do on Monday was decorate. By the afternoon the Encounter Tent was open for business. (More on that in the next post.)

The Encounter Tent

Bracelets and Necklaces we use to gift the Burners are lined against wall to help with the decor.

The Coffee Dome

Chairs line up around the inside of the Coffee Dome. Pillows and blankets in the middle so people can gather.
Drums are also available for people to play.
Open for business.
Monday was a massive rain storm. It didn’t rain for long, but what was left was this double rainbow. It was beautiful.
The rain also left behind “clay.”
Look at my shoes. I’m glad I wore my old shoes.
The next day Bear took advantage of the rain caught on the roof of the shelter.

© Nadine Zawacki 2010

Burning Man - Part IV

2010-09-18T19:56:00.006-04:00

It takes a lot of preparation to take 40 people into the desert for a week. Part of the reason the team meets up in Carson City is to get everything ready. I volunteered to help with the kitchen staff. The couple who was in charge of three meals a day for our team (Watering Eyes and Amphora) did an awesome job getting things ready beforehand and cooking while in the desert.

We stored the cold food in coolers. But some things had to be prepared before going. For example, brownies were made, bacon was cooked, and vegetables were cleaned and packed. I was impressed how organized they were. Not only is there food prep, but the tents have to be checked, cleaned and packed.

With the trailer filled with food, tents, chairs, barbeques, etc., we started our two hour trek from Carson City to Black Rock City (BRC). There is a long road to enter BRC, with these signs that line along the road. (Pictured below)

At the next check point your tickets are checked and then you proceed to the “Welcoming Station.” Greeters welcome you with big hugs and by saying “Welcome home.” If you are a first timer they make you roll around in the dust and ring a bell. (Dr. Phil below at the Welcoming Station.)

Welcoming Station
Dr. Phil rolling around.
Dr. Phil ringing the bell.
You are probably wondering if Momma Bear rolled around in the dirt. The answer to that would be no. It’s not that I’m not a good sport. I have really bad knees. They were swollen and I can’t lie on the ground. It’s too hard to get up. So Momma Bear lied through her teeth and said I was there before. Don’t judge me until you walked a mile with my knees.

The playa is set up with roads that have names and time. Our location was 4:30 and Detroit. The team worked very hard to set up the coffee dome, encounter tent, area where we cook and eat, and the personal tents for the team to sleep in. Tom and I were blessed to sleep in one of the RV’s.

Enjoy the following pictures of the set up.

The RV's.
Encounter Tent being set up.
Overhead shelter for our cooking area and our meals.Coffee dome frame being put in place.

© Nadine Zawacki 2010

Burning Man – Part III

2010-09-16T14:18:00.005-04:00

When you drive 44 straight hours, stopping only for gas, food and potty breaks, you realize how tired and dirty you are when you arrive at your designation. So what did I do for all those hours? For the first six hours I braided my hair (pictured above with my hat and shades). I did that for many reasons, but mainly I thought it was the easiest way for my hair to be without it being shampooed for the week we were on the playa.

Part of the Burning Man experience is creativity. People are very creative with what they wear. They color their hair and sometimes their bodies. Our team learned that it’s better not to stick out like a sore thumb when on the playa. So we have fun being creative.

We all have playa names (mine is Momma Bear and Tom is Godfather). Some of the men wear kilts or skirts (pictured below).
I colored Tom's goatee for him as well as his nails. I must say that was a first for me and I got to paint the nails of three other guys. I think I might open up a salon.
One day I had a mask and someone loaned me angel wings.
Here are some of our lovely ladies.
There is much work that goes into preparing for Burning Man. The team leaders work year around to set up for the week we spend in the desert. They make sure that supplies are ordered (food, water, etc). We arrive a few days before setting out for the playa as a team. They prep the tents (individual and encounter tents), prep the food and we participate in a protocol ceremony with our Native American friends. We ask permission to enter their land and receive a blessing from them to do so. We share communion and exchange gifts.

Until the next installment here are a few photos from the protocol ceremony.

Willow and Robb prepare to present our gifts from the team.
Our friends lead us in song.
Godfather and Momma Bear being gifted by our friend Dan.
We share communion together.© Nadine Zawacki 2010

Burning Man - Part II

2010-09-14T13:33:00.005-04:00

Getting ready for Burning Man involves lots of prep work. You have to gather supplies (flash lights, hand sanitizer, sleeping bags, etc.). Our journey was to start on a Wednesday and since I would be gone for two weeks there were lots of things to do. Imagine what went through my mind when Tom said, “Hey Babe, do you think we could be ready to leave a day early?” Hmmm. Don’t panic. “Sure, honey no problem.” With Tom’s help we got everything done a day early and set out on our adventure.

Part of the Burning Man experience is “art cars.” People modify and build these cars to drive around in the desert. As mentioned in the last post Horizon built a giant shopping cart (pictured above). For those inquiring minds, he took a 1980 Chevy C 10 truck, cut the body completely off, shortened the frame to 12 ft. Installed a 1976 power glide transmission, kept the original straight 6 engine and ran all new JEGs parts. The basket was built with steel square tubes from 2" to 1", welded all with a MIG gun outside using argon gas mix, painted with real aluminum foil. He installed an 1/8 diamond aluminum tread plate for the floor, installed a stainless steel 12 ft. steering rod, upgraded springs and shocks, then added 16" alloy low profile tires.

Getting the shopping cart to Black Rock City would take over 44 hours of straight driving. When you’re pulling a giant shopping cart on a trailer you get many looks of awe and wonder from people. Suddenly people slow down in the lane next to you in order to get a good picture. People come up to you when you stop and ask such questions as, “What is that thing? Is that a shopping cart? What does it do?”

A couple of my favorites “We’re going to Costco. Where we come from everyone has one of these.”

One young gal out in the middle of night with a young man wanted to take a picture of the cart with Horizon. She asked (with the cutest little southern accent) “Mr. Inventor Man, can I take a picture of you with that thing. My boyfriend won’t believe me if I tell him about it.” Turning towards the young man she’s with she continued, “That’s not my boyfriend.” Hmmm . . . interesting.

The guys took turns driving and sleeping. They were awesome. It’s not easy driving a van pulling a 2,500 lbs cart. On the trailer Horizon had a generator and various tools incase there were any problems with the cart in the middle of the desert. We found out how much of a “Mr. Inventor Man” Horizon was on the way home when the van’s alternator was failing. He started his generator, ran an extension cord through the back window of the van to the front seat to a battery charger, and the wires went out the window and were attached to the battery itself. We were in the middle of the salt flats in Utah and about 30 miles from a garage. We spent the night and after the garage fixed the van we were on our way.

Additional photos of the cart.

© Nadine Zawacki 2010

Burning Man

2010-09-12T17:02:00.004-04:00

For the last two weeks I’ve been on an adventure with Tom. Tom has gone to Burning Man in the past few years twice. Each time my heart wanted to go with him, but I was unable to because of work. This year I was honored to be part of the outreach team (made up of 40 people from the US and Scotland) that went to Burning Man.

What is Burning Man? Here’s a brief description from their website:

People make the journey to the Black Rock Desert for one week out of the year to be part of an experimental community, which challenges its members to express themselves and rely on themselves to a degree that is not normally encountered in one's day-to-day life. There are no rules about how one must behave or express oneself at this event (save the rules that serve to protect the health, safety, and experience of the community at large); rather, it is up to each participant to decide how they will contribute and what they will give to this community. The event takes place on an ancient lakebed, known as the playa. By the time the event is completed and the volunteers leave, sometimes nearly a month after the event has ended, there will be no trace of the city that was, for a short time, the most populous town in the entire county.
Everyone on the playa has “playa” names. It’s part of the experience. Tom is Godfather and I am Momma Bear. So when I talk about the team I will refer to them by their “playa names.”

There are many creative people that come to Burning Man. Some build art installations and others build “art cars” that are driven around on the playa.

About six months ago one of the team members (Horizon) started building this giant shopping cart that you can drive and carry people on the playa. He and his team of helpers did an amazing job.

Horizon lives in Ohio. He needed help driving it from Ohio to Nevada where Burning Man takes place in the middle of the desert in a place called Black Rock City. So Tom and I (even though I didn’t drive) and another man (Dr. Phil) drove straight through, only stopping for gas.

My next post will talk about our adventure to Carson City, where the team meets to prepare before heading to Black Rock City.

I hope you join me as I share my experience through words and pictures.

© Nadine Zawacki 2010

A Fresh Look

2010-08-02T14:14:00.002-04:00

I’ve had the same look to my blog for a couple of years now and I wanted something a little different but not completely. I wanted to keep my header. That wasn’t possible so . . .

My wonderful hubby helped with the new header. He did such a great job. I love the way it looks. He kept what I liked about the header but made it look fresher. Thank you so much honey.

I hope you guys enjoy the new look.

I leave you with this little joke Uncle Al sent to my hubby. I'm not sure where it's from so if you heard of it, I'd love to give credit to the author.

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says...

"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are........)

© Nadine Zawacki 2010

A Hatnappers Tale

2010-07-31T18:57:00.004-04:00

I know that you will find this hard to believe but there’s a hatnapper holding Tom’s Giant’s hat captive. I received another call from the hatnapper today demanding payment or else the leather hat swims with the fishes in his pool. Cruel isn’t? What makes this story even more disturbing is I know who is torturing the hat. He is a family member. His demands are steep . . . an entire dollar. How can a brother be so cruel? Growing up with him, I should have seen it coming.

My brother, who is ten years older, loved practical jokes. When I was younger he made our basement into a mini house of horrors and charged me and my friends a nickel to scare us. The crazy thing was that we paid him, but then again I was only seven.

If you want to read about what he did to my braids then click here.

When Tom and I were dating, Tom worked with him. Tom had the habit of falling asleep in the truck on long rides. My brother hated that. They had a customer who was located in Huntington. That was at least an hour or so away without traffic. Tom fell asleep on the way and my brother took oily, left-over pizza paper (I know gross right. They didn’t clean out the truck from their lunch the day before.) and placed it where the family jewels are. Then he lit it. That’s right you read correctly. He lit it. There was lots of smoke and my brother had to open a window and look out to see where he was going because of the smoke. He then yelled, “Fire!” which woke Tom up. No damage done, but Tom never did fall asleep in the car again. Sometimes he wakes up though yelling, “Put it out! Put it out! – only kidding.

I would have to say as he gotten older, he has mellowed some. Now he’s just a hatnapper. I’ve already forgiven him, but I’m still not paying the ransom.

I love you Frenchie. You always make me smile.

© Nadine Zawacki 2010

Broken Flip Flops

2010-07-12T16:24:00.001-04:00

I was running around doing errands when suddenly one of my flip flops broke. Lucky for me I was in Wally World. Sure I could have just bought another pair, but these were my favorite pair of flip flops.

Did you ever try to walk with a broken flip flop? The only way to do it is to drag your foot and have your toes grab on to the two straps that are left. I dragged my foot until I found the aisle with the safety pins and my flop was saved. I guess I could have taken my flop off but have you seen the floors at Wally World?

It got me to thinking. A flip flop has three straps and it is impossible to walk with them if one of the straps is broken. A comfortable pair of flip flops is priceless. You can walk and walk and your feet feel free and cool. I hate wearing shoes on my feet. I like being bare foot the best and flip flops are the closest thing to that for me.

While I was struggling to walk with my broken flip flops, I thought what if God represented the flip flop? The three straps could be the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. When one is missing from my life how could I walk? I guess I would drag myself along and maybe use a “safety” until I could get it back in working order. So what’s my safety? It seems it differs from time to time. Sometimes it’s prayer. Sometimes it’s sharing life with a friend. Sometimes it’s worship. Life is much easier when I have my God flip flops on and none of the straps are broken. I walk better. I’m not dragging my foot around. I’m really comfortable.

© Nadine Zawacki 2010

My College Grad

2010-06-17T17:19:00.003-04:00

Here’s a little background information on our daughter. After high school she went on a mission trip for six months with YWAM (Youth With A Mission). She spent three months in Perth, Australia and three in Cambodia and Viet Nam. We were very proud of her. When she came back she wasn’t sure what she wanted to do, so she took some classes at the local college until she found her passion. I’m proud how she actively pursued choices until she came upon what she wanted to do with the rest of her life – psychology.

She went to Eastern Washington University and graduated Summa Cum Laude last week. We are very proud. We flew to Spokane, Washington just in time for an Awards Convocation. She received the highest academic honor her college bestows – the Frances B. Huston Medallion. A professor nominates a student who shows excellence in both academic and extracurricular activities. This year there were about 2,300 graduating students and only 20 received this award. Every professor we met told us what a great student she was and what a pleasure it was to have her in their class.

We had the joy of spending time with friends back in our old neck of the woods. Tom preached at our former church. It was fun to see so many friendly faces. The current pastors are dear friends and they housed not only Tom and I but both our kids.

The best part of the trip was seeing our daughter and our son, who flew from LA to see his sister graduate. The worst part was saying goodbye to them.

As far as my girl is concerned – Tom and I are so proud of what she has accomplished. We know she will do great in grad school this fall. (Did I mention she was accepted to three grad schools?)

We love you baby girl. Way to go!!

Here are some pictures from the trip. This is the whole family on Awards Night.
Our kids on Awards Night.
EWU
Graduation Day
© Nadine Zawacki 2010

Maybe We Should Have Done This On Our 5th Anniversary?

2010-06-07T21:26:00.006-04:00

Today Tom and I celebrated our 29th wedding anniversary. My wonderful husband suggested we go to Montauk Point Lighthouse and have a picnic. How romantic is that?

It was an absolutely beautiful day. The weather was perfect. The Lighthouse has a museum that displayed interesting facts about the first Lighthouse commissioned by President George Washington in New York. Below are some pictures of the museum.
The Lighthouse @ 1796The Lighthouse @ 1860
The Lighthouse @ 1945 until present

Previous light.The Lighthouse itself has 137 steps to the top. Below are pictures of these stairs.
I didn’t let my bad knees deter me from getting to the top. I took one step at a time and rested when I could. After a while my pocketbook felt like it weighed 100 pounds. My very sweet, handsome husband could tell I was struggling and carried my pocketbook for me all the way to the top. He’s such a stud.

While eating our picnic lunch, I commented to Tom, “Maybe we should have done this on our 5th anniversary when we were young and had healthy legs.” We had a good laugh.

Enjoy the pictures. It was a great day. Thank you handsome for planning this wonderful day.

The view from the top of the lighthouse.
© Nadine Zawacki 2010

Taking Chance

2010-06-01T15:52:00.003-04:00

On Memorial Day, Tom and I watched the movie, “Taking Chance.” I’m glad we did. I highly recommend this movie to everyone.

The movie is based on the true life journey of Lt. Col. Mike Strobl as he volunteered to escort the body of Pfc. Chance Phelps home. I was moved to tears by the honor and respect shown to our fallen military heroes. I had no idea all that is involved in this process. So many scenes had little dialogue, but none was needed.

Thank you to all of you who sacrifice so much for freedom – the soldiers and their families.

This HBO movie was well written, well acted and simply well done.

© Nadine Zawacki 2010

Hat tip to Dad for suggesting we watch this movie.

Goodbye to LOST

2010-05-24T13:45:00.002-04:00

If you haven’t watched the series finale of LOST, then you may not want to read the rest of this post. It will contain spoilers.

LOST has to be one my favorite shows ever. It was well written, well acted and quite entertaining. It kept people talking about theories of what the island was about and who exactly were the original inhabitants. Theories about characters and storylines were all over the internet and around water coolers.

I have to admit, I didn’t watch LOST when it was first on. Our daughter watched it and fell in love with the show. Tom and I felt we didn’t have time in our lives to watch “another show.” But my clever girl waited until the summer and LOST was showing re-runs of the first season. So we watched and from the first time Jack’s eye opened to the end of the first episode we were hooked.

I hate to say farewell, but I have to hand it to the producers for going out on top. I haven’t seen this much excitement for a show since the last episode of MASH. I realized I just aged myself, but it’s okay.

The big question remains – were you satisfied with its conclusion? When Jack saw his dad and realized he was dead and that all his friends were dead, I was at first confused and almost felt let down. As I continued to watch and ponder the ending, I realized how brilliant these writers were and what a perfect ending for characters I have grown to love over the past six years.

I was so excited to see couples unite – Hurley and Libby, Sayid and Shannon, Charlie and Claire, Jin and Sun. My favorite; Sawyer and Juliet.

I’m not sure I understand all that I watched last night, but I do feel satisfied. It would not be LOST if it didn't leave you with more questions about what happened. I will be watching that last episode again and again. In fact, Tom and I are going to start with the first season.

The ending shot of Jack’s eye closing was perfect. It ended as it began with a shot of Jack’s eye. Thank you LOST for entertaining me for the last six years. You will be missed, but not forgotten. I know you will be talked about for years to come.

Okay LOST fans, what did you think about the finale? Who was your favorite character? Let me know what’s on your mind.

© Nadine Zawacki 2010

Streams New Hampshire Interns Visit

2010-05-19T14:08:00.004-04:00

This past weekend we had the pleasure of hosting a group of wonderful young people. The organization we belong to has two internship programs that train and equip young people to minister – teach, do outreaches, interpret dreams, etc. One is based in New Hampshire and the other in Canada. When we lived in Washington State we got to know the interns based in Vancouver, BC. New Hampshire is about a six hour drive from NY, so were able to have the interns from NH come for the weekend.

It was a great visit!!!

The bonus of meeting ten new young people was seeing two who were familiar to us from our former church in Washington. I absolutely fell in love with this group of young people. I would adopt any and all of them.

Thursday evening we shared a meal with them and then Tom spoke to them. Tom and I also enjoyed telling the story of how we met.

On Friday, they went to the city to see Times Square and Central Park among other sites. Unfortunately they hit our famous NYC traffic on the way back and it took three hours to return to Long Island.

Friday evening they ministered to the people at the church. They interpreted dreams and gave encouraging words. The feedback was all good. They did a great job.

Saturday we rented a thirty yard dumpster to do some house cleaning at the church. They were a tremendous help in filling that dumpster to overflowing. (Check the picture below). They worked with our people from the church and didn’t hesitate to do anything they were asked to help with.
On Sunday, they did the whole service from worship to the message. They were great. If you’re interested in hearing it, you can find it on our church’s website.

Thank you Streams NH School of Ministry Interns for coming. We miss you guys already.

© Nadine Zawacki 2010

Tips for a Healthy Marriage

2010-04-25T19:13:00.004-04:00

Today I had the privilege of teaching with Tom. He’s been teaching on relationships on Sundays. Since he was going to speak about marriage, he asked me to do it with him. I had fun working with Tom. Thank you honey for sharing your pulpit.

If you want to check it out just go to our church website HERE. Click on SERMON. It’s titled Relationships 3 – Tips for a Healthy Marriage.

© Nadine Zawacki 2010

A Friend’s Passing

2010-04-21T10:53:00.003-04:00

During the next couple of days, Tom and I will be saying good-bye to another friend who has died of cancer. Tom will be officiating the memorial and funeral services. I’ve known Linda over thirty years. I was the maid of honor at her wedding. When we left New York over sixteen years ago, we lost touch. Since we’ve been back, we’ve seen her and knew the type of cancer she had was very advanced. She was improving and the hope was she would get better. She lost her fight and died on Monday.

When I heard that she had passed away, I thought that I would cry or feel some deep emotional sadness. I was sad to hear that she died. I was sad for her sons who won’t have their mother around with them. I had to ask myself a very tough question – why wasn’t I more grieved for me? I’m not heartless, but I felt that way.

It came down to this . . . cancer took the life of someone I knew AGAIN. Someone who was only in their fifties. If I allow myself to feel then I would have to face the possible loss in my future. There it was. Emotions I knew where in there, but didn’t want to unleash because of the dept of my sorrow.

In my heart, I hold on to the fact that God is big. I hold on to promises of full healing for Tom. I take one day at a time and love every opportunity Tom and I have to share in our lives. I adore him. He adores me. Nothing can change that. We enjoy the good days, endure the bad, but most importantly keep moving forward.

If she would have died from anything else what would I be feeling? So I put aside cancer. I remember my friend and I mourn her loss. I cry because her life was cut short. Rest in peace my friend. I know that you are with our Father in heaven. I love you.

© Nadine Zawacki 2010

Her Mother’s Hope Blog Tour

2010-04-16T00:00:00.002-04:00

Welcome to the Blog Tour for Francine River’s new book, Her Mother’s Hope. I’ve just started reading it and the story is very intriguing. My post today is longer than most that I write and feel free to read any or all of it. At the very end of the post are links for the book’s first chapter and a book trailer. If you’re a fan of Francine’s you may or may not know some of the answers to these questions. If you’re a fan, let me know your favorite book or what you like about her as a writer.

How did you get started as a writer? From the time I was a child, I knew I would be a writer. Because I didn’t know what I would write, I majored in English (emphasis in literary writing) and minored in journalism (emphasis on who-what-when-where-why). My parents had always been non-fiction readers. Rick’s family loved all kinds of books – and lots of fiction. Mom Edith loaned me novels and I loved them. On a dare (from Rick) I decided to write a combination of my favorite genres and wrote a “western-gothic-romance”. Romance novels were booming in the general market, publishers were on the look-out for new writers. My first manuscript sold and was published. I was hooked! I followed with eight or nine more (of what I call my B.C. (before Christ) books). They are all now out of print, are never to be reprinted, and are not recommended.

When I turned my life over to Jesus, I couldn’t write for three years. I tried, but nothing worked. I struggled against God over that because writing was my “identity.” It took that period of suffering “writer’s block” to bring me to my senses. God was trying to open my eyes to how writing had become an idol in my life. It was the place I ran to escape, the one area of my life where I thought I was in complete control. (Hardly!) My priorities were all wrong and needed to be put right. God first, husband and children second (we had three children by then) and third-- work. I prayed God would change my heart. My love for writing and reading novels waned and my passion for reading and studying God’s Word grew.

Rick and I began hosting a home Bible study. I began working with Rick in his business. The children came along and played in the office, hiding in the shipping popcorn. Writing ceased to matter. I was in love with Jesus and my husband and children. God never stops with the transformation process. We began studying the book of Hosea, and I sensed God calling me to write again – this time a romance about Jesus’ love for each of us. Redeeming Love was the result. It is the retelling of the Hosea story, set in Gold Rush-era California. After I turned it in, I wasn’t sure whether I would write anything more. I had so many questions about what it means to be a Christian, how to live for God, different issues that still haunted me. I felt God nudging me toward using my writing as a tool to draw closer to Him. I would ask my question, create characters that would play out the different viewpoints and seek God’s perspective. I began work on A Voice in the Wind. Writing has become a way to worship the Lord through story – to show how intimately He wants to be involved in our lives.

Which is your favorite book of those you’ve written? My favorite book is Redeeming Love. It was my first as a born-again Christian, my statement of faith, and the most exciting year I’ve spent writing anything. I felt God’s presence throughout the months of work, as though He were telling me His story through thousands of Scriptures as well as explaining the inner heart-ache and quest of each “my” characters.

Which book was the hardest to write and why? The Atonement Child was the most personal and difficult to write because I had to face my own abortion experience. Added to the considerable research I did, and women who shared their experiences with me, I went through an intensive post-traumatic stress Bible study for post-abortive women at our local pregnancy counseling center. Reliving all aspects of my abortion decision and experience was excruciating – but healing. After twenty-six years of being imprisoned by guilt and shame, I was free through the power and love of God. Though the book was the most heart-wrenching to write, it also proved to be the most life changing. I’ve received countless letters from other post-abortive women and have learned my experience is not unique. Our nation is filled with wounded men and women. The character of Hannah is based on my story, Doug is based on Rick’s, and Evie is based on my mother’s.

Tell us about your current work. I have just completed the second in a set of two books about mother-daughter relationship over four generations. This was intended to be one long novel dealing with the different ways generations have lived out their faith – but became so long it needed to be divided. Her Mother’s Hope will be released March 16, 2010. Her Daughter’s Dream will follow in September. There are numerous family and personal details woven into both books and I plan to share those things on my blog.

What is your goal or mission as a Christian writer? I want to whet the appetite for the real thing: the Bible and a personal relationship with Jesus. I try to weave Scripture throughout the story so people receive the Word and see what it might mean in their lives – how the Lord is present and real and passionately interested in each of us. He is not an idea. He is real, all-powerful, all-knowing, the embodiment of love, deeply involved in our existence, and He created each of us for a purpose.

What advice would you give to a new writer? Write what you need to read. Write from your heart and. Write truth. Sometimes it hurts to peel away the layers of self-deception and see ourselves in the mirror, but it will also draw us closer to Jesus. And your work may minister to others struggling with the same issues. Read the Bible every day so that it will flow naturally into the story. Study the Bible from beginning to end. It is the most exciting reading in the world. It is also alive – and will help you recognize when you are entering into sin and need to realign yourself with the Lord. Keep your focus on Jesus.

First chapter excerpt at: Click here

Book trailer video at: Click here

PLEASE NOTE: A complimentary copy of this book was provided to me as a blog tour host by Tyndale House Publishers in exchange for posting this interview on my blog. Please visit Christian Speaker Services (click here) for more information about blog tour management services.

© Nadine Zawacki 2010

Facebook Flirting

2010-04-12T14:25:00.003-04:00

Tom and I are not the only couple that flirt on Facebook. I know it may seem that way, because we do it so often. Why flirt on Facebook, especially when you’re living in the same house? Because it’s fun. I love him and I don’t care who knows it. Sometimes I just like reminding him in writing that he’s the one for me. It brings a smile to my face and my heart jumps a beat when I read his proclamations of love.

I’m a firm believer in expressing your love for your spouse. Just because the “honeymoon” is over the passion, fun, and excitement shouldn’t be. A honeymoon is defined as the traditional holiday taken by newlyweds to celebrate their marriage in intimacy and seclusion. No one said that intimacy should be over when the “honeymoon” is.

When we got married, I stood in front of God, our family and friends and proclaimed my love for Tom. Facebook is just an extension of that for me. In this day of electronic communication why not use it to express yourself. People do that with blogs, Facebook, Twitter, etc. all the time. When we were dating Tom would write me these beautiful love letters, now he leaves me little notes on Facebook. He still gives me romantic cards and notes, but Facebook has become part of his expression of love for me.

I don’t mind expressing my love for Tom on Facebook. It’s not the only way that I express my love, just one of them.

So if you have a Facebook account, try a little flirting with the one you love.

© Nadine Zawacki 2010

The Blank Page

2010-04-07T14:39:00.001-04:00

The blank page can be a writer’s worst nightmare. A clean canvas waiting for a story to form on it shouldn't be so scary. The blank page anticipates the weaving of the author’s imagination. Why would something that is pure and clean cause heartache? When words don’t seem to form it’s heartbreaking. You feel lost. You feel like you've lost it . . . or maybe it’s just me.

The last time I wrote a blog post it was over a month ago. It’s not because I haven’t attempted to write something. I feel blocked. I feel as unoccupied as the page that stares back at me. I’m not sure what is going on.

So how do I get “over it?” I’m not quite sure. I hope that the flood gates of creativity come pouring out of the heavens and into my spirit.

Maybe this little post is the beginning of the end of The Blank Page.

© Nadine Zawacki 2010

Eye–Hand Coordination

2010-03-09T14:46:00.001-05:00

Eye-hand coordination involves how effective we are at translating what our eyes see into appropriate physical response, such as anticipating the motion of a ball thrown our way so that we can catch it.

As a grown up you may not have time to practice catching a ball, instead come to New York City. New Yorkers have a unique way of practicing this activity without even realizing it. All you need is a traffic light and a car in front of you. The moment that light turns green, place your hand on your car horn if the person in front of you does not proceed forward the instant the light changes.

I believe you have to be able to accomplish this skill set in order to get a driver’s license. Whether you have a car behind you or you are behind a car, you must be able to honk that horn or step on the gas the instant the light changes to green or be subject to lots of honking.

Today when my hand hit the horn when the car in front of me didn’t move quickly enough, I realized - it’s official. I’m a New Yorker once again.

© Nadine Zawacki 2010

Back in New York

2010-03-04T10:58:00.000-05:00

Since we moved back to New York, it’s been nice to reconnect with family and friends. We love our new church family. It’s been fun getting to know them. The food here is like no other – pizza, bagels, cannoli, etc.

One of the nice things about being back in New York is the ability to revisit some of the old places we use to go to. For years Tom and I have told the story about how we meet at the fruit and vegetable store over 32 years ago.

Recently we headed to Brooklyn and to the corner of Utica Ave. and Church Ave. where the old fruit and vegetable store was located. Good Pickins was no longer there, but there was still a fruit and vegetable store in that location. We parked the car, even though it was snowing, got out and walked to the store.

The pizzeria that was across the street was gone and replaced by a Payless Shoe Store.
The pharmacy that was diagonal from his store was still there to my surprise.
This was where Tom stood when I asked him to the prom.
This was his view as he waited for me to cross the street.
When we went inside Tom told the lady behind the counter how I asked him out over 32 years ago right outside. He also told how he worked there at that time when it was called Good Pickins. A customer chimed in that she remembered the store when it was called that. I guess she has been in the neighborhood a very long time.

We drove by my old home that I grew up in and took a picture. It’s the door on the right. My oldest friend lived right next door on the left and we would talk to each other at night from the windows upstairs.
That block was much smaller than I remembered. My mom wanted to make sure I was super careful crossing it to visit friends.

Visiting those places was a sweet memory that I will treasure.

© Nadine Zawacki 2010

If you want to read the encounter of how we met, check it out here and here.

SURPRISE!!!

2010-02-21T19:10:00.002-05:00

One of the hardest things to do is pull off a surprise party for anyone. Tom just turned fifty. It’s a milestone birth date for certain. I thought about a surprise party, but he’s hard to get so I asked him what he wanted for his birthday. For months I asked this question. The problem was that every time it came up, he would say no. He didn’t want a fuss made over him. He doesn’t like to be the center of attention. I decided it’s his birthday and I’ll respect his wishes.

About two weeks ago, one of the ladies approached me and asked if we could do a party for Tom. I talked it over with a couple of people and we decided we would do a surprise party on Saturday, February 20th. Everyone would bring something. The people at the church know how to throw a party and how to cook. I thought it would be fun. That day, I contacted his family and the people in our church to let them know the plans.

So, what does my loving husband say to me that very night?

Tom: “Honey, maybe we should do something for my birthday. I was thinking about it and thought maybe we could do a church potluck and invite my family. I was looking on the calendar and because of Valentine’s Day, we could do it the Sunday after my birthday, the 21st. What do you think?”

Me: Hmmmm. Did he just say that to me? Is he trying to plan his own party when I’m planning a surprise party the night before? “Whatever you want Tom. It sounds like a good idea.”

What else was I suppose to say? I decided I would fix him for trying to plan his own party. I decided to keep the party the night before. Now I can plan and buy things for the party without having to hide what I’m doing. We had a sign up sheet for people and made announcements about it being on Sunday the 21st.

The only thing left was “how to get Tom there and have an excuse for me to do my hair and make-up?”

I had a friend from church ask Tom and I to dinner for this birthday. He and his wife would pick us up. I had another lady (who leads worship on Sundays) call Tom and tell him she was at church for rehearsals and there was something wrong with the heat. The following video (made by our nephew, Johnny) shows what happened when we got to the church.

I love you babe. I’m glad you enjoyed your party and were surprised. Thank you, thank you, thank you EVERYONE who helped make the evening possible. For those who helped before the party, during the party and after the party. I love you guys.

© Nadine Zawacki 2010

UnChristian

2010-02-15T16:45:00.004-05:00

Our church did a book club on the book, “unChristian.” It’s a book by David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons. Kinnaman works for the Barna Group which conducts research studies. His research took over three years and his focus was on the age group of sixteen to twenty-nine year olds.

Christianity has an image problem and this book examines why that is and explores the perceptions people outside the church have about Christians. I believe we do have an image problem and some of it is well deserved. I didn’t agree with every perception in the book, but most of it was right on.

The book contains raw data – what people think when they hear the word, “Christian.” The chapters deal with the perceptions “outsiders” have about Christians. Here’s an example: we are hypocritical, only interested in getting people “saved,” antihomosexual, sheltered, too political, and judgmental.

What I liked about the book is Kinnaman didn’t say we should stop speaking the truth of who Jesus is or that we needed to water down our faith. What he was saying was we needed to change the perceptions to new ones that reflect the heart of God. We need to love people just because that was the example Jesus showed us. He hung out with tax collectors and prostitutes. He was a friend to those who were friendless. He simply loved those his Father placed in his path.

Some people had a hard time with the book because they felt insulted. I don’t believe this book was meant to insult, but enlighten. If something is not working then we need to examine why. We need to love God’s people. We need to love them the way Jesus did – right where they are at.

I hate it when a telemarketer calls me because they don’t know me. They don’t care about me or what my bills are. What they care about is closing the deal. I don’t ever want to make someone feel like that. I want them to know the love of God. For me that should start with my being their friend.

I’m doing a book giveaway. If you live in the United States and would like a chance to win a copy of this book, then leave a comment. I will pick a winner next Monday, February 22nd.

If you want to listen to some messages Tom preached on the book, just go to our church’s website.

© Nadine Zawacki 2010

AND THE WINNER IS . . . Brenda. Congratulations. I'll be contacting you for your address.

Everyday's a Gift

2010-02-11T06:48:00.004-05:00

Today I celebrate 32 years of being with Tom. It's not our wedding anniversary but the anniversary of when we started dating. I wrote about it here and here. I love telling the story about how we met in the fruit and vegetable store. I was so young and he was so cute.

I remember Tom telling me how much he loved me right away. At 16, it wasn't easy for me to say "I love you" back, but when I did I meant it. I'm so blessed God allowed me to meet the man I was going to marry at such a young age. I'm blessed that I didn't have to kiss many frogs to get my prince. My prince was delivered to my neighborhood between the peas and coconuts. He looked like a prince so it wasn't hard to pick him out of a crowd.

Being together for 32 years is a blessing. Everyday is a gift. I treasure my time with Tom. I love spending time with him. I love ministering with him. I love traveling with him. I love sharing life with him.

In some ways 32 years is a long time and in others it feels like only the beginning. I love you Tom and I will always remain,

Forever Yours,
Nadine

(The picture above was taken 32 years ago on February 19, 1978 by my brother-in-law)

Fans

2010-01-20T15:42:00.002-05:00

There's a new excitement for me regarding sports now that I’m back in NY. I love the Giants and the Mets. Granted they didn’t do very well this past season, but here’s what I’ve noticed. When you’re a fan of a team, you’re a fan whether they are winning or losing. When they are losing you’re not happy, but still a fan regardless.

Living in NY you have to pick a team. Each sport has two professional teams and you have to pick one. I’ve not come across anyone who says they’re a fan of New York and they root for both the Yankees and the Mets. Met fans love the Mets and hate the Yankees – why? I don’t even know. It’s like most New Yorkers don’t like New Jersey (sorry Jersey).

Now that I’m older and the Giants are out of the playoffs, I can root for the Jets to win. I’m not passionate about the Jets, but for the sake of my brother-in-laws – I’ll not root against them.

Fans are fanatical. They are passionate. They are emotional. They are loyal. Did you ever notice how some dress up for the games? They paint their faces; they wear wigs and the uniforms of their teams. They scream, yell and carry on. They cheer when the game is going their way and yell when someone fumbles. This is very acceptable way to behave in today’s society. In fact it’s encouraged.

It didn’t matter where we lived in the United States; we were still Giants and Mets fans. We didn’t always get to see all the games and hear as much details as we do being back in New York, but fans we remained.

What evokes that type of passion in you? What causes you to be emotional? What are you loyal to? What difference does it make in your life and in the lives of others around you? What activity or place do you go to that stirs life within you?

Express your passion. Express your creativity. Express what God has placed in your heart and in your being to do. Go where there is life.

© Nadine Zawacki 2010

Image from NY Daily News Kostroun/AP

Post Secret

2010-01-11T18:53:00.005-05:00

Sunday evening Tom and I went to a Post Secret show. What is Post Secret do you ask? It is a website that Frank Warren started in January 2007. The idea was to have an art project in which people submitted their secrets on homemade postcards. No restrictions were made on the content and sometimes they are graphic in nature. The only requirement was that the secret was truthful and it was never spoken before. Frank Warren would post these on his blog, Post Secret.

The postcards range from the funny to the somber. New secrets are posted every Sunday.

I think part of the appeal for this webpage is people being able to express deep hurts and pain for the first time. It’s like a weight being lifted off their shoulders. I think when someone reads a postcard that they can relate to, they feel less alone. They know someone else understands their pain.

Often I’ve been moved by stranger’s secrets. I’ve said a prayer when I’ve read one that moved me.

So what is a Post Secret show?

Frank Warren told stories of how he started Post Secret. He read some postcards that were not published before. The best part of the evening was the open mike. People who attended had an opportunity to speak a secret or share a brief story. It was very moving and there wasn’t a dry eye in the house.

Tom and I enjoyed our evening very much. We were seated in the second row.

Pictured below is a picture I took of Frank Warren from my seat.
© Nadine Zawacki 2010

Calendar Outtakes

2010-01-08T10:04:00.006-05:00

I'm very proud of my son. The nature of his job is that he gets to work on many different types of projects. He's worked on TV shows, commercials, videos, etc. He's been working in the art department for the past year.

He recently worked on a calendar shoot and these pictures are some "outtakes" photos that were taken of him and his team after they dressed the set. In the picture above my son is in the one in the blue shirt holding the knife.

The Blind Side

2010-01-05T20:32:00.002-05:00

The blind side is a football term that means the side opposite the direction a player is facing. An example would be when a right-handed quarterback sets up for a pass; the left tackle is responsible for protecting his blind side.

The Blind Side is also a movie, based on the life of Michael Oher. Sean and Leigh Anne Tuohy take him into their home and into their hearts. I wanted to see this movie because I love Sandra Bullock and Tim McGraw. The story line and the previews appealed to me. I also love true to life stories.

The Tuohy’s have two children of their own when they bought Michael into their home. It’s a story about mutual loving relationships that stirred my heart. I have to admit that many parts of this movie bought tears to my eyes. I love when a story moves me in some way. I love to read a book or see a movie that shows ordinary people doing selfless acts that change lives.

When you see this movie, you’ll understand what “the blind side” really means. It’s more than just a football term.

Below is the trailer from the movie.

© Nadine Zawacki 2010

Happy New Year

2009-12-31T16:54:00.002-05:00

Hindsight is twenty-twenty. It’s sometimes easy to look at the past and say, “I could or would have done that differently.” That’s not always the case. I sometimes found the difficult things in life are what help to shape me and make me stronger. It never feels like it at the time.

With each New Year that approaches, hope fills the heart. Hope that the coming year will bring about more joy than sadness. Hope that life will be easier in some way. Hope for things we are looking forward to – events that will take place, people we’ll see and places we’ll go.

This past year brought about lots of change, but next year is a clean slate - a new beginning.

I don’t know what the New Year will bring, but as long as I have Tom by my side, the love of my children and most importantly God to rely on – then I forge ahead.

Happy New Year. May the new year bring you joy, happiness, and blessings beyond measure.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Tis’ the Season

2009-12-22T16:42:00.001-05:00

It’s been very interesting shopping around in a big city. I go to the mall and there are absolutely no parking spaces. What tends to happen is people circle and follow someone coming out of the mall, follow them to their car so that they can get a parking space.

The holiday season doesn’t always bring out the best in people. I was in WalMart when a lady was having a screaming match with another woman. I thought it was going to come to blows, but thank God it didn’t.

Unlike the rest of NYC, on Long Island you can turn right on red unless there is a sign stating you can’t. I was waiting to turn, but the light was red and the sign was not in an obvious place. The lady behind me started beeping me and she had some interesting hand signals. I tried to point to the “no turn on red” sign but she was having a fit in her car. She huffed and puffed, and put her head back against her seat. You would have thought the world was coming to an end. Finally when the light changed, I went and she sped past me.

On Saturday it snowed over 2 feet here in NYC. What a beautiful blanket of snow we all woke up to on Sunday. I witnessed six people get out of their cars to help another car stuck in the snow. They pushed until the car got free. My upstairs neighbors shoveled all our snow by the time we came home from church. Yes, we opened the church up on Sunday and three other people came. We live only a block away so Tom wanted to open it up just in case anyone wanted to come.

During this holiday season remember tis’ the season to be jolly. Spread the love.

Have a Merry Christmas everyone.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

And the Winner is . . .

2009-12-18T11:39:00.002-05:00

The CD winner is Tina from Palm Tree Fanatic. I hope you enjoy the CD Tina. Congratulations. Check out the 46 second video Tina has on her blog, it's amazing.

Giveaway

2009-12-13T23:36:00.002-05:00

For all of you who couldn’t join us to hear Josh Young live, he graciously gave me a CD to giveaway here on my blog. If you want to hear a sample of his songs, check my previous post.

The rules are simple. Leave a comment and you are automatically entered. Do a post on your blog letting others know about the giveaway and you receive a second chance at winning the CD yourself.

I’m giving away Josh’s “Under Your Shadow” CD. I know whoever wins this CD will be blessed.

I will announce the winner on Friday, December 18.

For those of you who already own this CD, please leave a comment about what you like about it or your favorite song. If you own the CD and want a chance at giving it as a Christmas present, let me know. You can be entered also.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Josh Young

2009-12-11T09:26:00.002-05:00

A few years ago, Tom and I had the pleasure of meeting Josh Young and his lovely wife Jodi. Josh has recorded a couple of CDs and is one of my favorite worship leaders. When I’m having a hard day and I want to change my mind set, I just listen to one of his CDs. He is talented, humble, real and fun to be around. In other words, a good man.

We are excited that he is playing tomorrow night, December 12th, at our church for a night of worship. If you’re in the New York area and are interested in coming, let me know. It starts at 7:30 pm.

Enjoy these YouTube videos of Josh singing.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

The Revolve Tour

2009-12-10T09:27:00.004-05:00

Last weekend a group of moms and I took six of our young girls to The Revolve Tour. The girls had a great time. The conference was just for girls and the theme was being real. It's an important message for young girls as well as boys to hear. Being real is not always easy. Adults have trouble with it, imagine how difficult it can be for young adults.

My favorite speaker was Chad Eastman. He spoke about guys being waffles and girls being spaghetti. Guys are like waffles because they have compartments. They put everything in a square. They can only operate in one square at a time. He said that they even have a box called, "Nothing." Girls are like spaghetti because everything is intermingled. Girls can go from one subject to another in a second while guys are still in the first wondering where did they go. You can order the book HERE.

My favorite part of the trip was Friday night when I shared the room (2 double beds) with another mom and six teenagers (pictured above). They were great. I was very impressed by the girls. We played this game called, "When I Look At You I See." We told each girl something positive we seen in them, some things were from our own hearts and some things were what we felt God was saying about the girl. These girls are awesome and I was touched by what they said to one another.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Will You Marry Me?

2009-12-08T16:05:00.006-05:00

Thirty years ago today this very handsome man got down on his knee, took my hand and kissed it. His smile lit up the entire room and my heart missed a beat. With his eyes filled with love, he looked at me and I knew my world was about to change. He said to me, "With all my heart I love you. I want to spend the rest of it with you. Will you marry me?"

Some wait a long time to hear those words, but I was only eighteen years old. Why God chose to bless me at such a young age, I don't know. I'm just grateful He did. This I'm sure of - He chose Tom for me.

I’m glad I was listening when God was talking all those years ago. No one is more perfect for me than Tom. When he looks at me, my heart still misses a beat and I melt in his arms.

Knowing what I know today and if I could go back in time I would still say yes to that question asked of me so many years ago. I love you Tom.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Picture: our engagement party, December 8, 1979.

The Purse

2009-11-30T13:40:00.003-05:00

Inspiration can come from almost anywhere. All you have to do is open up your eyes and see. During our book club meeting I noticed one of the purses (pictured above) of one of the gals at the meeting. It reminded me of a purse from the 1950’s or 1960’s. A story started to develop in my head.

Walking down the street Candice entered Granny’s Thrift Shop just for the fun of it. She wasn’t seeking anything to buy. She was saving for retirement and careful about spending money. Even though retirement was in about ten years she couldn’t help being frugal. She was amazed at the variety of items they gathered in such a small space. On a shelf next to a pair of shoes, a purse caught her eye.

She was drawn to it. Suddenly she was eight years old again.

“Momma, when are we going to the toy store?” Candice asked with a big smile on her face. “Soon, baby. You have to finish your breakfast before we can go.” Her mother stroked the top of her head. I finished as quickly as she could. They were going to the new toy store in town. It was the biggest one in three counties Momma said. I just couldn’t imagine how so many toys would fit in a store that big. “Let me grab my purse and clean your hands and we’ll be on our way.” I sat up front. Excitement filled every fiber in my being. Momma’s purse was right next to me. One day when I’m older, Momma said she would get me a purse just like hers. After Momma made sure I had my seat belt on, it was off to the toy store. Momma stopped the car at the light and looked at me. The smile on her face was stunning. It was the most beautiful face I had ever seen.

Candice picked up the purse. She had to have it. She checked the price tag and was heartbroken that she didn’t have enough money to purchase it. She held it in hands as if she was holding on to a priceless jewel.

“Look, Candy girl. See the store up ahead?” Momma said with a smile. Before I could answer, my world was forever changed. As momma stepped on the gas another car came from the left and rammed into the driver’s side door.

Holding the purse tightly, she walked to the cashier. She tried not cry, but a tear fell from her eye and rolled down her cheek. “Excuse me.” She said as she cleared her throat. Taking a deep breath she continued, “I was wondering if you could hold this purse for me until next week. I don’t have enough right now, but I can give you a partial payment.”

The old woman behind the counter took one look into Candice’s eyes and asked, “Oh, my dear. What’s the matter?”

“I . . . I . . . this purse reminds me of my mother. She had one just like it.”

“Is she no longer with you?”

I remembered being in the hospital, holding on to mother’s purse with a bruise around my waist where the seat belt was fasten. I couldn’t get the image of mother’s bloodied body from my mind. Momma didn’t move. Her head had cracked the windshield. My world had stopped. I tried to scream for help but no sound came out. I didn’t speak for weeks. I just held on to her purse.

“No. She died when I was little. My aunt came over to help pack away my mother’s things . . . and this purse . . . it was taken by mistake.”

The old woman placed her hand on top of Candice’s. “It’s okay honey. You’re the only one who has ever shown any interest in that old thing. You would be doing me a favor if you took it off my hands.”

Now the tears flowed freely. The kindness of this stranger touched her deeply. She managed to say, “Thank you.”

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T09:09:00.002-05:00

Lord I'm thankful for so many things - You, Tom and the kids, family, friends and all that You've given me.

May your day be filled with family, friends, love, joy and happiness. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Happy Birthday Son

2009-11-24T00:00:00.002-05:00

Twenty four years ago today our son joined our family. I was supposed to have another C-section and was scheduled to have him on the 25th. My dad had a hard time with this. He said his grandson will come when God determines it’s time for him to come and not when the doctor said. Mind you, we did not know if we were having a girl or boy, but my dad was convinced he was a boy. Our son agreed with him and he was a day early. He’s still always early. I remember looking into his eyes and falling in love.

As a child he was very active. We would call him “Ricochet Rabbit.” He was fast and always on the move. His tender heart came through when he slowed down enough to show it.

Today, I celebrate his birthday even though he is three thousand miles away, but in my heart I hold him close.

Tom and I couldn’t be prouder of our son. He’s strong, hard working, and handsome (like his pops). I admire how determined he is in pursuing his dreams. I love how focused he is.

I look forward to seeing you at Christmas. Happy Birthday, Son. Your pops and I love you very much.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Another Reason Why I’m Chandler

2009-11-16T11:18:00.002-05:00

I don’t like to take personality tests. You know the kinds that you answer a million questions to find out what “personality type” you are. Tom on the other hand loves these tests. What ends up happening is he bugs me to take them too.

I once took a test that asked the question, “Which Friends Character Are You?” Tom had nothing to do with it; he likes the more serious types of tests. Believe it or not I was Chandler. Maybe it’s the fact that I crack jokes all the time. Maybe it’s because I have something sarcastic to say (or ten). For the record, I show lots more self control with telling a joke. Those of you who know me are a little scared right now, but you should have seen me 20 years ago.

But this morning I was reminded why there is another reason why I’m the Chandler character – sound effects.

I don’t know about you other ladies out there, but I am horrible at sound effects. The majority of guys are born with this ability. They play cops and robbers or solider and produce all these sounds that sound like guns or bombs.

This morning I tried to imitate the sound of hair being cut by scissors. When Tom gave me that all knowing puzzled look, I told him what sound I was trying to make. He smiled, said he loved me and then made the correct sound of scissors cutting hair. We just laughed.

Here is a clip of Chandler that proves that sometimes these tests do come out correct.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

P.S. I have been responding to everyone’s comments. It’s not something I’ve done in the past, but just started doing.

Confession Time

2009-11-10T14:49:00.002-05:00

They say confession is good for the soul. Let’s see if that’s true. I want to confess something. I hope that you don’t think ill of me when I make this confession.

It all started as I was making some of my home made sauce. Tom’s mom taught me how when we first got married. That was the only thing Tom asked of me and it was a good idea, since I wasn’t Italian. She was fabulous and happy to share her recipe with me. In my house growing up rice and beans and barbeque goat meat was the norm so I didn’t have any idea about meatballs and spaghetti sauce. Anyway, I digress - back to my confession.

As I was cooking up my sauce, I started to pretend I had my own cooking show. If you must know the theme for my show is home cooking with different ethnic foods since I’m of different ethnic backgrounds.

I know I’m not Italian but I’ve made enough sauce in my 28 years of marriage that I’m an honorary Italian.

I also had a name for my show. It was called, “A Pinch of This and Dash of That.” I know what you’re thinking – my friend is nuts. But let me explain. I have a great imagination (one of the reasons why I like to write). I also have a love of cooking and cooking shows. I’ve been told that I’m humorous. I use to act in High School. You put all of those ingredients together and do you know what you get? You get someone pretending they have a cooking show while they cook dinner. Okay, maybe not.

I feel better getting it off my chest.

Now I’ve shared my little confession. What types of creative things do you do? If it’s something you do when no is watching even better.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Mirrors

2009-11-06T12:11:00.001-05:00

Mirrors are a funny thing. A Fun House of Mirrors have special mirrors that distort your appearance. It’s there for fun. You walk through and see yourself big or small or twisted. You have a good laugh because you know you don’t look like that.

I look at myself and I’m not always pleased with my appearance. I wish I was thinner. I wish my hair wasn’t as frizzy. I wish many things. Not all of it has to do with things that are visible.

When Tom looks at me he sees beauty. I know this because he tells me how beautiful I am everyday of our lives. When I call he answers, “Hello beautiful.” He’ll randomly ask, “How’s my pretty girl doing?” He tells me he loves me everyday.

So whose mirror is distorted? Mine or his?

When God looks at me, He sees the beautiful woman he created. He sees the child that is precious and dear to His heart. He sees the person He thought worthy enough to send His son to die for.

Hmmmm.

God is good. He loves me. Period.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

I’m Married to MacGyver

2009-11-04T15:14:00.001-05:00

Tom is many things to me. He is my husband, best friend, lover, encourager, protector, the father of my children. There is so much more I can say but I’m trying not to make some of you OD on sugar.

We have had things break before around our house and Tom’s handy and can fix many things with the proper tools. What I didn’t know until today was I’m married to MacGyver.

Do you remember that show where MacGyver can fix anything with ordinary things around him?

Tom fixed the wireless microphone at church with straw and duct tape. I was quite impressed.

It’s amazing what you can do with a little imagination.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Google Me This

2009-10-30T10:31:00.002-04:00

Google is an unbelievable tool. I have many different blog posts that come up when people are searching for something. Two of my most popular posts are; The Ankle Bracelet and Griot (Haitian Pork Shoulder). The names you use for your posts carry a lot of weight. I still get comments on the Ankle Bracelet post from women who grew up in New York City and remember the tradition.

When the people at our church found out Tom and I would be the new pastors they “Googled” us. I don’t know if it’s funnier that they “Googled” us or that they found things when they did. I’m grateful they only found good things like our Facebook accounts and our blogs.

What happens when you Google your name?

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

You’re All My Favorites

2009-10-27T10:45:00.001-04:00

A member of our church gave me this sweet book, You’re All My Favorites. Why would she give me a children’s story?

It all started with a picture I took with one of the girls at our Ice Cream Social. It was put on Facebook with a bunch of other photos taken that night. She took the photo and created one that said, “Nadine’s Favorite.”

You can imagine it did not sit well with one of the other teen girls. What happened next was a back and forth that turned out to be hilarious. It was all in fun, but I went on record that my love for them was the same.

We love people in different ways because there are different types of love. A love for a parent or a child is not the same as a love for a spouse.

We all want to be special and think we are someone’s favorite. I’m my parent’s favorite and since I’m so much younger than my siblings, I believe they let me get away with that (and it also happens to be true). When my dad was alive he would agree with me.

Hurt feelings can ensue when people choose one friend over another or one child or a parent, etc. I’m grateful that God doesn’t do that. Sometimes it may seem because of our circumstances that God is choosing to bless one person over the other. It’s been my experience that His love holds no bounds and His love is intense. The more I put into the relationship the more I’ll get out.

We judge Him by our circumstances. He gets blamed for the all the bad in the world. God is good and He loves me – this I know.

Not everyone will be our close confidants. We don’t have to wear our hearts on our sleeves. We will always have deep relationships and those that aren’t but are friendly. People we work with don’t need to know our deepest darkest secrets. That’s not what I’m talking about here.

I want to go on record as saying, I’m sorry if I’ve ever hurt anyone’s feelings. If I made you feel less than. It was never my intention. My heart is that . . . You’re All My Favorites.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Over the Top

2009-10-24T17:10:00.001-04:00

My friend Scarlet gave me an award for having a blog that was Over the Top. Sweet. Thanks Scarlet. Part of the award is to answer the survey below (using one word answers).

Where is your cell phone? Pocket
Your hair? Frizzy
Your mother? Sweet
Your father? Deceased
Your favorite food? Seafood
Your dream last night? Forgetable
Your favorite drink? Latte
Your dream/goal? Writer
What room are you in? Office
Your hobby? Writing
Your Fear? Mice
Where do you want to be in 6 years? Hawaii
Where were you last night? Bed
Something that you aren’t? Pretentious
Muffins? Blueberry
Wish list item? MacBook
Where did you grow up? Brooklyn
Last thing you did? Clean
What are you wearing? Clothes
Your TV? Small
Your pets? None
Your friends? Considerate
Your life? Full
Your mood? Happy
Missing someone? Kids
Vehicle? Old
Something you’re not wearing? Shoes
Your favorite store? Apple
Your favorite color? Blue
When was the last time you laughed? Today
Last time you cried? Yesterday
Your best friend? Tom
One place that I go to over and over? WalMart
Person who emails me regularly? Tom
Favorite place to eat? Anthony’s

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

My Nemesis

2009-10-23T11:28:00.000-04:00

I enjoy games. Facebook has a game called Bejeweled Blitz. It takes one minute to play so it goes very fast and there is not much of a commitment. Yesterday a friend who plays the game had as his status on Facebook: Going to beat Nadine’s Bejeweled score if it’s the last thing I do.

It made me giggle because there are some of my friends that play the game and are very good. Every time I get a good score and I’m in the top 5, someone (my Bejeweled nemesis) comes along and beats my score. Actually there are about eight of them that do that, so I’m not naming names, but you know who you are . . . or do you?

Seriously it’s just my way of having fun. I laugh and sit there for the next twenty minutes trying to better my score.

Today, I’m sitting with Tom at the oncology office while he has his maintenance treatment of Rituxan. For the next two years, every six months for four weeks this will be what we go through. It’s not as severe as regular chemo treatments, but it does take up to six hours and it makes him really tired. The good news is that by the next day, he’s back to his normal self.

I love Tom . . . I hate cancer.

Since his diagnosis in 2005, we have taken this approach (or at least tried): Enjoy the good days, endure the bad, but keep moving forward. I know for Tom he doesn’t even think about cancer unless there is a doctor’s appointment or treatments.

My real nemesis is cancer. It is not a game, but real life. I hang on to the promises of God and hope for the future. We enjoy our time together. We treasure it. Even on days like these when I’m sitting next to him as he rests, I remind myself that God is good and He loves us.

Recently we picked up a plaque that had this saying on it:

Hope is the ability to hear the music of tomorrow: Faith is the courage to dance to it today.

May you all dance.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Happy Birthday to My Daughter

2009-10-21T09:48:00.002-04:00

I can’t believe my baby girl is 26 today. It wasn’t that long ago they were placing her in my arms for the first time. I tease her that I’m too young to be the mother of a 26 year old. I’ve been saying that since her 25th birthday. The truth of the matter is that I couldn’t be prouder to be her mother.

She’s smart, beautiful and kind. She was always smart as a young child. I remember when she was four years old and I made chocolate cake as a treat for dessert. I didn’t do this often, so she was really looking forward to it. We told her she had to finish her dinner before she could have a piece of cake. This was her response:

“My food compartment is full, but my dessert compartment is empty.”

Okay, she got major credit for using the word compartment at four years old and a piece of chocolate cake for using it correctly.

She calls us often and a smile always comes to my face when I hear her ringer on my phone.

I love you and my heart’s desire is to be with you today, but since I can’t I will have to give you extra hugs at Christmas.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

I've always loved that picture of her and Tom.

Inspiration

2009-10-20T11:12:00.002-04:00

The dictionary defines the word inspiration as: a divine influence; action on a person believed to qualify him/her to receive and communicate sacred revelation; the action or power of moving the intellect or emotions or the act of influencing or suggesting opinion.

I’ve not been inspired in a while to write any blog posts. Why? I don’t know.

On my fan page on Facebook, I’ve been inspired daily. But those were little bursts of inspiration. Playing writing games have been lots of fun for me and those who participate.

Sometimes, I just need to slow down enough in order to put aside all the distractions so I can be inspired. I find when I stop to listen to what God has to say, I’m inspired. I get ideas and I’m able to express them in writing. Help me Lord to be more focused. My goal is to set time aside to be inspired.

So what inspires you?

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

I Want to Know What Love Is

2009-10-05T11:37:00.003-04:00

Last week my hubby was away at a conference. Every night there was some activity or another to keep me busy. I taught a class on dreams one night and ran the book club another. I had a couple of young gals come over for a movie and the ladies from our church went to pizza and a movie. One of the ladies called me for a mani/pedi and lunch. The week seemed to go very slowly even with all that activity.

Tom is home now and I’m glad to have him back. We did lots of Facebook flirting while he was gone as well as talk on the phone. If you are on Facebook with your husband, I highly recommend Facebook flirting. We wrote messages to each other and how much we missed each other. He even posted a love song on his page. I love him. I don’t mind telling the whole world.

Love after 31 years together gets stronger. I can honestly say I’m more in love with him now than I ever was. We are often mistaken for newlyweds when we are out. I think it’s the way we stare in each other’s eyes. When I want to know what love is, I look in Tom’s eyes. Not only do I see his love for me, but I see his love for God. It’s that love that gets us through the tough days and makes the good days great. It’s that love that grows and becomes stronger.

I hope you enjoy this video by Mariah Carey and the song Tom dedicated to me last week. Here’s the thing about this song – you can easily sing it to God as well as a loved one.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Birthday Week

2009-09-26T09:26:00.001-04:00

Yesterday was my birthday. I had a great day. Tom could not have been sweeter or more attentive if he tried. Before I get to that, let me tell you about birthday week. One of the ladies at church had a recent birthday and I noticed it was being celebrated for the whole week. Tom kept asking me what I wanted for my birthday and I kept coming up with a blank. It’s been hard for me to get excited about my birthday. It has nothing to do with age. I’m fine with my age. It had been a rough year. We sold our home that I loved, moved twice and had to deal with cancer again.

Having a week long celebration really helped. Tom made me some very special seafood dinners and was so sweet to me leading up to my birthday. I had shrimp scampi and Sicilian Seafood Stew. Yummy.

On my actual birthday he couldn’t have been more of a prince. He got up and came back from the store with: beautiful pink roses, a lovely card, my favorite Starbucks latte and a cream cheese bagel. We went to the movies. We saw Fame. I loved the original. The remake was okay, but my movie partner was handsome and charming. We bought some nice steaks, lobster tail and King Crab legs. That’s right he made me an incredible birthday dinner.

I had such a great day with Tom. My kids called. I got lots of birthday love on Facebook. I received a Happy Birthday text, lovely cards in the mail and even an e-card. I felt very loved and very special.

So if you find yourself not wanting to celebrate your birthday – make a week long event out of it. Trust me. If you love your birthday stretch it out for a week.

Thank you Tom for loving me and making me feel special.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Shiny Broken Pieces

2009-09-23T00:13:00.006-04:00

Today I have a guest blogger, my hubby Tom. I wanted to reprint this blog post he wrote. It spoke to my heart and I hope it speaks to yours.

Awoke at 3:00 AM, can't seem to sleep. Watched the season premier of House tonight. The main character is a brilliant but very broken physician. This episode opens up with our extremely gifted yet horribly flawed hero in a state mental institution... as a patent. The next two hours portrayed his journey to emotional honesty. The writers and actors did their jobs very well.

It made me think.

I'm broken too. I cover up my my brokenness effectively but that doesn't mean I'm whole, I'm not. I'm still broken. I've learned how to ignore my pain and how to coexist with my pain and even how to function at very high levels in spite of my pain. But none of these things, not one, has healed or removed my pain.

I could go on like this, broken yet functional, for a very long time and most would never know. Our culture is ill-equipped to deal with flawed leaders, the church even less then society. I have learned how to see the good in every circumstance and situation. When life has given me lemons I've used them to make very tasty sermon illustrations. I'm more entertaining but I'm still broken. Others are refreshed, heck, some are even inspired - but me, if I'm truly honest I have to admit, my pain still remains.

"Com' on Tom, count your blessings..." I do have many, much more than I deserve.

"Look at the lives you have touched..." Wow, more than I could ever have imagined, I'm humbled, eternally grateful - the lemonade has gone a long way, a very long way.

But about that pain...

Papa, two bouts of cancer have broken me in ways I can't begin to express. The physical toll, as expensive as it has been, is easily eclipsed by the emotional and spiritual. Please take all my fractured pieces. Some have been hidden away for a very long time. Others I have have kept well polished and as presentable as possible. I have no idea how to repair them, some don't seem to fit together any longer. I'm pretty sure that many just need to be replaced.

Papa, I offer you my heart, please be gentle, it's been through a lot and it's been broken for a very long time, thanks. Well, it's almost 4:30, I'm going back to bed and see if I can get a little more sleep, goodnight.

© Tom Zawacki 2009

Guilty Pleasure

2009-09-14T19:49:00.001-04:00

I am the first to admit that there are some shows I like to call “guilty pleasures.” Why do I call them that? Well, it’s because they may not be the “best” thing on television but I find pleasure in watching it anyway. One of those shows to my surprise is called, Drop Dead Diva. The premise is dumb and the acting is less than stellar but I find enjoyment in it anyway. The show is about a plus size lawyer who dies and goes to heaven the same time that a pretty blonde model does. The model pushes a button to go back to earth and ends up in the body of the plus size lawyer. She retains her memories but is now suddenly very smart. I told you it was a dumb premise.

This past week the show was about the lawyer going into a fancy boutique to buy a dress she saw advertised. The problem came when the store didn’t carry anything above a size 10. She was treated “less than” because of her size and asked to leave. Being a lawyer she naturally sued them.

It reminded me of something that happened when I my daughter was visiting. We went to the mall. I was wearing my Wal-Mart special jeans, shirt and sneakers. My hair was up and I had very little make-up. I was comfortable. We were in Lord & Taylor. We passed by the fur coat area and I walked in to take a better look. A man came out from the back, took one look at me and when right back from which he came. I remembered feeling “less than.” I so wanted to have a Pretty Woman moment. I wanted to go buy a very expensive fur coat somewhere else, come back and let that man know he “blew it.”

Maybe I like the show because I have had a problem with my weight my whole life. There have been times when I was thin but mostly I shop in that “plus size” section of the store.

Whether I lose weight or not doesn’t matter. What matters is - do I feel good about who I am as a person? Am I less intelligent because of the section of the store I shop? Am I nicer? Am I less than because I can’t afford a fur coat? No. Hey, don’t get me wrong I would love to lose weight and afford that fur coat. But this I know, neither one defines who I am. I have a man who loves me and tells me everyday I am beautiful. That is worth more than money or a size 10 pair of jeans.

This particular guilty pleasure allowed me to take a look at myself and realize that I like me. I am blessed. How many guilty pleasures can you say that about?

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Always Remember

2009-09-11T08:49:00.005-04:00

This is the first time since 9/11 we are living back in New York. I remember watching the coverage on television while living in Washington state. I couldn't believe my eyes. My heart ached at the thought of the lost of life. The pain for the family members who were unsure of the fate of their loved ones. My niece worked across the street and saw the plane go into the building. We were worried until we heard she was okay late in the day. We were blessed that she was not hurt. Tom lost a childhood friend, a fireman who even though was off duty went into the tower to help.

Today, FOX news showed footage from that day. It felt real again. It felt different being in New York remembering it. There were thousands of lives lost - not only in New York, but in the Pentagon and Pennsylvania.

I remember the innocent and the brave that were lost. I pray for those they left behind as they grieve the loss of their loved ones.

Sam the Bellhop

2009-09-10T10:51:00.001-04:00

This was very cute. I thought you all would like it. He uses a whole deck of cards as he tells a story about Sam the Bellhop.

Driving

2009-09-05T13:27:00.001-04:00

We have traveled quit a bit since we moved to New York. Our family lives closer, but it still takes sometimes hours to visit them. We went to Boston for a conference and Pennsylvania for a doctor visit recently.

This is what I noticed.

Motorcycle drivers think the dotted line in the road is their own private lane. It makes me nuts when they speed by between two cars. The fact that this is very dangerous doesn’t seem to faze them.

When we drove through the town of Bloomsburg, PA on Route 11 there are warning signs. As Tom and I were driving he read one: “Caution, watch for aggressive drivers.” I thought he was kidding when he no sooner spoke those words a lady was tailgating us. This was a two way road with no place to pass. Tom was doing the speed limit but she didn’t seem to care nor had the ability to read the following signs: “Do not tailgate.” “Follow at least two dots beyond.” The dots on the road are markers for drivers. She was half a dot behind us and stayed that way until we turned off the road.

I understand why they had so many signs on that road. They should also post police cars to catch the violators. No one seemed to be paying attention to the millions of signs on the road.

Maybe I’ve become soft. I’ve not lived here in 16 years but I’ve managed to drive across the country not once but twice, yet I will not drive outside of Long Island. Why? The people on the road are nuts. They speed. They weave like it was the Indy 500. They ride your bumper.

Here’s the crazy thing. Sixteen years ago, I didn’t notice the difference. I was right at home and could weave with the best of them. Things change. I’ve come to realize that I will get there when I get there. I leave early enough to allow for traffic even though that’s hard to judge. I guess don’t feel the urgent need for speed. I’ve realized that I’ll get there whether the traffic tries to slow me down or other drivers cut me off.

God gets me to where I’m going. I prefer to move at His pace. Granted, His pace sometimes feels like its supersonic and other times feels like I’m crawling. When I’m on His road I’ll get there. I’ll the driving to Him.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Second Opinion

2009-09-02T10:38:00.001-04:00

A second opinion is a good thing. Having a clearer picture of what is happening in a situation is helpful. A fresh set of eyes that are caring and loving can deliver peace of mind like nothing else.

When living in West Virginia we became good friends with a man who was doctor. We connected on many levels because he was a Christian and from New York. His specialty was nephrology but he became our family doctor. He had a caring bedside manner and prophetic giftings that aided him with diagnosing your ailments.

With all the different medical issues Tom had gone through lately we were getting frustrated that no one was looking at the big picture as a whole. He had trouble with his legs and the family doctor sent him to a cardiologist who wanted tests. The family doctor was looking for the cause but didn’t nothing for the symptoms. It’s taken over a month to get all the tests done and we still don’t have definitive answers. He also saw the oncologist who only wanted to treat the symptoms but not necessarily try to find out “why” this was happening.

Tom searched and found Dr. D, our friend. He was living in PA. He had us change our appointment to the last one of the day so that we can visit with him afterwards. We took all his records and he sat with us; looked over every test, did additional tests that were not done, called an oncologist friend to review that aspect of his health and gave us a clear, concise picture. He said what was being done was on track. He cleared his kidneys from any issues that may have arisen from chemotherapy. Right now, Tom is doing well. His legs still hurt but it will take time for it to heal. He will have maintenance treatments done in October and every 6 months for the next two years. His lymphoma is being monitored with these treatments and PET scans. I keep praying for total healing.

The four hour drive was well worth it. How many doctors you know spend over an hour and half with you in their office and then take you out to dinner. It was wonderful to see him and his children. We will continue to keep him informed of all that happens here so he can continue to keep an eye on Tom’s health.

A second opinion gave us peace of mind.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Our Daughter’s Visit

2009-08-26T09:43:00.004-04:00

Our daughter came for a visit recently. Her brother was suppose to come at the same time, but had to work. We did miss him, but understand that you have to take the projects when opportunity arises.

We had a great time visiting with her. She’s studying psychology and is in her final year of undergrad work. We are very proud of her. We had a mother/daughter mani/pedi day. We were able to visit the last home she remembered before leaving sixteen years ago.

The best part of us living in New York is the ability to visit with family. Here are some pictures with family.
With my mom
With my mom and Tom
With her cousin (my brother's daughter)
With my niece's husband, my sister-in-law, my niece and my brother
With grandpa
With cousins
With Tom's sister and her hubby
Hope you all have a great day and enjoy those young ones. They grow up so fast.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Creativity Unleashed

2009-08-19T18:43:00.004-04:00

Creativity has way of bursting out of people. I've had a block for a few weeks and then it lifted. I'm very grateful it did. I decided that I wanted to help creativity burst out of others. On my fan page on Facebook, I've been playing a simple game of "Finish the Sentence."

I've posted some sentences and people left comments to finish the story. Today was the best one yet. I asked that people use only 3 words to finish the sentence. I had great responses, especially from Tom. I laughed out loud so many times. I love that people were inspired in some small way to let creativity flow from them.

Creativity unleashed! Let it flow. Okay for those of you who are not on Facebook, here's today's story game: Finish with ONLY 3 words:

He waited for this moment all of his life and it was finally here. Excitement filled the air. He open his mouth and with a tremble in voice he said," . . .

Tom must of did a dozen of them, but these two were my favorites: "Who's your daddy?" and "More Cow Bell."

If you like to leave a comment with your 3 words, please do.

Julie and Julia

2009-08-17T20:55:00.003-04:00

Tom and I went to see Julie and Julia movie. I loved it. So many times Tom elbowed me during the movie because he said both ladies reminded him of me. Julie with her blogging – loved the first time she got a comment on her blog. Julia with the publishing of her cook book – the first time you see your book in the form that others will see it. Even though I had my book self published it didn’t take away from the “ah” moment.

I must give Meryl Streep props for her portrayal of Julia Child. Excellent job.

The story line was very entertaining as well as inspiring. It inspired me not to give up. To keep doing what I love. It doesn’t matter what age you are, it is NEVER too late to reach your destiny or see your dreams come true.

I will have to get a copy of the book to read. I know the book is always better than the movie which makes me excited to read it.

I don’t want to say too much about the movie because I don’t want to spoil it for you, but it was worth the price of admission.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Things of Youth

2009-08-15T22:31:00.003-04:00

Tom and I were driving around when I noticed the block to my right was closed off for a block party. I couldn’t help but think back to block parties of my youth. It was loads of fun. I loved that they closed off the block and we were allowed to play in the street. It started in the morning and didn’t end until late evening. Everyone would make food and decorate tables in front of their homes. Neighbors would come by to eat and visit. Everyone would chip in to hire carnival rides that arrived on trucks. They would park on the street and we would take turns riding them over and over. Music played at night and we danced in the street. It was a fun time that I look back on fondly. Things of our youth do that sometimes.

At least once a day I’m reminded of another fond memory of my youth – the ice cream truck. There were two different types that would come around: Mr. Softee and The Good Humor Man. I loved both. Every time I hear that familiar song being played a smile would grace my face and a memory of me running to stop the truck would flash before my eyes. It wasn’t very hard to catch the truck because the ice cream man took his time coming the down the street.

One of the most popular blog posts I wrote and get “googled” all the time was a post about my ankle bracelet. You can read about here. I would get anonymous comments from ladies searching for a piece of their youth. Some regret having given up that sentimental part of their past. I was blessed I didn’t get rid of mine and still wear it from time to time because Tom gave it to me. For those who grew up in Brooklyn in the late 70’s and are interested in this blast from the past, you can find one HERE.

Fond memories of my youth bring a smile to my face. It was sometimes triggered by a smell, a sound or a sight, but the result was always the same – a smile.

What are some of the things of youth you remember with fondness?

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Thank You

Two awards were given during my dry spell in blogland and I want to thank two lovely ladies for honoring me.

Tina, Palm Tree Fanatic – gave me this award for anyone who likes to smile and/or laugh, and just generally spread that along in the blogging world.Yvonne, Blue Seehorse – gave me this award for being a queen in the area of writing.

Thank you ladies for your kindness.

Jill and Kevin's Wedding Entrance

2009-07-31T18:30:00.005-04:00

This video has been all over YouTube. I thought it was very creative and fun. Enjoy it.

Update on my knee:

The MRI showed I tore my meniscus, have water on my knee, worn cartilage and arthritis. I need to see an orthopedic doctor for an evaluation.

My daughter is in visiting and I've been enjoying having her being home, even if it is for just a week.

You know what they said about imitation is a form of flattery. Someone posted this version of the dance but in divorce court - it's all in fun. I'm a big fan of marriage. I think Jill and Kevin will be happy forever. They started off great.

A Funny Thing Happened on My Way to . . .

2009-07-25T15:31:00.001-04:00

I know I have been absent from blogland. My knee has gotten the best of me this month. I’m a bit tired of dealing with it. I had a MRI yesterday. Hopefully I didn’t tear anything on top of the arthritis. I should know the results next week.

There is a big highway called Sunrise by me and this was where the MRI place is located. There are three lanes of traffic going both directions (six in all).

On my way I noticed lots of police cars parked on smaller side roads leading to Sunrise Hwy. I turned onto the highway and noticed on the opposite side traffic was stopped. Why? There was some type of bicycle race going on and the cops cornered off the streets. I checked the building numbers on my side of the street and noticed that they were even. This was not a good sign. I knew then the place I was going to had an odd number and was across the street where traffic was stopped.

I parked my car across the street from the building because I didn’t want to be late. I had to now cross this street with my bum knee. Just for the record, they don’t give you enough time to cross before the lights start to flash that you only have 20 seconds and the count down began.

I had my MRI after waiting around for over half an hour (half that time spent in the gown they put you in). I had to turn off my cell phone because of the machines. It was getting late when I finished and I knew Tom would be wondering what was happening. I tried to put my phone back on but it wouldn’t turn on. Not good. I tried plugging it into the car charger when I finally made it back to my car. Nothing. I decided to drive to the church where Tom was. I tried to take the charger out but it wouldn’t budge. I see Tom and I cry. Why? I had enough. I had enough of that day. I had enough of my knee interfering with my energy and creativity. I had enough of everything.

Nothing is more healing than the arms of your husband, who loves you and can comfort you like no one else can. He held me. Loved on me. Fixed my phone. He’s my hero.

I look back on the day and I can laugh. My knee is getting better. I feel more like myself again. I’m grateful for my wonderful hubby who loves me. I’m grateful to wonderful people at our church who provided meals for us this week. I still have leftovers from those meals. I don’t have to cook again for a week. I’m a blessed woman who has had a frustrating week. When I look at things from the side of blessing instead of feeling sorry for myself life’s much clearer. Hmmm. You would think I would have learned that by now.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Ugh! That Blasted Knee

2009-07-19T20:39:00.003-04:00

Before my doctor went on vacation he told me I have arthritis in my left knee and gave me medicine. He would discuss with me what to do about it when he gets back on the 27th. Fun right?

I took my medicine and was starting to feel better when I stepped on the knee going down the stairs and suddenly saw stars. I was in lots of pain and I had a long car ride ahead me (I was upstate for a family gathering). Tom wanted to take me to the ER but I thought I would put ice on it and it would be better in the morning. It wasn’t and I stayed home from church.

Tom came home and took me to the ER. They took X-rays and the good news was nothing was broken, but I have severe arthritis and need to follow-up with my doctor.

I did get to take home the cool brace pictured above. Truly looks worse than it is. I’m grateful to all the people at church for their love, prayers and offers of help. Thanks guys.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Quote Me This . . .

2009-07-14T15:57:00.005-04:00

I love quotes. On my fan page on Facebook, I’ve been posting writing quotes. Here are a few of my favorites:

If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead, either write things worth reading or do things worth writing. - Benjamin Franklin

Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money. - Jules Renard (1864-1910)

There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside you. - Z.N. Hurston

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the other one. ~ Baltasar Gracián

I try to leave out the parts that people skip. ~ Elmore Leonard

What makes a quote memorable is it touches something inside of you. It sparks emotion, hope, laughter or a memory among other things. It makes you think especially if you connect with the quote in some way.

Scripture verses do all of that and more. When I feel like I’m just floundering and feel like God has forgotten me, this verse comes to mind:

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11

God has a plan and purpose for my life. I matter to Him. When I look back on the things that happen to me I realize how true Jeremiah 29:11 is. Sometimes in the midst of the confusion, I just can’t see clearly enough to see the end game. I’m glad sees the end game on my behalf.

My friend, Larry Randolph, once said: “God factors our stupidity into our destiny.”

What are some of your favorite quotes or scripture verses?

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Everyone Loves Raymond

2009-07-11T14:36:00.002-04:00

Have you ever watched the TV show, Everyone Loves Raymond? It’s hilarious. Tom and I have been watching the show in the afternoons. Tom is not a big comedy guy so he never watched it before. I would have it on while I cooked and laugh out loud and thus pulled him into my comedy net.

One of the funny aspects of the show is Raymond himself. He usually does stupid man things every episode. This makes Tom look very good. The other day he pushed his wife too far and she said, “Do you know how close you are to death right now?” If you want to know how to be a good in-law or spouse watch this show and do the opposite of what you see.

As hard as it is to believe sometimes Tom pulls a “Raymond.” For instance today I bumped my head really hard on the refrigerator. He asked if I was okay and I replied, “Yes, but it hurts.” His response, “Is the refrigerator okay?” Yes, he was being funny.

I love my husband. I think Tom is the best man God could have ever given me to be my best friend and the father to my children. He’s a good man and I love him to pieces. I think he’s handsome and just looking at him makes me smile.

I love you honey even when you pull a “Raymond.”

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

How Well Do You Handle Correction?

2009-07-08T19:46:00.001-04:00

Correction is never an easy thing. I have not met one person in my 47 years of life that loved or welcomed correction.

When I was a child, I didn’t deal with correction well. It wasn’t easy for me to take correction because I saw it as being rejected. I would shut down emotionally. If that was a problem still then editing my book would have been torture. I learned so much during that process and believe it or not it was a pleasant experience.

I’m grateful that God helped me to learn that this was part of life. If I want to be a writer then rejection is in my future. One of my favorite authors, besides Ted Dekker, is Frank Peretti. His first novel was rejected 17 times before a publisher took a chance on him. I’m so glad he didn’t give up.

Correction is hard to take, but I do believe I handle it much better now. After I stick my head in the sand and realize it’s hard to breathe down there, I brush myself off and forge ahead. Whenever I do this, my reward comes quickly. I’ve grown as a person. There is satisfaction in not quitting and completing a task.

Dealing with correction gets easier, but still it’s not fun. Don’t give up. Don’t quit. Forge ahead to the end of the rainbow.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Not Quite Myself

2009-07-02T12:52:00.007-04:00

I haven't been around much lately and I'm sorry. I've been busy and I'm having trouble with my knees, especially at night. Sometimes it's difficult to walk or stand for long periods of time. I'm trying not to let it get to me and still do what I need to do. I'm seeing a doctor next week and hope to find out what is going on. I'm not worried, I trust that God will take of me.

I just didn't want you all to think I disappeared and forgotten about you. I'll try to visit but my energy and creativity levels are at a low. I'm doing okay, just a bit tired at time.

On a totally separate subject, Tom's uncle sent him this link and I thought it was really neat. Tom always says, "Life's a musical." This proves it.

Home Again

2009-06-23T18:11:00.003-04:00

One of the things about being back in NY is visiting places we use to go and live. We went to dinner at a friend’s house and found ourselves in our old neighborhood in Queens Village. We drove by our old house (pictured above) and it’s changed. There was a chain linked fence that that wasn’t there before and a new door.

We also passed by this little bodega we would go to a block away (pictured below). I remember my daughter wanting to be a big girl and walk to the store for milk for me by herself. After she kept begging for so long, I let her, but what she didn’t know was that I followed her. Seriously, it’s NY. I hid behind the trees and cars and watched her the whole way.

The neighborhood was changing when we lived there and I was feeling unsafe. I always felt like our block was in a protective bubble. There wasn’t any trouble on our block. My next door neighbor was a retired policeman.

A crack house popped up two doors down but was quickly closed. What were they thinking – operating a crack house next to a policeman’s home? I guess they would have liked to know that information before moving in.

I remember going to Jamaica Ave. (which was only 3 blocks away) for something one day and saw a lone prostitute walking the streets. I begged God to take me somewhere safer for my kids.

We knew we were moving to West Virginia at that time, but didn’t know the exact timing of the move. It wasn’t long before we moved. Our time in West Virginia was challenging for us. We learned a lot about the ministry there. We did have the opportunity to touch the lives and be touched by some awesome people. It was really great to see some of them on our way back to NY.

We live on Long Island now and our neighborhood is nice. The neighbors are friendly and the church is not very far away. I’m very excited about this new phase in our lives. It seems like we have come full circle. We are not the same people who left 16 years ago. We have grown and matured. At least I would like to think so.

We are reconnecting with friends we had 16 years ago and it feels like no time has passed when we get together. Tom and I are grateful for the wonderful church family we have now and are honored that God would choose us to be a part of their lives. We’ve only been here about 7 weeks, but it feels in so many ways we have been here all our lives. I guess you can go home again.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

iphone 3GS

2009-06-19T14:14:00.002-04:00

This morning I was up at 5 am. Why so early? The idea was to leave by six and be one of the first people online for the iphone. I got up and made coffee for Tom and I. We ate cereal and we were ready to start our day.

Tom started the car . . . click, click, click. That can’t be good. He tried again . . . click, click, click. Hmmmm. Wait! Was that smoke coming from under the hood! Yikes! I saw Tom trying to blow flames out with his mouth and I knew this wasn’t good. (It’s okay to laugh at that visual, its funny now.) I went and got some water, but the water took its sweet time coming out of the faucet. Tom put out the fire. Poor guy has been waiting for the new iphone for so long. When we left WA in October the church gave us a parting gift for two new iphones. Tom waited because of the rumors of a new one on the horizon.

What to do?

Logic states we need a car and not just to get our new phones. Enterprise came to pick us up so we can rent a car for the weekend. Hey when your car goes on fire, it’s usually not a good sign that you will have a vehicle for the weekend. I called the mechanic and a tow truck. The car is in his hands now. Hopefully this will end well.

After picking up our rental we were on our way. Would it be that easy? No . . . why? Because we hit one of the biggest potholes I’ve seen. There was a car in front of us and we didn’t see it until we ran right over it. It cracked the hubcap. When renting a car I never, ever take the extra insurance. We have good car insurance and that usually covers your rental. I never had a problem with a rental car but somehow I knew this morning that it would be a good idea for the weekend to take the extra insurance. Good thing too because Enterprise will take of it and they gave us a new car to drive around. Thank you God for speaking to me.

iphone anyone?

We make it to the Apple store and the line wasn’t as bad as I had imagined. We had preordered the phones and our names were on a list. So now we have our phones – sweet! Tom has a blue cover and I got the red one. So now I’m off to play with my new phone.

If anyone out there has an iphone and has a favorite app or two, please let me know what it is and why you love it.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009