Saturday, March 17, 2007

I Think I Can…I Think I Can

Tonight I just finished teaching my first lesson in over two years. Since yesterday the feeling of being inadequate and fear of failure were at times overwhelming. I struggled to keep it together. I was afraid of letting down God, my husband and myself. What if I heard God wrong about teaching? What if He wasn’t telling me to do this?

I found myself fighting the compulsion to throw up at the thought of getting up in front of the class and opening my mouth. I don’t have a problem getting up in front of people and speaking. In fact I love a captive audience. I love to tell a story and if it’s funny that’s even better. Teaching…now that’s a different animal for me.

I kept reminding myself of the counting to five rule – allowing the fear to run free for only five seconds and then stop. It worked but I had to repeat it over and over again. My turn to teach was after the dinner break. These classes are intense. The schedule is Thursday night from 7:00 – 9:00pm. Friday and Saturday from 9:00 am until 9:00 pm with two hour lunch and dinner breaks. It makes for long days and keeping the attention of the students is not always easy.

I worked today, so I went home and changed my clothes. By the time I got to the church I felt better. We went out to dinner and were blessed by the generosity of a friend who paid – thanks Daddio. But as it got closer to my teaching time, I felt like that little engine that could – I think I can, I think I can. After prayer from the other teachers something happened inside of me. I was reminded by God that I just needed to be me, relax and enjoy myself. I did. I was surprised that I enjoyed myself and had fun. The anticipation was worse than actually doing it.

So thank you Lord for helping me tonight and stretching me. Thank you for the love, support and prayers of those around me. Thank You for showing me that yes I can…yes I can.

© Nadine Z. 2007

16 comments:

Shionge said...

Thank you for the birthday wishes Nadine :)

Yes, if you think you can - YOU CAN :D Thank you for sharing.

Yokoso~ said...

Haha Yes I totally know what that's like...I too have struggled with that dreaded anticipation that hangs on and drags you down till you enter the classroom to find a room of people just like me.
Thanks for the add!
Demara

KarenW said...

I'm glad you enjoyed it! Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."

palmtreefanatic said...

just goes to show you If you set your mind to it you can do anything!

sognatrice said...

Congratulations! You *know* you can!

Ashley said...

I am glad you overcame it. I have had the same feeling, and I get to the point where I ask, "God, are you sure yoou want me to do this?" and sometimes He has to give me a push before I see He does want me to do a particular thing, lol.

Amydeanne said...

I get that feeling when I do something new, or haven't done in a long time.. I'm glad you survivied it!!!

Joy said...

You are amazing! I wish I could've been there to listen, you captivating woman... :)*BIG HUG*

A Woman Who is: said...

I agree with Joy, wish I could have been there to be fed by the river of life that flows out of you sweet woman.

yerdoingitwrong said...

Yes you CAN!!!

Happy St. Paddy's girl. Hope you're having a green beer.

xo.

PromiseKeepersDaughter said...

Great lesson I loved the way you turned I think I can into yes I can. Cause through Christ's strengh all things are possible.

Louise said...

Great Post!!
I found that very encouraging, I have one such event coming up and I am praying and believing that God is my strength otherwise I don't know where I'd be!!
Thanks for sharing that!!!!!!

Trina said...

I am so glad that you ceased that experience, and were so successful. I would have had the same fear. I sing at weddings and funerals for our church alot, and I get so nervous. I wish I could just overcome my insecurities and enjoy the moment. Good for you!!

eph2810 said...

You know what my life-verse is
"I can do all things through him who strengthens me" ~ Phil 4:13

I remember the first time I lead a women's Bible study. I was so nervous, but He saw me through...

yours truly B said...

I am learning everyday that fear can make a mountain out of a bump and if I just close my eyes and breath and ask God to help me it tends to make me feel better.
I added a new page to The Prayer Journal and I was wondering if you would if I could well I would love to hear or read your testimony. I was wondering if I could use it to hopefully minister to others that feel like they have no where to turn. let me know if you would.
Billie

Damselfly said...

Way to go! It will be easier next time. And get easier after every time.