Monday, January 28, 2013

I Stand at the Door

Last night I had a vivid dream. I was in a deep sleep, but I heard someone knocking at my front door. I heard it so clearly that it woke me up. That was the whole dream. I woke up scared that someone was at the door. When I realized I was dreaming, I went back to sleep. When I got up this morning I told my resident dream interpreter what had happened. Tom’s first thought was, Revelation 3:20 - Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.

I pondered that for several hours knowing that God wanted to talk to me. He wanted me to invite Him in. He went to great lengths to get my attention. I then had to be honest with myself – I had shut Him out. My heart grieved. When did this happen?

It happened very slowly over many, many years. It started with a hurt and a disappointment to unanswered prayer. He didn’t answer my prayer the way I thought He should. I started to blame Him without really saying it out loud. Here’s the thing I didn’t have to say it out loud. I said it within my heart and my heart grew harder.

He didn’t shut me out. In my hardness of heart, I didn’t totally lock Him out. He continued to use me to pray for people and minister to them even though I struggled inwardly. I don’t why He continued to allow me to love on people but He did. I just couldn’t love me.

Today is a new day. Today I admitted to myself what I’ve done. I admitted it to Him. He loves me unconditionally. I never realized how much until He knocked so loudly I couldn’t ignore Him anymore.

© Nadine Zawacki 2013


Christina said...

That is an amazing dream. Awesome post you wrote about it too! Are you still cooking, I loved your cooking blog!

Dawn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nadine said...

Hi Christina. Thank you. I haven't done a cooking video in a while but I do plan to continue. I'm glad you're enjoying it.

Susan said...

Thanks for sharing this. We have to constantly be on guard that our heart is right with God.

Donna said...

Hi Nadine,

So glad you opened the door when God knocked. He has so much love to pour into your heart. You have poured out so much love to others. Time for soaking up His presence and everlasting love for you too.
Love and miss both of you. I just watched some of your cooking show again. Keep up the Pinch of this and a Dash of that. <3 it.

Shionge said...

Hey Nadine,

Glad to see you blogging again...hope you are fine and well :D