What's In a Name?

I've been exploring the job market for about two months now. I've sent my resume to any job I looked remotely qualified for. I've had no luck. I tried not to take this personally. I'm well qualified and have some mad skills. I even have a killer letter of recommendation from my former employer.

Now I'm exploring the work from home part of the universe. I have a good friend, who now resides in Dallas. She's been working from home for many years. She has contacts and has helped me with this process. I'm still looking for a nine to five gig, but in the meantime, this couldn't hurt.

What I've found interesting in looking for work is the titles that they give for certain jobs. Director of First Impressions (formerly known as Receptionist) is a new title I've come across. Secretaries seem to morph into Administrative Assistants. Let's not forget Domestic Engineer known as a housewife or homemaker. When I was taking care of my children and not working outside the home, I felt changing my job title to Domestic Engineer was ridiculous. I didn't feel the need to apologize for what I did. I may not have gotten a salary, but my work was important. What I did mattered and I did it the best that I knew how.

I'm finding that I'm resenting being called a Director of First Impressions. Give me a break. What is wrong with being called a Receptionist? Does that title demean the job? I don't think so. Enough of this political correctness.

It doesn't matter what I call myself. I'm not defined by the job I do. I'm defined as who I am as a person. I've always believed that not everyone will love me (I know that's hard to believe for those of you who know me), but I'm okay with that. Not everyone can be your best friend. That's okay also. Kindness towards others and caring for them doesn't mean they have to be in your inner circle.

So what's in a name? Really, for me not much. I don't need a title to feel important. A wise man I know once said, "If you have a title then you feel entitled to something."

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

All I Wanted Was My TX Driver's License

Whenever you move into a new state, one of the first things you want to do is get a new driver's license. This has been one of those things I wanted to get done sooner than later. In order to get one, you first have to register your car and show proof of registration. Okay, that's a bit different, but doable.

Before I can get my car registered, I have to get it inspected. Washington state didn't have any vehicle registration laws. When I lived in NY and WV they did, so this was understandable.

Today, I attempted to get the car inspected. The key word is "attempted." I couldn't. I needed to have a Texas auto insurance carrier. My insurance was with a local Washington agent. Okay. I go home and make phone calls. Lots and lots of phone calls. I was beginning to think I couldn't afford to have a car. I finally settled on State Farm because they had the best rate, sorry Progressive (who by the way was $180 more than State Farm). So much for fancy commercials.

The insurance lady was very nice and I had everything I needed within the hour. I got my car insured and then inspected. Tomorrow it's off to the court house to get it registered. Which is another story.

Now, after all that is done, I will be able to bring my ID (passport is the best), social security card (not just the number), my $24.00, pass a vision exam and I will be official. I will have my Texas driver's license.

So what's the story about your state? Is it easy or hard? Don't be shy, share.

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

Jake – Part III

When Jennifer got home from work the kids were all at the dining room table doing their homework. A smile crossed her face as she looked upon them. What a blessed woman she was to have such good kids. They looked up and saw their mother and came running towards her. All except Jake. He waited until his younger siblings were done with their hugs.

“Hi, ma. I started dinner. I put that chicken in the oven for you.”

Jennifer walked over to Jake and gave him a squeeze. “Jake, you’re just too good to me. Why don’t you all sit down, I have something to tell you.” They all sat and looked at her. She took a deep breath. She didn’t know how to put this in words. “Well, you all know Dr. Russ . . . well . . . you see, he’s my boss, but has also been my friend these past few years.” She looked at their blank faces and decided she should just come out with it. “Dr. Russ asked me to join him for dinner tonight. I accepted. He would like to get to know me on a more personal level.”

“Personal level? What does that mean?” asked Cindy.

“He wants mommy to be his girlfriend, stupid.” answered Jimmy.

“Jimmy, no name calling.”

“I’m sorry, Cindy.” Jimmy said sheepishly.

“Yes, Dr. Russ wants to start dating mommy. I don’t know where this will lead. Right now it’s just dinner. Are you all okay with that?”

“I like Dr. Russ. Does that mean you’re going to marry him?” Cindy said as Jimmy rolled his eyes.

“No, Cindy. It’s just dinner. I’m going to check on dinner for you guys. Who’s turn is it to set the table?”

With a total lack of enthusiasm, Jimmy answered, “My turn.”

Jennifer sat with the children as they ate and then went upstairs to change. The doorbell rang and she wasn’t quite ready so she yelled down the stairs, “Jake, get that please.”

Jake answered the door. There in front of him stood Dr. Russ. He had a big toothy grin and a large bouquet of red roses in his hand.

“Good evening, Jake.” Jake just looked at him without saying a word. “May I come in?” Jake wanted to slam the door in his face, but he fought the urge to do so. Jake motioned for him to enter. “I guess your mom’s not ready yet?” Still no words from Jake. “Do you mind if I sit down and wait?” Jake shrugged his shoulders.

“Why do you want to date my mom?” Jake asked almost accusingly.

“Well, Jake, I like her very much.”

Glaring, Jake said, “You better not hurt her or else you’ll answer to me! I’m the man of this house.”

“Jake, I like your mom very much. I had great respect for your father. I wouldn’t hurt her for anything in the world. I promise you.”

“I guess, we’ll see how it plays out.”

“Jake, I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

“I’m sorry for disrespecting you. I should have asked your permission to date your mom. I mean you are the man of the house.”

Jake thought that over and liked the idea very much. “I guess it’s okay with me.”

“Thank you, Jake. I appreciate it. What time would you like me to have her home?”

“You’re asking me?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I don’t know. Mom doesn’t have a curfew.”

“Well, then I make sure it won’t be too late then.”

Jake, thought that maybe he was wrong about Dr. Russ. Maybe he deserved a fair shake, but he wasn’t about to make any hasty judgments.

I hope you all enjoyed my short story on Jake. It was fun to explore my creative juices on a story that had nothing to do with my current book.

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

I Surrender

So what happens when you wake up in the wee hours of the morning and can’t sleep? Well, in my case you get up, pray . . . and then you blog.

I woke up around one o’clock. I could toss and turn, get up and watch TV or pray. I felt like I needed to pray. It was good a choice. Life had been on fast forward now for months. We have been so busy with getting the house ready for sale, selling the house, moving, working on the book, etc. The list goes on and on. (On the book front, Today I received the final proof of the entire book. I have to go though it one more time before they send me a finalized copy in the mail. Once that’s all done it’s only a matter of a couple weeks before it’s available.)

Back to praying. I’ve heard it said, “If you’re too busy to pray, then you’re too busy.” How true. I guess God was tired of waiting on me. He wanted my attention. I needed to pray. I needed to be vulnerable before God and allow Him to work in me.

Life had been a been a case of reality versus my heart.

The reality is that I need to find a job. I wish I could afford to stay home, but I can’t. I’m trying not to panic about it, but it’s not always easy.

My heart has been so very happy being home. I’ve been inspired to write (I haven’t forgotten about my story about Jake). I’ve been able to help Tom out at his new job. He’s been very busy. I’ve been able to take care of lots of moving to a new state stuff. I’ve been enjoying making meals and taking care of the home.

I realized I needed to surrender it all to God. I needed to surrender the reality and my heart. God already knew my needs. He was the one who called us here. He already knew my heart – He created it and it’s connected to Him. So surrender I did. Now I wait. I wait and see what happens.

I’ll continue to seek employment and my heart will enjoy the freedom while I can.

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

A special thank you to Sharon at Mom Generations for this award. I’m supposed to choose 7 blogs that I love and pass this award along. The problem is I love too many. So please accept this award from my heart to yours all of you that I visit on a regular basis.

Happy Birthday

I'm taking a short break from posting the rest of my story on Jake to wish my beautiful girl, Happy Birthday. I'm so sad I can't be with her this year and make her favorite dinner.

If you would like to read previous birthday posts you can here and here.

I love you honey and want you to know that I'm getting too young to be your mom. Only kidding.

Your Dad and I miss you. We love you and we're proud of you. We can't wait to see you at Christmas.

(c) Nadine Zawacki 2008

Jake – Part II

As office manager for Dr. Russell Bennett, Jennifer had some flexibility with her schedule. When Hank died, he was one of her biggest supporters. He gave her all the time she needed to heal from her loss. His successful neurology practice was attractive enough for some women, but his deep blue eyes, crooked smile and kind heart put him in a different league. A league many women wanted to play in.

Unfortunately for them, Dr. Russ (as he was known by his patients), only had eyes for Jennifer. His attraction to her snuck up on him after her husband died. His compassion turned into something more. He admired her love for her children, even though life without their father was hard. Her dedication to her job made his office move smoothly in spite of her pain. It was the first time in his life his heart was pulled in that direction. Dr. Russ wanted to invite Jennifer out for dinner on many an occasion, but his position as her boss and his nerves always won out. There was a knock on his door that startled his thoughts.

The door opened and Jennifer stepped inside. “Good Morning Dr. B. Lena says your first patient is here. You don’t want to keep him waiting now, do you?” He guessed she was trying to keep him from running late. “Your last patient of the day cancelled. Do you want Lena to replace her or do you want to take off early?”

“Well . . . that depends.”

“Depends on what?” Jennifer asked.

“It depends on whether you would join me for dinner.” There he said it. He’s not sure where the courage came from, but the question was out there. He watched her carefully. She had a tough time looking at him. This couldn’t be good. Maybe he made a mistake. How can he swallow his words? What was taking her so long to answer.

Jennifer was stunned. Where did that come from? She was attracted to him, but didn’t want to go there because he was her boss. His kindness and understanding when Hank died made her life easier. Before she could process further she found herself saying, “That would be lovely.”

He sat up in his seat with the biggest smile she had ever seen on his face.

“Great! I’ll pick you up at six, if that’s a good time?”

“Yes, that would be fine.”

The rest of the day she couldn’t shake the smile on her face, especially when she heard him whistling. As day came to an end, she wondered how she was going to explain to the children her date. She hoped that Jake would understand. She was worried how he would take her dating.

Maybe this is not such a short story. Stay tuned for Part III.

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

Jake

Jennifer sat by the window that evening as the rain fell against the glass, her thoughts drifted in many directions. These past five years as a single mother had been challenging to say the least. Three children- two boys and a girl – were harder to handle alone than she had first thought. That rainy night Hank left to get milk for the kids was permanently engraved in her memory. It haunted her dreams. If she had just remembered to get the milk earlier, then maybe . . . No! She couldn’t continue to do that to herself. It’s not her fault that some crazy man decided to get behind the wheel after drinking. After five years, whenever it rained, she couldn’t help but relive that night again.

“Mommy, I can’t sleep.” Cindy said as she ran into the room and interrupted her thoughts. Cindy was only three when her Daddy died, so she doesn’t remember him as well as her brothers. Jimmy was eight and Jake was eleven.

“What’s the matter honey? Did you have a bad dream?”

“No, Mommy. I’m not tired. I think another story would make me sleepy.”

Jennifer didn’t have the strength to get up from her seat and read another story.

“I’ll read her a story, Ma.” Jennifer heard Jake say as he entered the room. “Come on Cindy, I’ll race you up to your room.” Giggles were heard as they ran up the stairs.

What wonderful timing that boy has. Jake had been such a comfort and help with his siblings since his father’s death. Jennifer was so grateful for the strength her eldest son possessed. She heard Jake’s voice as he read Cindy’s favorite princess story, complete with different voices for all the characters. What had she done in life to deserve such fine children?

It’s time to start living again. It’s not good for her children or herself to just survive the every day, especially Jake. He needed to be a teenager and she needed to be the adult.

She heard Jake’s footsteps on the stairs. “You’re a good kid, Jake.”

“No problem, Ma. I like reading to Cindy.” He said as he shrugged his shoulders. He bent over and kissed her on her cheek. Jennifer continued to stare out the window and made a promise to herself that tomorrow would be different.

Stay tuned for Part II

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

Toto, We’re Not in Kansas Anymore

It’s been around fifteen years since we’ve lived in New York City. Living in a big city is so different from a small town. Our first small town was Clarksburg, WV. It wasn’t unusual to run into someone you knew when you went out to the store. Going across town took only ten minutes. Getting “stuck” in traffic meant it took fifteen minutes. Directions usually included, “It’s down the road a piece and you make a right when you get to the paved road.”

In Washington, the town was bigger than Clarksburg. It was a nice size town. Goldie Locks comes to mind – it was just right. You get soft when you stop living in a fast-paced city. You forget how to maneuver in and around traffic.

Today, I took Tom to work. Hummmm….traffic. I was surprised by how intimidated I felt. I was a bit nervous. It surprised me. I always considered myself a city girl. My favorite saying is, “You can take the girl out of Brooklyn, but you can’t take Brooklyn out of the girl.” Apparently that was not the case.

This I know – I will assimilate. Resistance is futile. I will get use to big city traffic again and the highways. It’s a matter of time. It’s like riding a bike.

It reminds of spending time alone with God. Sometimes life gets busy as it has for me. You forget to quiet yourself and listen to what He has to say. But just like riding a bike it comes back to you. It takes a while to get back in the groove and have that regularly schedule quiet time. The time that’s necessary to be a good friend to Him.

Two separate items. I should have the final proof from the publishers by October 21st. What is left is for me to read it through – one more time! As soon as that is done, it will take Amazon about two weeks to create a page for me. It’s all so close and the finish line is within my sight.

I would like to thank Theresa from Yew Norke Babe for the following award:
I love you too. I would love to spread the love to all of you who faithfully come by.

Until next time…

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

Finally, We’re in Texas

We have been without internet since we moved in. This is my first chance to post an update. We woke up at the hotel and had a nice Texas waffle – literally shaped like the state of Texas (see photo above). We got to the apartment office and waited until they opened.

Tom sitting outside the apartment office.

I took some of these pretty flowers pictures located outside the office.

After about thirty minutes of signing papers – it took less time to close on our house (11 minutes if you are curious) – we got our keys and off to our new apartment. Did I mention it is located on the second floor. There are 16 steps to reach our apartment. That doesn’t sound like much unless of course your knees are hurting from all the climbing up and down a thousand times. We had some wonderful people come and help us. We are so grateful for their time and energy.

Check out the apartment with all the boxes everywhere.

Kitchen

Living Room

Dining Room

We have fewer boxes now, but are not done with the finishing touches. Would you like to have a little tour? You would! Well here are some of the pictures taken today.

Kitchen

Living Room

Dining Room

Master Bedroom

Master Bath. Okay, I have to tell you the mirrored closet doors are freaky. If you look at the pictures you will see why. Who wants to watch themselves . . . you know, taking care of business.

Laundry Room

Second Bedroom (used as an office which Tom and I share). His desk.

My desk.

View from Balcony. There is a big lake located behind the apartments.

My big thrill today was to cook a roasted chicken in my kitchen. It was nice to sit down and eat on real dishes.

Now the job search begins. Please pray I get one soon.

Until next time . . .

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

Day 5 – Almost Grand Prairie

Moving nearly 2,000 miles is a long, tiring process. Along the way we noticed how much America looks similar from one state to another. We met an angel along the way who got us off the road before our tire blew.

The day started with breakfast at the hotel. Tom and I sat next to this elderly couple. His cell phone rang and he struggled trying to answer it. He told the person on the phone that he was glad he got him on the phone because he didn’t know how to check his messages. His wife told us how they just got the cell phones and she’s happy she knows how to place a call. Tom and I smiled. They were so sweet and loving to each other.

We left McPherson, KS and went through Oklahoma. When we got into Texas we hit traffic.

We got to about 10 miles of Grand Prairie when someone pulled along side of us honking. That’s right – the tire on the driver’s side of the car carrier was flat. We were in the middle of heavy traffic. As soon as Tom could he pulled over. Trying to get Budget on the phone was not easy. We called the roadside emergency number and as soon as we told them our information they put us on hold. We were on hold for a very long time. The first people they called didn’t have a tire to fit the car carrier. An hour and half went by and a few more phone calls before Tom finally decided to drive about a mile to the nearest hotel. He got a room while we still on hold. We checked in and ordered pizza and ate before someone got there and fixed the tire. It was much better than waiting on the side of the road in the middle of the highway in traffic, hungry and tired.

All is well and tomorrow we travel the 10 miles to our apartment and unload.

This made me think how often right before the payoff of something you have been waiting for, discouragement comes. Something happens that makes you want to give up. It reminded me of labor. I was so exhausted from all the pushing that at one point I said to Tom, “I’m done. I don’t want to do this anymore. I want to go home.” It was a good thing that I didn’t give up because soon we had this beautiful baby girl. In the end something beautiful comes to pass.

I look forward to our new adventure deep in the heart of Texas.

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

Day 4 – Not Quite Wichita

We didn’t go all the way to Wichita, but instead we are in McPherson, KS. Tom has been doing all the driving. The truck is 24 feet and the car carrier makes it even longer. He’s just awesome. I have offered to drive, but he insists on doing it all. Tom rocks!

We were going to go to Wichita today, but he got tired and so we stopped. It was the best thing to do. We had dinner at the restaurant next door and have been resting for the evening.

It seems the parts of the states we have gone through are just the dry flat areas. I know there are other parts that are beautiful and colorful. I just found it amusing that we didn’t hit any of them.

Here are some pictures from our road trip today.

Visitor Center in Kansas

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

Day 3 – WY to CO

The day started with a fresh start and a good nights sleep (at least for Tom). We decided that today we would not push it and take it easy. Yesterday was long and tiring.

We started off in Rock Springs, WY. I have nothing against WY but there is just so much wide open space out there. Not much to see except more of this –

We got to Colorado and the scenery changed a bit. In the distance you can see the mountains. The pictures I took didn’t do it justice, so I’ll skip it. We found ourselves on E470. This highway was ridiculous. We understand tolls, we’re from NY. We have never seen a highway like this. We had to pay the toll three times at $6.00 (for 3 axels) a pop before we reached the highway we needed. We couldn’t believe how many tolls are along E470. So if you are ever in CO, see if you can avoid this highway or just take it for one exit. Also when you exit most of the roads from this highway you pay another toll (75 cents) but still, I’m just saying.

We realized that even CO looked similar to the other states we have been through eventually. Check out the picture below.

Now we are resting comfortably in Limon, CO. Tomorrow we'll end up in Wichita, KS. See ya'll tomorrow.

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

Day 2 – Long Day

Today we started at Caldwell, ID. There was a lovely sunrise over all the traffic. (See the above picture.) Like yesterday, Idaho, Utah and Wyoming all look alike. I guess we are missing the scenic parts of these states.

Idaho

Utah

Wyoming

It was a long day. We were two hundred miles into our day, when a guy pulled along side of us honking and pointing to the back of the truck. We pulled over and so did he. He said the trailer tire didn’t look right. Upon further investigation there was a 12-18 inches of the tire was missing. There was a lot of metal showing. Since the trailer was carrying our car, this would have been very bad. We both think this man was an angel. We called Budget and two hours later the tire was fixed and we were back on the road.

Tom didn’t feel safe letting me get out of the truck, but here are pictures from the tire change.

My poor hubby drove a long way (500 miles). We are now settled in a hotel in Rock Springs, WY.

Let’s hope that tomorrow has less excitement as far as the truck and trailer goes. We will probably not do as many miles. It’s exhausting. Thank you all for your prayers. Please don’t stop praying for a safe trip.

© Nadine Zawacki 2008

Texas, Here We Come!

So much has happened since my birthday. Packing, packing, packing and then more packing. I trained the gal taking my place – she’s fabulous and I know will do a great job. My boss gave me a going away dinner party at his home. He was quite honoring and he made it obvious that he would miss me.

Our church gave me birthday presents. Let me explain first that there was a little joke about me being the “church diva.” This was started by wonderful husband. So being me – I played along and didn’t discourage it. I said that so you would understand my gifts – a pink cowboy hat with a tiara and Godiva chocolates (which I was told meant: Go Diva chocolates). So Tom wouldn’t feel left out they gave him a big belt buckle with a large “T” on it. Funny aren’t they?

Our church family have been so wonderful. They helped throughout this whole process, even though our leaving was sad for them. They helped prepare the house for sale, helped packed boxes and then on moving day – pack the truck.

Yesterday was our last Sunday. There were tears, laughter and lots of hugs. The church released us for this next phase in our lives and we released them to the destines that God has for each of them. We past the baton to the co-pastors who are perfect for what God will do with this body of believers. They are in great hands.

Today, we signed the closing papers and hit the road. We were so tired from the last few weeks of activities. We are grateful to be able to ride together. Our Explorer on this really cool car carrier is pictured above.

We left Washington and traveled into Oregon. Tonight we are spending the night in Idaho. These next few pictures have many similarities.

Washington

Oregon

Idaho

Goodnight until tomorrow.

© Nadine Zawacki 2008