Friday, June 05, 2015

The Five Love Languages

Gary Chapman wrote a book called “The Five Love Languages.” They are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, Physical Touch. I think there should be a sixth one – food.

My husband preached a sermon a few weeks back about this and you can listen to it here (just click on the title 5 Love Languages). You can listen to the message and also there is a downloadable test that you can take.

I took the test many years ago and always knew that Acts of Service was my love language. So I tend to show love through Acts of Service rather than in others ways. Learning the love language of those close to me was helpful because then I could express love in their language. It works so much better that way. I took the test again that Sunday and I was surprised that Words of Affirmation was my lowest score (I scored a one). It was by far the least important to me. For a writer, words not having that much meaning to me personally is funny.

I guess it goes back to the fact that I’ve had many nice words said to me in the past. The people who said them believed they were being sincere, but it turned out they would do the opposite of their words. For example, in the past when I heard someone say they had my back, I learned that it was wise to duck.

Words are important whether it's your love language or not. What you say, how you say it and to whom you say it carries a lot of weight. If you are a person of influence, what you say can sway others in ways you may not be able to see. When groups of people with the same mindset come together (good or bad) there is power in the momentum of their beliefs.

I learned a long time ago, that I try not to say anything about someone that I’m not willing to say to them in love. The in love part is the most important. Am I perfect at this? – not by a long shot. My mom taught me at a young age, if I've got nothing nice to say, say nothing at all. 

When it comes to words spoken about me, well my mindset is such that I don’t let it bother me. I like me. I’m funny, I can cook and I’m as loyal a friend as they come. I just don’t like it if I hear someone speaking ill about someone I love greatly. It’s a battle to keep the Brooklyn from coming out in full force. I’m working on it.

So what’s your love language? Were you surprised by the outcome?

© Nadine Zawacki 2015

1 comment:

Donna said...

The Five Love Languages is one of my favorite topics. Thanks, Nadine. Of course, my primary love language is words of affirmation. I had to learn a second language because my husband's is like yours: acts of service. Sometimes it's what you did not receive in your childhood, which is true for me. I can say wonderful things about you that are all true, but it's hard to do an "act of service" for you from so many miles away. God bless you and Tom today and every day. Love, Donna