Do you ever find that at times you are in difficult circumstances and you cry out and you cry out (sometimes literally) and feel your prayers hit a brick wall? Thump! Splat! Is it that God isn’t listening or is it that we aren’t listening? I face a difficult circumstance at the moment but it’s not the most difficult circumstance I face (Tom’s health situation still wins out) - it’s my job.
I work in an environment that at the moment I find hostile. I mean to the naked eye you wouldn’t think it’s a hostile environment. It appears that all who work there are nice and courteous, but as you know appearances can be deceiving. I find it difficult to work with people I can’t trust, so I cry out. I cry out and yet there is that brick wall. I have to ask myself why? Is God so mean and uncaring that He doesn’t see my pain? I don’t think so. My God loves me and He is good, these are things I know in my heart to be true. So I believe God is listening to my prayers because He cares for me. Then it must be me. I’m not listening to Him. If I was listening to Him I would try to find out why I’m in the circumstance that I’m in. Is there something He wants me to learn while I’m here (boy am I slow if that’s the case)? Is there something I have not yet accomplished that He wants me to? Maybe I’m in this place because there are lessons I need to learn about myself that will help shape me and strengthen me for what lies ahead.
I may not be the sharpest knife in the draw, but I know I want to know the answers to these questions so that I can move on. So in the future I’ll have to remind myself when my circumstances are difficult that I need to listen more carefully to Him who loves me and hear what He’s trying to say.
© Nadine Z. 2006