This was a tough week for me at times. First off there were challenges at work. The part time lady got mad at the office manager and quit. The doctor made the office manager hire her back. Needless to say there was some tension when she came back. Now when this happened I just kept out of it. I found out later the part time lady, when in talks about coming back, tried to make it seem like I was adding work to her load. I have to tell you that is not the case. I only ask for help once in a while when things get backed up to keep the flow of patients moving smoothly. The office manager fortunately didn’t buy it.
I’ve had trouble with running toilets that won’t stop. I finally just shut it off. I knew enough to figure that out.
To add to the mix Tom has been away at Burning Man. He has gone away before for business and I miss him but it’s usually not horrible because we talk daily. This time around he was in the middle of the desert and communication was limited. I haven’t heard from him for the last two days. I know this sounds like I’m being a baby, but after all these years together I love and appreciate him. I enjoy being with him. My heart’s desire is to quit my job and travel with him, write and do full time ministry by his side. In all the years together we haven’t had this much limited communication before and my heart ached.
This morning I attended a funeral for a friend. A young man who went to work one morning and at 34 years old was discovered passed out at his desk. He leaves behind a lovely wife and four small children – ages six and under. The family didn’t invite us to a funeral instead they asked that we join them for a “Celebration of Life.” The service was exactly what Chris would have wanted, food, fellowship and a time of worship. He was a gifted worship leader and recorded some of his own music. As a matter of fact, he was putting the finishing touches on his latest CD. One day his wife will see him again for that is what we believe as Christians, but it won’t be tomorrow.
In light of all this I put my feelings of longing for Tom in perceptive. I will see him tomorrow night. I’ve missed him and longed for his embrace, but I don’t have to wait for eternity.
No matter how tough life may seem, keeping the right perception on the situation is helpful. My week was not as bad now as it seemed earlier. The longing in my heart is not as far away as it once seemed. I’m reminded of the words of my good friend, Jimmy when he lost his five year daughter to cancer. He told Tom, “I don’t know much, but this much I do know; 1 – God is good and 2 – He loves me.” These things keep life in perspective for me. As Tom would say, everything else starts at number 3.
© Nadine Z. 2007