I was talking to friend on the phone the other day who made a comment about how she’s been enjoying reading my blog entries and Tom’s. She said how different they both are and they really reflect our personalities. I agreed. Tom and I are different even though we have been together for nearly 29 years and married for 25. The love we share gets deeper as the years go by. This doesn’t mean we don’t fight, but it gets less and less each year. How can two people who love each other so much be so different?
It got me to thinking. My friends that are close to me have so much in common with me. Why is that? Because in friendships we want to spend time with people that we enjoy their company and they enjoy ours. They enjoy doing some of the same things we do, thus the basis for friendship. Similar interests, similar tastes. Friends are great. It’s fun to do and spend time with people that laugh at your jokes and enjoy the same movies you do.
In marital relationships this seems to be different. Most happy couples I know have some lots of things that make them very different. In the movie Jerry Maguire, Tom Cruise’s character states to the woman he loves, “You complete me.” How true is that? In my case, it’s very true. Tom completes me. There are areas in my life that I needed to grow in. I’ve become more serious about my walk with God in part because of him. He needed to lighten up (at 18 he felt life was over because he didn’t have all together – I love you honey) and laugh more. He’s gotten funnier and I’ve gotten more mature. It’s been great. The sparks that ignite our passions do so because of our differences. We do have many things in common and share some of the same hopes and dreams. It’s the differences that keep life interesting.
So the next time your spouse bugs you because of his/her difference, stop and embrace that difference because it’s what attracted you to them in the first place. Besides as a friend once said, “If you agreed all the time, then one of you would be unnecessary.”
© Nadine Z.