Where Did That Come From?

Sometimes things happen in life and I wonder why do I feel that way? The craziness with Tom’s tooth and the car trouble made me wonder why the dumb car annoyed me. I thought I was worried about the car breaking down while I was driving and getting into an accident. Tom pointed out that was not what was bothering me. He thought I was more concerned about get stuck on the side of the road. It got me to ponder if he was right.

I remembered a time when I was really young (maybe 7 or 8) and my parents took me on a pilgrimage. We traveled on a chartered bus. There were many chartered buses from different parts of the country. We were getting ready to leave when I noticed an old lady crying because she had missed her bus. My heart was broken for her. I got very upset thinking she didn’t have a way home. In fact, I was hysterical. My dad had to make sure she had a way home and got help for her before I would stop crying. I remember leaving on the bus and looking back at her to make sure she was okay.

It was an eye opening for me. I plan to have some friends pray with me for healing of this unfounded fear. It feels good for me to discover that about me so I can do something about it. I don't want things hindering me in life. I feel lighter already.

I’ll be absent from blogland for the rest of the week. I’ll be busy and will tell you all about it next week. Have a wonderful weekend.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

What a Week

Last week was nuts. On Wednesday Tom’s tooth hurt so much he went to the dentist. Understand this; Tom doesn’t like going to the doctors. He was in pain and called the doctor himself and made an appointment. His tooth was infected and needed to be pulled. He thought that sounded simple enough, but it didn’t turn out that way.

Cancer complicates things like having a tooth pulled. The dentist didn’t want to do it because of the chemo treatments. Instead he sent him to a dentist that was also a medical doctor. It sense to him so he went to the other dentist, but the dentist didn’t want to pull a tooth until he got authorization from Tom’s oncologist. He was late on Thursday and the tooth extraction was scheduled for Friday morning.

In the midst of this craziness on Thursday, our car started making a very nasty noise. We had to take it to the mechanic and didn’t feel it could wait until the next day. With all the driving around we had to do we thought it best to drop it off. We only have one car, so Tom spotted an Enterprise rent-a-car. We rented a car for a day and dropped the car off. This was a good thing because . . .

The next day the oncologist wouldn’t sign off on the tooth extraction until Tom had a blood test to check on his white blood count. Everything was fine and Tom’s tooth pulling was a go. The poor guy was in lots of pain. He has a high tolerance for pain, but this was getting to him.

Unfortunately during the tooth extraction the tooth broke. That’s right it broke. Now they have to rank even harder and cut and stitch. Finally the infected tooth was out and his face was swollen but he was on his way to recovery.

The car was fixed but none of this was inexpensive. It all could have been worse. I just felt so bad for Tom that with everything else he had to go through this was something he could have done without. He’s recuperating and slowly getting better.

Our Saturday was spent relaxing and being with each other while he healed up. We love quiet days like today, just enjoying each other.

I hope your week was much better and that this coming week will bring you all unexpected blessings.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Old Family Photos

One of the great things about Facebook, besides reconnecting with old friends, is photos. My husband's sister recently posted some old family photos (she was testing out her new scanner). I am so grateful because otherwise I wouldn't have them.

I thought I would share some of them here with you all.

Doesn't Tom look angelic in this picture? Maybe it was a sign of things to come.
My mom made my dress. I loved that dress back then. How 70's do we look?
This is Tom's family before his sister was born. He doesn't remember where this was taken.
Tom's Uncle Al, his grandma and mom.
Tom wanted to know if could have unbuttoned another button?
Tom loves this picture of me. Boy I was really young.
Isn't he so cute? This photo makes me smile.
I love this picture of Tom's mom. I still miss her. She passed away at 49.
This is me hamming it up with Tom's Uncle Al.
Tom with his brothers - Robert, Rick and Tom
© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Happy Birthday Tom

Today is Tom’s Birthday.

Every year I post about his birthday and how much I love him. Every year on his birthday, I make a special meal (this year it’s eggplant parmesan) and bake his favorite cake (vanilla with pudding and vanilla icing).

Anyone who knows me, knows how I feel about Tom. I think it’s important to tell the people you love that you love them. I try to show or tell Tom how much I love him every day. On his birthday, I try to kick it up a notch.

Tom, I appreciate you. I appreciate the man of God that you are. I love the way that you love me. I love your smile – it lights up my world. Your arms can both comfort me and make me feel safe. I love how you know what I’m thinking without saying a word.

I’m grateful that our adult children still look to you for wisdom. You’ve been a wonderful dad.

I watched for the last 31 years your ability to be a good and faithful friend, not only to me but to so many others. I love your zeal for helping others reach their destines.

You’re a good man and I thank God for picking you for me. You are my better half. Just in case you have any doubt in your mind – I love you. Happy Birthday, babe.

Forever Yours,
Nadine

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Dating Anniversary

The nice thing about being together for thirty one years is that you know each other very well. Today, Tom and I celebrate the day we first started dating. I was only sixteen years old and he was eighteen. We celebrate this anniversary every year. It’s dear to us because we were together for three and half years before getting married. I guess we are hopeless romantics.

After so many years together, I can almost read Tom’s mind. It amazes him whenever it happens and vice versa. That is what years of being together does to you. It makes you comfortable with one another. A look or a smile communicates so much without a word being spoken.

Tom is my best friend. I love him dearly. Our love has carried us through and will continue to bring us closer as walk through the ups and downs of life. Thank you handsome for loving me for the past thirty one years.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

This is why I love him. Check out Tom's blog today. Click here

Hope

As I sit here with Tom during his third of six treatments, I’m fully aware of how much chemo stinks (there are better words to describe it, but this a G-rated blog). I can’t believe we are going through this again. I hold firm to my faith that God will heal him because that’s the only way he will never have to do this again.

When Tom was first diagnosed with cancer, he gave me a bracelet that has the word, “Hope” on it. That one broke, but I have another one. I’ve worn it everyday since. My name means hope. I also hold on to the hope that God will bring healing to Tom.

Since we have been here, I’ve not been able to find work. I briefly worked as virtual assistant. The lady quit a couple of her jobs and didn’t need an assistant any more. I’ve not understood why I can’t find work. I know God knows we need the money, but the only blessing has been that I’ve been able to sit with Tom during treatment. The last time I had a full time job and I couldn’t always be with him. That broke my heart. We don’t really know too many people here, so it’s been a blessing to Tom for me to be with him.

My heart aches to watch him sit there with these drugs going through his veins. They make him sick and tired. I feel helpless. The only thing I can do is pray.

Tom always says to enjoy the good days, endure the bad and keep moving forward. So that is what we do. There are days he feels great and then all of sudden it hits him. Chemo stinks, but God is bigger than any cancer. Cancer begins with a little “c” and God always begins with a big “G.”

Thank you for all your prayers. It is greatly appreciated.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Some Things Never Change

I have two friends from childhood. One (Juliana) moved next door when I was seven and she was five. The other (Aminie) moved down the street when I was nine and she was eight. I can’t believe I have friends that I’ve known for 40 years. I feel old.

Recently, I tried to get in touch with Aminie but the contact number and email I had changed. Here’s the beauty of Facebook. I typed in her name and she had a Facebook account. I sent her a message and she sent me her new number.

We talked on the phone and it was as if no time passed between us. That’s what I love about old friends (not friends that are old – I’m just clarifying my statement) – some things never change. You know each other’s history. You have love and friendship that has stood the test of time. You speak each others language. You can catch up in nothing flat. I can’t remember the last time we spoke, but it felt like yesterday.

I’ve found for me that’s what its like with my relationship with God. I wish I could say that I’m really good to keep up all the time. There are times when life is busy and I don’t speak to Him for an extended period time. What I’m talking about is quality time with Him. Not a day goes by that I don’t offer prayers up to Him. He loves me. He knows my history. Our relationship has stood the test of time. He speaks my language. I can catch up in nothing flat. I love that the most about Him.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Thank You

Thank you to Debz for the following award. You’re a sweetheart. Go visit Debz, she has a wonderful blog and is chronicling the journey of adopting a baby from China.

Coffee Snob

This morning I stopped in Starbucks to buy a pound of coffee. It’s actually cheaper that way believe it or not. The lady asked if I wanted her to grind the beans. I looked at her as if she just insulted my mother. No thank you, I rather do that myself as I use it. She then told me that was the best way (as if I didn’t know). Actually she was very nice but being nice is not funny.

I grew up in NYC as you all know and we moved to West Virginia for eight years. Back in those days I bought Maxwell House and kept my can in the freezer to keep it fresh. Please don’t think ill of me. I was naïve.

When we moved to Washington (the Starbucks state) it quickly dawned on us that we were not in Kansas anymore. We were invited to someone’s house for dinner and afterwards they asked if we would like some coffee. They proceeded to take out a grinder and grind fresh coffee beans.

So when in Rome…we bought a coffee grinder and tried to blend in with the other coffee snobs we grew to love. My son worked for Starbucks so I quickly stopped putting my coffee beans in the freezer.

I don’t know when it happened, but soon we found ourselves being coffee snobs. We loved lattes, espresso and good coffee. No longer did we buy already ground coffee or get coffee at McDonalds. The transformation to office coffee snobs is complete.

It got me to thinking. What else in my life am I snob about? What things I can’t do without?

I guess you can say I’m a God snob. Now that I have Him in my life, I can’t go back. I need to have my daily dose. When I don’t, I’m cranky. I’m not focused and I feel a bit lost. During this time in our lives, if I wasn't a God snob, I would be in serious trouble.

So what are you a snob about?

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Photo from Imaginechef.com