Sunday, October 15, 2006

Making Lemonade

I’m sure you’re all familiar with the expression, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” Who said that? I think we should form a posse and hunt down that guy. I know what it means and so does everyone else, but if you have a bunch of lemons in your hands, the last thing you want to is squeeze them into juice and add sugar to it so it’s easier to swallow. I mean you still lemons but now you have all that stuff oozing out of it.

This got me to thinking about other people we should hunt down. How about the guy who invited high heeled pointed shoes. Really, how is a normal foot supposed to squeeze itself into that? Nobody’s foot is formed that way. If you have big feet it only makes it look bigger.

How about the person who says to you (when you’re 9 months pregnant), “So when are you going to have that baby?” My response wanted to be, “I don’t know? I thought I’ll carry it around for another couple of months. I really don’t miss seeing my ankles and I’m getting use to going to bathroom every hour. I much rather keep everyone guessing about how large I can actually become without exploding.”

The next one on the list is the guy (you noticed, I haven’t blamed any women for any of these things) who came up with spandex. Spandex is a material that is not user friendly. It should come with a warning label to look carefully in the mirror before purchasing. I think that sales people have a responsibility to decency to not allow some people to buy those things. Along the lines of spandex is the bikini. Bikinis should have an age limit. Every department store in America should have bikini police who will arrest you if you try to buy one and you shouldn’t.

But there are people out there who should get kudos. Like the person who thought of putting wine and cheese together or the gal who invited the chocolate truffle. The automobile was a good idea. Imagine still having to walk everywhere or riding a horse? I’ve ridden horses and they are big and poop big poop. The streets would be disgusting. I give kudos the person who invited the computer. It’s a lot easier to type than the old fashion typewriter – spell check is one of my favorites. I have a Tempur-Pedic bed and boy is it wonderful. Major kudos for that invention.

I’m sure all of you can look at life and see the things you appreciate about it and the things you don’t. All in all remember that life is interesting because of the good and the annoying. If everything was all good, I would have had nothing to write about.

© Nadine Z.

1 comment:

skidmarksontheside said...

and if all of us were the same... most of us wouldn't be necessary...