Before I start I just want to say don’t worry about any spoilers because I’m not going there. Tom and I went with some friends to see the third Bourne movie. It was very good. It was filled with lots of things blowing up, fights and car chases. There were a couple of cool one liners that you would expect from this movie franchise. Jason Bourne from the first movie on knew he was more than just an assassin. When he looked at himself he wasn’t comfortable with the skin he was in. He began his search to find out who he was and how he became the man he saw in the mirror.
When I was a little girl, I was confused about who I was. I kept searching to find the skin that suited me. I was many things to many people. I found that I didn’t like being picked on so I became a bully and picked on others. I found that I liked to play sports so I became a tomboy. I lacked confidence so I pretended I was very sure of myself. I found that I enjoyed playing with dolls and dancing ballet so I became very girlie. I was conflicted because I thought I had to be one way or another. I didn’t understand that I could be me and enjoy many things that don’t necessarily relate to each other. What others thought I should be or even my own thoughts were unrealistic. I found that expectation was my enemy. I didn’t know who I was but what I saw I didn’t like. I wasn’t the nicest person around unless you were my friend. If you weren’t then I apologize publicly to you now for the nasty things I said and did. I yearned to find out the answer to the same question Bourne asked, “Who am I?”
I didn’t get my answer until I met someone very special. He loved me just as I was. He didn’t ask me to change just to accept Him and I did. When I gave my life to Jesus, my life changed for the better. I started to discover who I was. I realized that God changed my heart but not my personality. My true personality was so different than what I pretended it to be. I wanted to be this tough girl from Brooklyn that no one messed with. Instead I was someone who found herself caring for people. One of the best things God did for me was Tom, a man who loves God, me and our children with his whole heart. He is one of the kindest men I know and has taught me so much by showing me what God see in me.
At 45 I’m finally starting to feel a bit more comfortable in my own skin. I’ve discovered that looking through God’s eyes at a person is the only way to look at them. Because of Him I’m free to just be me.
This leads me to this next item. Karolee from My Montana Moments gave me the Nice Matters Award. Here is what she had to say.
Nadine has been reading and commenting on my blog since last March. I think it's nice that she keeps coming back. She is also SO nice that I know she won't pass this award out to anyone else because she knows too many bloggers and doesn't want to leave any of them out. Nadine, you have my permission to give this award out to ALL of them. :)
So thank you Karolee for your kind words. It really means a lot to me. So I take her up on the offer and award this Nice Matters Award to EVERYONE who has ever commented on my blog and left a nice comment (which includes everyone because no one has left a bad one). Give yourself a hand and this award. Your comments have been encouraging and uplifting.
Have a nice weekend everyone.
© Nadine Z. 2007