As I sit here with Tom during his third of six treatments, I’m fully aware of how much chemo stinks (there are better words to describe it, but this a G-rated blog). I can’t believe we are going through this again. I hold firm to my faith that God will heal him because that’s the only way he will never have to do this again.
When Tom was first diagnosed with cancer, he gave me a bracelet that has the word, “Hope” on it. That one broke, but I have another one. I’ve worn it everyday since. My name means hope. I also hold on to the hope that God will bring healing to Tom.
Since we have been here, I’ve not been able to find work. I briefly worked as virtual assistant. The lady quit a couple of her jobs and didn’t need an assistant any more. I’ve not understood why I can’t find work. I know God knows we need the money, but the only blessing has been that I’ve been able to sit with Tom during treatment. The last time I had a full time job and I couldn’t always be with him. That broke my heart. We don’t really know too many people here, so it’s been a blessing to Tom for me to be with him.
My heart aches to watch him sit there with these drugs going through his veins. They make him sick and tired. I feel helpless. The only thing I can do is pray.
Tom always says to enjoy the good days, endure the bad and keep moving forward. So that is what we do. There are days he feels great and then all of sudden it hits him. Chemo stinks, but God is bigger than any cancer. Cancer begins with a little “c” and God always begins with a big “G.”
Thank you for all your prayers. It is greatly appreciated.
© Nadine Zawacki 2009