Sunday, June 25, 2006

Difficult Circumstances

Do you ever find that at times you are in difficult circumstances and you cry out and you cry out (sometimes literally) and feel your prayers hit a brick wall? Thump! Splat! Is it that God isn’t listening or is it that we aren’t listening? I face a difficult circumstance at the moment but it’s not the most difficult circumstance I face (Tom’s health situation still wins out) - it’s my job.

I work in an environment that at the moment I find hostile. I mean to the naked eye you wouldn’t think it’s a hostile environment. It appears that all who work there are nice and courteous, but as you know appearances can be deceiving. I find it difficult to work with people I can’t trust, so I cry out. I cry out and yet there is that brick wall. I have to ask myself why? Is God so mean and uncaring that He doesn’t see my pain? I don’t think so. My God loves me and He is good, these are things I know in my heart to be true. So I believe God is listening to my prayers because He cares for me. Then it must be me. I’m not listening to Him. If I was listening to Him I would try to find out why I’m in the circumstance that I’m in. Is there something He wants me to learn while I’m here (boy am I slow if that’s the case)? Is there something I have not yet accomplished that He wants me to? Maybe I’m in this place because there are lessons I need to learn about myself that will help shape me and strengthen me for what lies ahead.

I may not be the sharpest knife in the draw, but I know I want to know the answers to these questions so that I can move on. So in the future I’ll have to remind myself when my circumstances are difficult that I need to listen more carefully to Him who loves me and hear what He’s trying to say.

© Nadine Z. 2006

2 comments:

Don C. said...

Hang in there Sis! We love ya!

rochelle said...

Hiya Nadine ... set this up today just to respond to you! ha.
Here's the thing, my work environment is hostile at times as well. (well, actually I think it's probably always hostile to some extent ... I just don't always FEEL it the way I do other times!) Anyway, there have been many many many small lessons I've learned for ME, and then, my lessons aside, the thing God is doing here at my work is that people here see me screw up, and try again, they see me respond as best I can to their issues and orneriness and I really think it's just a living witness thing even if the people around you don't act like they see anything positive in you at all. They ARE seeing something, and God will either use it in THEM to bless them or to work out their kinks and bless them/give them a choice to grow there. Above all though, biggest lesson I've had to learn is that when people are ornery, it is not my problem, I can't make them happy if they want to be unhappy, and all I can do is do my best for HIM!!! That is hard for me on days when other people are really trying hard at trying to make their happiness or satisfaction or performance MY problem, but at the end of the day I can sort the things that are still stuck in me ... like I sort my socks "this is YOUR sock, this is mine, this is YOUR sock, THIS is mine, this is ...? who's is this one? OH, THIS IS YOUR SOCK ... and THIS is mine!" (i.e. that was their issue this is mine, that was their thing to deal with, not mine. etc ...) Don't know if that helps or if just rambling down a path that leads not at all to a destination of any benefit in your situation! OH well. I'll be praying for your situation anyway!