2008 - A Year in Review

This past year had its ups and downs. I worked full time, was a pastor’s wife and worked on finalizing my book with an editor. I celebrated family birthdays, and anniversaries (27 years married, 30 years together). Then things changed.

Tom got an offer for a job in Dallas and it was as if someone hit the fast forward button on my life. I was finishing up my book and working full time. We had to downsize, and prep our house for sale. It sold and we had to pack and move. Saying goodbye to people we loved in Washington wasn’t easy. We knew it was a God thing and the new pastors would be a blessing to the people.

We moved and Tom started his new job. We settled into our apartment and I continued to search for a job. A routine check up for Tom turned out to be anything but routine. Cancer came back and the liaison was forty percent larger than the last one. Chemo started on December 29th.

The day chemo started was long. Tom was very fatigued and had a headache. The next day he had to go back for a Neulasta shot to help his white blood count. That medicine can have its own side effects, but after recovering from some fatigued he actually went to work in the afternoon for several hours. It did tire him out but falls under the column of a good day. Today was not a good day. He’s having pain, nausea and fatigue.

Next year starts off with many months of chemo. I know that God loves us. I know that God is good and everything else starts after that. I know that we will enjoy the good days, endure the bad days and through it all keep moving forward. I know that I love Tom with my whole heart. I know that I will eventually get a job. I know that we will come through this storm. I know because God has gotten us through this before. I’m still holding on to hope. I’m grateful and know that Tom and I are loved. I know there are so many people praying for healing and praying for us through this time. I ask that you continue. It’s appreciated and does make a difference.

Tomorrow is the start of 2009 and I have no idea what the year will bring. I don’t know what ups and downs I will face. I know that I’m moving forward. I’m standing by Tom’s side and together we will continue on the path God has for us.

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

And The Winners Are . . .

I want to thank everyone for participating in the Prisoner of Circumstance giveaway. It has been fun to track all the comments, the blog posts, the fans and the followers. I appreciate each and everyone one of you. What a blessing to know that so many people were so excited and supportive. It's been a long process, but I'm so grateful it's a done. Some of you have purchased books already and I want to thank you. I hope you enjoy it.

I used Random.org to pick the winners. The two winners from blogland (those who commented, followed or posted) are:

Blue Seehorse and Rhoda@Southern Hospitality.

The winner from the Fan page on Facebook is:

Dawn Writes

Thank you all so much for your support. You have no idea how much this has blessed me at this time.

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

Prisoner of Circumstance Giveaway

The moment you all have been waiting for is finally here. Prisoner of Circumstance, my first novel, is available! You can purchase a copy right now on Amazon.com. To celebrate the release I’m giving away not one, not two but three copies of the book! You have four chances to win…

1. Leave a comment, any comment on this post.

2. Become a fan of “Nadine” on Facebook. Click here to enter.

3. Post about my giveaway on your blog, and comment here letting me know or…

4. Become a follower of my blog (see side bar)

Multiply your chances of winning by doing all four!

I want to thank all of you for your love and support through the years. I will announce the winners next Tuesday, December 3oth.

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

Coming Soon

I’ve finally got my author proof in the mail and it’s only a matter of time before it will be available on Amazon.com. I’m told it will take one to two weeks for the page to be built. I will let you all know by having a giveaway of my first novel. Stay tuned for your chance to win Prisoner of Circumstance.

© Nadine Zawacki

A Little Ray

I want to thank everyone for their expressions of love, encouragement and prayers. I want you all to know that it is appreciated. Life has been tough lately with the news of cancer returning. The first time around the fear of the unknown made life uncertain. Now we know what to expect with the chemo treatments and life isn’t any easier.

I know how much we are loved. I can feel the prayer support, but I still feel unsettled. A week ago my biggest aggravation was the publishers of my book not delivering the timelines they originally told me. Today, I’m finding it hard to even care about it. Tom on the other hand asked me to call and find out what the status was. So I called and they mailed my book and it was delivered on Tuesday to Washington. I had told them I moved, but somehow that information wasn’t placed in my file. It will get here eventually and that’s what matters. Tom still wants me to do all that I planned regarding the release. He’s excited for the both of us. My next post will be about the giveaway.

Life is nuts but in the midst of craziness sometimes a little ray of sunshine enters. In the mail came a couple of packages from dear friends. Inside one was a portable DVD player. The other had the first season of First Edition. They sent that to us so Tom would have something to watch during chemo. When I saw what it was I cried. I cried because of the love expressed in their thoughtfulness. From across the miles they reached out and blessed us beyond measure. Thank you so very much for your kindness Ty and Jen.

I will come around and visit you all again. Thank you again for your expressions of love and support.

Blessings,
Nadine

© 2008

Crushed, But Not Destroyed

The last few days have been very difficult for Tom and I. He had his annual PET Scan last Friday. We went to the doctor’s for results today. It was bad news. The lymphoma returned near the last occurrence in his stomach area. There was only one lesion spotted, which is better than having multiple ones. He has to go through chemo again.

I make no secret of my love for Tom. I adore him for so many reasons. Chemo is difficult. The emotional and especially the physical strain can wear you out. The last time, Tom would often say, “Let’s enjoy the good days, endure the bad and regardless press forward.” You see what a wise man I’m married to. I know that many of you will pray and so I thank you ahead of time for those prayers.

I was reminded earlier in the day by the Lord of this scripture from 2 Corinthians 4:7-10:

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

Will You Marry Me?

I’ve blogged about this before, but I wanted to give more detail today. “Will you marry me?” That’s a question lots of young women want to hear. I didn’t think I would hear it at sixteen.

It all started with Tom telling me he loved after only about a month of being together. The conversations that follow would sound like this:

Tom: “I love you.”
Me: “I like you very much.”

I didn’t want to say, “I love you” if I wasn’t sure, right? What did I know about love, I was only sixteen. After I did tell him I loved him, our conversations that follow would sound like this:

Tom: “I love Nadine. Will you marry me?”
Me: “I love you too, but no.”

I wasn’t trying to be cruel or lead him on or make him chase after me. I loved him, but marriage was a big step. After I turned seventeen that question got asked more frequently (daily to be exact). One day he asked and I looked into those beautiful brown eyes and knew, yes I wanted to marry him.

At first he thought I was putting him on, but when he realized I meant it, we hugged and kissed. Now he had to ask DADDY. That part wasn’t easy. You see Tom wanted to give me the ring for my eighteenth birthday and I just graduated high school. My dad eventually gave in, but agreed to an engagement in December. That was twenty nine years ago today.

I had picked out the ring I wanted. It had the cutest little diamond in it. Tom didn’t know anything about diamonds and so my sister volunteered to take him to the diamond district in the city. Boy did she get a great deal on my ring and a bigger diamond than I was expecting. I didn’t get to see the ring until the night of the engagement party.

We slipped away to another room. Tom got down on his knee. He took my hand and asked me the question he’d asked a million times before, “Will you marry me?” Without hesitation I said, “Yes.” He took out this clear jewelry box and opened it up and slipped the ring on my finger. I had tears in my eyes. I knew at that moment no matter what life would bring us; this man would love me and honor me through it all. I was right. God gave me a precious gift that day which lead to two other precious gifts (Lisa & Tommy). You’re a good man Tom, a loving husband and father and a great friend not only to me but to so many others.

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

The picture above of Tom is when he was eighteen. The year we started dating.

What’s Your Passion?

I went on a job interview this past week. It was interesting. I probably could have had the job, except I couldn’t give the answers she was looking for to these questions: “Are you passionate about being a switchboard operator? Is this something you can make your career?” So many things pass through my head at that point. Things like, “Are you serious? I’m 47 years old and I have lots of passions, none of them have to do with answering the phone for eight hours a day.” But those words didn’t come out of my mouth.

Instead, I said, “Excuse me?” In which she repeated, “I’m looking for someone who will be passionate about this job. Someone with experience and will love what they do and make it their career.” When she said the word “passionate” she made two fists to emphasize the word with a great deal of passion in her voice. Showing great restraint by not laughing, I replied, “Well, I can’t say I have “passion” to answer phones but I would do a good job.”

She looked disappointed. Needless to say I didn’t take the job. This was one intense individual. If she was that intense during the interview, what type of boss would she have been? If I got sick, would I be expected to come in anyway? I’ve worked for intense people who depended too much on what I do. I tell you what, it’s not worth it. I hated the job. I cried on the way to work. I dreaded Mondays because the vicious cycle would start all over again.

The other thing about this job that made me a bit uncomfortable was the big sign before entering that said, “No hand guns or weapons of any kind are allowed on these premises.” You also had to be buzzed into the building. I took note of that and said it was best I look elsewhere.

I have lots of passion for many things, unfortunately being a switchboard operator in a bad part of town is not among my list.

I’m passionate about God, about my husband and kids. I’m passionate about writing. I’m passionate about helping people. I can even be passionate about a good meal and a nice Merlot. I understand that some people are passionate about their jobs; I’ve only had only one I felt that way about. The one exception would be when I took care of my kids when they were little and I didn't work outside the home. That I had passion for that in a big way. Other than that for me a job is a job. It’s a way to pay the bills.

So tell me; Are you passionate about your job? What are you passionate about?

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

Christmas Movies

I was listening to the radio today and they posed the question, “What is your Top Ten favorite Christmas Movies?” I came home and started listening to Martina McBride’s White Christmas CD. I would like to take this opportunity to thank Dawn Writes. She had a giveaway and I won. Martina has a lovely voice and sings many of my favorites. But I digress because this is about Christmas movies.

There are many movies out there, but I’ll list my Top Five. Keep in mind with the exception of The Nativity, most Christmas movies deal with the theme of Christmas or the holiday of Christmas rather than the birth of Jesus. I’ve never seen The Nativity, but I hear it was fabulous, so I’ll add that as the Number One Christmas movie on my list, especially since it got the whole reason for the season aspect correct. If you would like to play along either leave a comment with your favorites or post and let me know. Here are my other four in no particular order:

The Bishop’s Wife. Two words – Cary Grant. I don’t need to say more, but this is much better than the remake with Whitney Houston because of Cary Grant. I’m a big fan if you haven’t guessed. In an off way Cary Grant helps the Bishop and his wife realize what is most important to them – each other.

It’s a Wonderful Life. Classic black and white (no colorized versions please) story of the appreciation of life and the difference one person makes in the lives of many and how those people pull together to show their love.

Miracle on 34th Street. I’m talking about the classic black version with Natalie Wood. Who doesn’t fall in love with Natalie Wood as a little girl who doesn’t believe in Santa and her journey to believing?

Scrooged. Even though this one is in color, it does have Bill Murray. Totally off beat story of the classic A Christmas Carol. Bill Murray just makes me laugh. I love watching the transformation of Scrooge.

So what are some o your favorites to watch? Let me know.

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

Mildly Disappointed

I want to thank everyone for their kind words of support and love on the passing of my dear friend. Your kindness was so appreciated. I felt the love and the prayers. Thank you.

In light of my friend’s passing, life’s little disappointments really have been put in perspective. I still feel a bit disappointed but not as much as I would have a week ago.

When I spoke to the people at BookSurge in November, I was supposed to get my actual book this week. I called today and someone there dropped the ball or told me the wrong information. They are expediting the process but now I won’t get the final copy until next week. This means once I've approved it, it will take another five to ten days for it to be launched on Amazon. I know that doesn’t sound bad, but if I didn’t ask for this rush, it wouldn’t be ready for Christmas. I’m still not sure if it will be. As soon as I know, I’ll let pass on the information.

The worst part is that my personal copies that I ordered won’t be ready for two to three weeks, which means I won’t have them by Christmas. So, I’m disappointed. I was assured that won’t be the case for those who order directly from Amazon when the book becomes available. It’s the regular shipping schedules. Funny, I have to wait longer to get my own books.

I’ve waited a long time for this and it’s just around the corner (but not as close I had thought). It’s really okay because in the scope of life’s bigger issues this is a small annoyance.

© Nadine Zawacki 2008