Love the Forgotten Verb

A verb is defined as a word used to describe an action, state, or occurrence. I’m going to touch on the part of the verb that is described as an action. Love in action is amazing. There are different types of love that exist but nothing is more powerful than when love is in action.

I’m the first to admit that I’m not always great at love in the form of action. I find I love better when God is involved. Love never fails. What fails every time is hate, betrayal, criticism, gossip and judgment. I have been guilty of every one of those things in my life I’m sorry to say, but my heart has slowly changed through the years. Am I perfect at this? By all means – no, but I’m better at it than I used to be.

Words have such power in them, especially when being spoken to others. Hateful words spread like cancer and kill everything in its wake. I know because I’ve been guilty of that.

I learned this lesson during the time we lived in West Virginia. Tom and I and a few of the people from our church went to a conference. It was at this conference that I felt the conviction my hateful words towards others. I felt that God wanted me to apologize to four people that I had spoken bad things about behind their backs. The first person was at this conference with us, so I went to her and apologized. When we returned home I called the next person on the list and apologized to her. The next two were a couple and as I started to dial their number, I stopped cold. I felt the conviction of God again and this time, I heard a still small voice . . . I had spoken very badly about these two behind their backs and God wanted me to apologize to their face. I had sworn that I would never have these two people in my house so God wanted me to invite them over. After about an hour of deep prayer, I called. They were not far from my house and said that they can come right now. It was the hardest thing I ever done, but I did it. I could tell by their faces that it touched them deeply. A weight lifted from my heart. I never wanted to do that again.

Love is a powerful tool. Light and darkness cannot exist at the same time neither can love and hate. It’s easy to hate or dislike or judge someone. It’s harder to love them.

Forgive me God for the times I choose to hate rather than love. Help to love more in action and talk less with my words.

This is just a portion of what I’ve learned lately it’s not the complete story of love.

© Nadine Zawacki, 2016

The Other Love Chapter

On Sunday, as I listened to my husband’s sermon on John 13, it spoke to me. I have to confess that I enjoy Tom’s sermons because he speaks to my heart.

Most people consider 1 Corinthians 13 to be the love chapter in the bible. Then I would have to say that John 13 is the other love chapter. 1 Corinthians describes love: Love patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 

I feel that John 13 demonstrates love through Jesus’ actions. This was his last night with his closest friends and what he did first was wash all their feet (even the feet of Judas who would betray him and Peter who would deny him). He didn’t kick them out or displayed anger. He loved them.

Jesus said in verses 34- 35: A new command I give you: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another. Jesus spoke to his disciples in a very profound way because in the Hebrew mindset to say “a new command I give you,” Jesus could have easily said Commandant #11.

This touched me. It’s better to love than to be right. How does it feel to be wrong? It feels like being right. When you discover your wrong is different because then you may feel embarrassed or sorry for your wrongness. Maturity is an ongoing process until the day I meet my maker. I learn things as I mature. I discover that I can be wrong and my opinions may change. So if being right comes at the price of love then the price is too high.

Sometimes God brings people in my life to help me practice love and sometimes He brings me into theirs to help them practice. I have a theory that can’t be proven and it’s my own opinion, but here it goes: I feel that if I can’t love someone here on earth that God will put us in the same section of heaven until eternity. So I try not to take any chances with people that annoy me. J

There was so much richness in Tom’s sermon on John 13 (give in three parts). Most of the above was inspired by his message. If you want to check it out, you can here. 

© Nadine and Tom Zawacki 2015

One Woman’s Weed is One Little Boy’s Flower

Last Sunday after church, one of the little boys picked me a “flower.” It was a dandelion weed. I said thank you and then placed it on the bench beside me. I got up to leave and honestly, I just forgot about it. He called out to let me know that I left my “flower” on the bench. I picked it up and thanked him. It just made me smile.

This sweet boy wanted me to have a flower and the adult me knew it wasn’t a flower. Of course, I took it anyway. His heart was pure and precious. I realized at that moment what Jesus meant when he said in Matthew 18:3; Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you’ll never enter the kingdom of heaven.”

That innocence and ability to look at a weed and see only a flower is priceless. That’s what God does with us. As an adult, I lost that. I know that it is a weed and it plays havoc with my lawn. I know a lot of things and sometimes that gets in the way my seeing the innocence and purity in life. My own earthly wisdom gets in the way.

In times when hope and faith are needed, that’s when innocence and purity comes into play. I’ve prayed and seen mountains move and I’ve prayed and seen nothing happen. Why? I don’t know. But today I pray, I can see people, the way this little see weeds. Thank you Lord for a sweet lesson from a sweet boy.

© Nadine Zawacki 2015

The Five Love Languages

Gary Chapman wrote a book called “The Five Love Languages.” They are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, Physical Touch. I think there should be a sixth one – food.

My husband preached a sermon a few weeks back about this and you can listen to it here (just click on the title 5 Love Languages). You can listen to the message and also there is a downloadable test that you can take.

I took the test many years ago and always knew that Acts of Service was my love language. So I tend to show love through Acts of Service rather than in others ways. Learning the love language of those close to me was helpful because then I could express love in their language. It works so much better that way. I took the test again that Sunday and I was surprised that Words of Affirmation was my lowest score (I scored a one). It was by far the least important to me. For a writer, words not having that much meaning to me personally is funny.

I guess it goes back to the fact that I’ve had many nice words said to me in the past. The people who said them believed they were being sincere, but it turned out they would do the opposite of their words. For example, in the past when I heard someone say they had my back, I learned that it was wise to duck.

Words are important whether it's your love language or not. What you say, how you say it and to whom you say it carries a lot of weight. If you are a person of influence, what you say can sway others in ways you may not be able to see. When groups of people with the same mindset come together (good or bad) there is power in the momentum of their beliefs.

I learned a long time ago, that I try not to say anything about someone that I’m not willing to say to them in love. The in love part is the most important. Am I perfect at this? – not by a long shot. My mom taught me at a young age, if I've got nothing nice to say, say nothing at all. 

When it comes to words spoken about me, well my mindset is such that I don’t let it bother me. I like me. I’m funny, I can cook and I’m as loyal a friend as they come. I just don’t like it if I hear someone speaking ill about someone I love greatly. It’s a battle to keep the Brooklyn from coming out in full force. I’m working on it.

So what’s your love language? Were you surprised by the outcome?

© Nadine Zawacki 2015

You’re All My Favorites

A member of our church gave me this sweet book, You’re All My Favorites. Why would she give me a children’s story?

It all started with a picture I took with one of the girls at our Ice Cream Social. It was put on Facebook with a bunch of other photos taken that night. She took the photo and created one that said, “Nadine’s Favorite.”

You can imagine it did not sit well with one of the other teen girls. What happened next was a back and forth that turned out to be hilarious. It was all in fun, but I went on record that my love for them was the same.

We love people in different ways because there are different types of love. A love for a parent or a child is not the same as a love for a spouse.

We all want to be special and think we are someone’s favorite. I’m my parent’s favorite and since I’m so much younger than my siblings, I believe they let me get away with that (and it also happens to be true). When my dad was alive he would agree with me.

Hurt feelings can ensue when people choose one friend over another or one child or a parent, etc. I’m grateful that God doesn’t do that. Sometimes it may seem because of our circumstances that God is choosing to bless one person over the other. It’s been my experience that His love holds no bounds and His love is intense. The more I put into the relationship the more I’ll get out.

We judge Him by our circumstances. He gets blamed for the all the bad in the world. God is good and He loves me – this I know.

Not everyone will be our close confidants. We don’t have to wear our hearts on our sleeves. We will always have deep relationships and those that aren’t but are friendly. People we work with don’t need to know our deepest darkest secrets. That’s not what I’m talking about here.

I want to go on record as saying, I’m sorry if I’ve ever hurt anyone’s feelings. If I made you feel less than. It was never my intention. My heart is that . . . You’re All My Favorites.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Tripping

Tripping as defined by Merriam Webster: to catch the foot against something so as to stumble or to make a mistake or false step.

I have trouble with tripping. I’m not talking about the 60’s kind of tripping. I trip all the time - weekly and sometimes daily. I think it’s because my feet are smaller than the rest of me. Anyway, this past week was one of my best “trips” ever.

I don’t know what I was thinking, but picture this: I was walking in my apartment and trying to drink at the same time. I have a large cup in my hand and my elbow is sticking out because I’m holding a cup to my lips. My elbow bangs (hard) against the door as my cup bangs into my mouth, causing me to bite my lip and spill the contents of my cup onto my shirt.

I stood there for a moment looking down at my shirt, rubbing my elbow and licking my sore lip. I could cry or laugh but instead I just stood there in stun disbelief.

Tom and I are teaching a class at our church called the Art of Hearing God. Even though it’s a class designed to help people hear God better, it focuses on character over gifting. I taught on the Dark Night of the Soul which is about when you find yourself in the wilderness and feel like God is far from you. In reality He is helping you draw closer to Him and seek Him out.

When I’m in a dark place I could “trip” and give up on my way to my destination. I could cry, laugh or just be paralyzed in stun disbelief when it happens. What I need to remind myself is if I “trip” it’s just a false step and I need to continue in the direction I am heading. If I stay the course, even if I “trip” He gets me to the other side.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Pretending

During the last few days it’s been misting. Sometimes it rained but mostly it was misty. I don’t like mist. Mist is not enough to justify an open umbrella. People give you funny looks when you have your umbrella up and it’s only misting. I rather it rain so I can open my umbrella to keep dry. The real reason mist annoys me is that my hair frizzes in the mist. I start to look like Donna Summer in the 70’s (see picture above). Mist pretends it’s raining. It’s fake rain – or “rain light.”

When I was a little girl one of my favorite things to do was pretend. I would watch classic movies on TV, and then pretend I was one of the characters. I would carry out dialogue in front of the mirror mimicking different actors. I had plenty of friends growing up so I didn’t do this because I was lonely, but because it was fun.

Just like the mist my pretending was fake – or “Nadine light.” It messed me up as an adolescent. I would be what I needed to be to survive or to be on top of a situation.

Kids made fun of me when I was little. It was difficult and hurtful. I never felt accepted so I overcompensated. If I felt I was about to be bullied then I bullied first. The problem was I started to bully all the time just in case. If I went on the defensive then no one could laugh at me. If the situation called for me to be confident then I was over the top filled with confidence. The truth of the matter was that I wasn’t confident. I didn’t feel I was very pretty so I faked it.

Pretending has its place. I wouldn’t want to go see a movie or play that the actors didn’t pretend very well. On the other hand I don’t want the guy flying my plane or operating on my gall bladder to pretend.

When I became a Christian it was the first time I didn’t have to “fake” it. I was able to be real with God. I wasn’t going to fool Him anyway. It took a while, but I finally figured out who I was. God has changed my heart but not my personality. I love to have fun and enjoy life.

I have a serious side too. I love the Lord. My heart is to serve Him and His people in any capacity He chooses. I’m not perfect, but that’s okay with God. If I were perfect, then there wouldn’t be any need for Him.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Hope

As I sit here with Tom during his third of six treatments, I’m fully aware of how much chemo stinks (there are better words to describe it, but this a G-rated blog). I can’t believe we are going through this again. I hold firm to my faith that God will heal him because that’s the only way he will never have to do this again.

When Tom was first diagnosed with cancer, he gave me a bracelet that has the word, “Hope” on it. That one broke, but I have another one. I’ve worn it everyday since. My name means hope. I also hold on to the hope that God will bring healing to Tom.

Since we have been here, I’ve not been able to find work. I briefly worked as virtual assistant. The lady quit a couple of her jobs and didn’t need an assistant any more. I’ve not understood why I can’t find work. I know God knows we need the money, but the only blessing has been that I’ve been able to sit with Tom during treatment. The last time I had a full time job and I couldn’t always be with him. That broke my heart. We don’t really know too many people here, so it’s been a blessing to Tom for me to be with him.

My heart aches to watch him sit there with these drugs going through his veins. They make him sick and tired. I feel helpless. The only thing I can do is pray.

Tom always says to enjoy the good days, endure the bad and keep moving forward. So that is what we do. There are days he feels great and then all of sudden it hits him. Chemo stinks, but God is bigger than any cancer. Cancer begins with a little “c” and God always begins with a big “G.”

Thank you for all your prayers. It is greatly appreciated.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Some Things Never Change

I have two friends from childhood. One (Juliana) moved next door when I was seven and she was five. The other (Aminie) moved down the street when I was nine and she was eight. I can’t believe I have friends that I’ve known for 40 years. I feel old.

Recently, I tried to get in touch with Aminie but the contact number and email I had changed. Here’s the beauty of Facebook. I typed in her name and she had a Facebook account. I sent her a message and she sent me her new number.

We talked on the phone and it was as if no time passed between us. That’s what I love about old friends (not friends that are old – I’m just clarifying my statement) – some things never change. You know each other’s history. You have love and friendship that has stood the test of time. You speak each others language. You can catch up in nothing flat. I can’t remember the last time we spoke, but it felt like yesterday.

I’ve found for me that’s what its like with my relationship with God. I wish I could say that I’m really good to keep up all the time. There are times when life is busy and I don’t speak to Him for an extended period time. What I’m talking about is quality time with Him. Not a day goes by that I don’t offer prayers up to Him. He loves me. He knows my history. Our relationship has stood the test of time. He speaks my language. I can catch up in nothing flat. I love that the most about Him.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Thank You

Thank you to Debz for the following award. You’re a sweetheart. Go visit Debz, she has a wonderful blog and is chronicling the journey of adopting a baby from China.

Coffee Snob

This morning I stopped in Starbucks to buy a pound of coffee. It’s actually cheaper that way believe it or not. The lady asked if I wanted her to grind the beans. I looked at her as if she just insulted my mother. No thank you, I rather do that myself as I use it. She then told me that was the best way (as if I didn’t know). Actually she was very nice but being nice is not funny.

I grew up in NYC as you all know and we moved to West Virginia for eight years. Back in those days I bought Maxwell House and kept my can in the freezer to keep it fresh. Please don’t think ill of me. I was naïve.

When we moved to Washington (the Starbucks state) it quickly dawned on us that we were not in Kansas anymore. We were invited to someone’s house for dinner and afterwards they asked if we would like some coffee. They proceeded to take out a grinder and grind fresh coffee beans.

So when in Rome…we bought a coffee grinder and tried to blend in with the other coffee snobs we grew to love. My son worked for Starbucks so I quickly stopped putting my coffee beans in the freezer.

I don’t know when it happened, but soon we found ourselves being coffee snobs. We loved lattes, espresso and good coffee. No longer did we buy already ground coffee or get coffee at McDonalds. The transformation to office coffee snobs is complete.

It got me to thinking. What else in my life am I snob about? What things I can’t do without?

I guess you can say I’m a God snob. Now that I have Him in my life, I can’t go back. I need to have my daily dose. When I don’t, I’m cranky. I’m not focused and I feel a bit lost. During this time in our lives, if I wasn't a God snob, I would be in serious trouble.

So what are you a snob about?

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Photo from Imaginechef.com

Stain Remover

I bought a stain remover recently that promised to remove the “toughest of stains.” It really wasn’t any different than any other product I’ve tried. It removed some stains but not others. I often find if I need to remove stains from laundry that I’m using three different products to get the job done.

Sometimes no matter what you do there are always some stains that don’t go away. They may fade but don’t disappear.

Tom and I was driving pass a church the other day and the following was on their bulletin board: God removes the stains that others leave behind.

I thought to myself – wow, that’s so true. When He comes along He removes the hurts, the pains, the heartbreak, etc. that other people inflict on us. Tom preached last Sunday about God giving out new hearts to replace the broken hearted ones, the divided ones, the harden ones and the dirty ones. It was a great message followed by a powerful time of ministry.

I know for myself that when my heart breaks, I tend to harden my heart. I put up walls to protect myself from future hurt. I distance myself from the person emotionally and sometimes physically. I look at others with suspicion. Trust is not given easily. If I’m not careful, I isolate myself from everyone. God doesn’t want me to operate that way. He wants to remove the stains and heal the hurt. Sometimes He just gives a whole new heart that doesn’t even recall the hurt that was once there.

© Nadine Z. 2008

Do Not Worry

I want to share something that happened on Easter. I got a new dress and was looking for my gold necklace and tennis bracelet. I thought it would go perfectly with it. I don’t have a lot of jewelry, but what I have is very sentimental to me. I usually keep it hidden in a safe place. I had placed it in a new hiding place. Why? We were going to be gone for a week and just in case…well you understand right? It was such a good hiding place that I couldn’t remember where it was. I didn’t want to upset anyone, so I didn’t make a big deal of it. We had a good day and a wonderful meal together as a family.

Throughout the day, I kept thinking about the jewelry. After Tom went to sleep, I decided to look a bit more carefully. The more I looked, the more upset I became. I was really upset about not remembering. As some of you know my mom has Alzheimer’s. Memory deficit of any kind is very bothersome to me. I started to weep. Tom woke up, held me, and prayed for me. I was able to calm down enough to sleep.

I woke up the next day, still upset. I stood in the middle of my bedroom and asked God to help me remember. I went directly to where I hid it and there it was. I was so relieved that not only did I find it, but I remembered where it was.

Afterwards I sat down to pray. The scripture I turned to was Matthew 6:25 -

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?”

I was so worried, but God had it in control. It may seem trivial to be so upset about misplacing jewelry, but truth be told, I was more upset about the forgetting part. God didn’t let me stew. I would have found it eventually. My piece of mind was at stake. I’m grateful that I have such a loving God, that I seek, asked and then found what I was looking for.

Thank you Father for showing me constantly how much the little things matter to You.

© Nadine Z. 2008

A Simple Prayer Goes a Long Way

I was reading some blogs during lunch today and I happened upon an interesting story from A Daily Dose of Debbie. She had not been feeling well and her son prayed for her. It reminded of my own son.

When he was about three years old and his sister was five, I was coming down the stairs. I started to slip and grabbed the railing. My arm got caught in a funny position while my body kept going. I thought I broke my arm. I couldn't believe the pain. My son came running up the stairs. I was being very brave and tried not to panic in front of a three year old. I reassured him I was fine.

This was my son Tommy's reaction:

Tommy: "Lisa hurry up, we got to pray!"

My daughter came quickly and both of them laid hands on me. Their prayers were simple and lasted about thirty seconds, but it was enough. I looked at them and thanked them. Now mind you their faith was considerably more than mine at that moment. I was just so proud that my son sprung into action and got his sister to help.

I got up and immediately my arm felt better. There was no bruise (and I tend to bruise very easily). There was no pain or discomfort. I couldn't believe it.

In reading Debbie’s post, a fond memory came to mind. I needed to remember that today. I needed to remember the goodness of God and how a simple prayer goes a long way.

© Nadine Z. 2008

Reading

I love to read. Is that surprising? No, not really because most writers I know love to read. If I read a book that I enjoy, I’m known to re-read it. I own the books I read because of this fact. Maybe it’s the details I’ve forgotten because some time has passed.

I guess you can say the same about a good movie. Sometimes knowing the end and then watching it from the beginning you pick up on things. I remember when we watched the Sixth Sense. I saw the end of that movie and immediately wanted to watch it from the beginning.

As I’ve shared before I’ve been praying for God to transform me. He’s been showing me areas of my life that need improvement. One area is my prayer life. It’s been sporadic in the past and I’ve been unhappy with that. I find that God has been waking me up earlier than my alarm to make sure I have ample time to pray before my day starts.

In reading the Bible, I’ve been doing something my husband suggested and that is read it on Bible Gateway. It’s very easy to check out different translations on the same passage. I’ve been enjoying this because a slight word change has helped me see the verse in a new way. In the past, reading the same chapters repeatedly, I found new insights each time. Right now I’m enjoying delving into Matthew 5 and the Beatitudes. The Message translation has really bought these verses to life for me. The first Beatitude is this:

You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and His rule.

This has been my prayer to God. It truly blessed me and moved me to repentance. I’m continuing to enjoy exploring God’s word. For me reading has been a new gateway to His presence.

© Nadine Z. 2008

Wake Up Call

My alarm goes off at six o'clock most mornings. This morning I was awaken at five. It wasn't one of those days when I wake up, see what time it is, and then go back to sleep. I was fully awake. I knew God wanted me to get up and spend some time praying. I wanted to "quickly" check my email because I have been having issues with my blog loading with Mac users. It appears my cute little counter from NeoWorx was slowing down and causing script errors. I had emailed them to find out what can be done. Besides it would only take a second to check.

There was the email I was waiting for. They suggested I just not use one of the special skins (background picture) to see if the issue resolved. After playing with it and getting no where fast, I decided I should go and pray. I realized I had spent the first twenty minutes of my day working on this stupid computer issue.

Needless to say I felt convicted that I just didn't go pray first. I've been asking God to transform and change me from the inside and believe me He has been working overtime. So I asked forgiveness for not obeying His gentle reminder to pray this morning right away.

After I finished praying, I went upstairs and took a second look at changing my map. It took literally two seconds to remove the skin. It still has not solved the problem my Mac friends say, so I might be saying goodbye to my cute little counter if NeoWorx can’t resolve the issue.

Note to self; when God wakes you up, pray first.

© Nadine Z. 2008

Driving Lesson

Lately I’ve been asking God to transform me. Help me to have more of Him and less of me. These types of prayers God answers freely in case you’re wondering. On the way to work I realized there is an area in my life that is not under submission to Him. What area is that you ask? Driving.

When I’m behind the wheel there is part of me that is transformed in a bad way. I get impatient. I hate driving behind a semi truck or any truck for that matter. If someone is not doing the speed limit I just want to scream. I usually do, but no one hears me. No one…well not really no one. The One that matters most hears me.

What does it matter if I say the right things or act the right way when I have an audience? It doesn’t matter. I’m the type of gal that you can say, “What you see is what you get.” If you ever drove with me in the car though, I would contain my frustrations. I think it’s because I’m distracted by pleasant company and conversation. When I’m alone, it’s another story.

So this morning I was quickly convicted of my road rage. I asked for forgiveness. Now here’s the thing about behavioral issues. When you desire to change and ask God for forgiveness, He gives you opportunity to see if change takes place. Have I changed under my own strength or have I embraced a true change through the power of the Holy Spirit?

On the way home, I had opportunity to see where my change came from. I was stuck behind a truck almost two minutes into my ride. I didn’t get frustrated. I didn’t mumble or complain out loud. I took a deep breath and thanked God for helping me recognize an area I needed change. I had the most peaceful ride home I’ve had in the longest time even though it seemed everyone I got behind went under the speed limit.

© Nadine Z. 2008

Right Attitude

We're home and we had a great trip. I look forward to telling you all about it. But first, let’s talk about travel. Tom and I got to the airport Wednesday to find out that our first flight was delayed. The problem became that we would cut it really close for our flight out of Seattle to Vancouver. The airline automatically booked us on the next flight out which unfortunately was four hours later. We found our way to customer service to get new tickets. There comes a time when you have to just say to yourself; “There is nothing I can do about this situation. I will get there eventually. It’s going to be okay.”

At the customer service counter it was apparent that the gal behind the desk was worn-out. She was very helpful, probably hoping we weren’t going to be irate over having to wait four hours before our next flight. She apologized that we would have to wait so long before our next flight. Here is how the conversation progressed:

Me: “So how long have you been here?”
Counter Lady: “Since 7:00 am and my shift ends at 10:00 pm.”
Me: “Dang, that’s a long day. You poor thing. You see honey we don’t have it that bad, at least we’ll get out here in four hours.” This brings a smile to her face.
Counter Lady: “I’m sick too. I’ve had a cold.”
Me: “I’m so sorry to hear that. I hope you feel better.”
Counter Lady: “Here are your new tickets and a meal ticket for $12 for any place in the airport. I wish it could be more.”
Me: “Wow, thanks.”

When we walked away Tom mentioned that she didn’t have to give us a meal ticket. She did it because I was nice to her. We went to Anthony’s and had a nice meal and talked. Then Tom read a book to me. We had such a pleasant time with each other. The four hours just melted away.

Our attitudes were right and God blessed us in return. It proved to me how important kindness is in these types of situations. When we are faced with the option of being kind or angry…kindness gets us further every time. I wasn’t kind to the lady because I thought I would get something from her. I was kind because I sensed she was already having a tough day. I didn’t want to add to it.

Just so you know we had no trouble on our trip back. It went very well.

I’ll be catching up with you all soon. Next up, “Interns.”

© Nadine Z. 2007

The Hallway

I had a two hour ride to my daughter’s apartment on her birthday. I decided to make good use of my time. The only two days I worked last week were bad. That’s all I’m saying about it because I don’t want dwell there. I thought it would be good to listen to some worship music. I put in one of favorite CD’s, “Under Your Shadow” by Josh Young. The song, “I Lay It Down” came on and the words spoke to my heart and I just wept. Here are the words:

I lay it down, all that’s in my heart
I lay it down, I place it at Your feet
For You alone have everything I need
I lay it down

I want more of You
I need more of You

I lay it down, my need to understand
For I believe that You have a perfect plan
Yes, I believe that You alone are God
I lay it down

I want more of You
I need more of You

So I come to You with arms open wide
Give my heart to You, only You can satisfy
Let Your fire burn
Through the depths of my soul
Take me deeper Lord, I want to lose control

As the song played it ministered to my heart. I realized that I was standing in a hallway. A hallway is not bad place, but it’s a transition place. Behind me is a door that is closed and in front of me was a new door that was not opened yet.

Before God could open that door, I needed to lay down my wants and desires and seek after His. He has my best interest at heart. He knows what is best for me. I don’t need to understand why I’m in the place I’m in. All I need to know is that He loves me and has the perfect plan for me. This requires trust. I can trust Him to provide.

If I open my hands and let go of what is in there, then God can come along and fill it with something new. I need to let go of my agenda and grab a hold of His. The hallway is not a pleasant place to be, but how long I last there is up to me. Do I choose to fight what God is doing or do I choose to relent. I choose to relent and let Him be God. One thing I’m certain of is whenever that new door opens, I’m ready to leap forward into it.

© Nadine Z. 2007

At Least I Have My Cute Shoes

The first day back at work after being away for three days is always the roughest. I knew this before my I went to work today. I got up and prayed. I asked God to give me grace for the day. I would hate to think what my day would have been like if I didn’t start it off this way.

It was a crazy day and I can’t believe how close I came to quitting. I was getting yelled at for things I didn’t do because I was there for the past three days. I was thinking why I almost lost it today. I wasn’t disrespectful to my boss, but I did tell him to back off. In relaying my day to Tom, he asked me an interesting question. He wanted to know if I was trying to get fired. I wasn’t, but I was firmer than I ever was in the six years I worked there.

I feel like my time there is coming to an end. I believe God will provide a way for me to be able to quit and minister with Tom. My heart is not in it anymore, but I want to finish well. I want to do my best everyday. It’s important to do what is in front of you with excellence, before you move on to the new thing. I don’t want to circle this mountain again. How you leave one thing can affect how you enter the new thing. I know this in my head. Sometimes things get lost between the head and the heart. I guess I needed this reminder today. I thank God for bringing me to a place where I can recognize it.

The day ended well. I had dinner with a friend and we came back to my house for some Tim Tams. Yummy. Tomorrow night I get to dine with a couple of more ladies. You guessed it…more Tim Tams.

My bag got delivered and as you can see from the picture above at least I have my cute shoes.

© Nadine Z. 2007

Practicing What You Preach

This year I’ve gotten so many opportunities to teach and even to preach on a Sunday. It’s been over two years since I taught. I was trying to be obedient to the Lord and a gentle pull toward teaching again. I have enjoyed myself more than I have imagined I would.

An interesting dynamic I’ve found was when I was speaking on a subject, I received ample opportunity to practice what I preached. When I spoke on forgiveness, I found that I had many an opportunity to keep short accounts and forgive. I found myself repeatedly getting upset with people. When I realized what was happening it made it easier.

Last weekend I spoke on spiritual listening. Listening values others and expresses to them what they have to say matters. It’s important to listen especially when someone may have trouble expressing themselves clearly. At work I was tested in that area. Part of my job is to call new patients that are being referred by other offices for appointments. I called this gentleman who had trouble hearing. The conversation went something like this:

Me: “Good afternoon sir. I’m calling from Dr. C’s office. Your doctor wanted me to call you for an appointment.”

Man: “What kind of doctor is he?”

Me: “He is a neurologist.”

Man: “An urologist.”

Me: “No, a neurologist.”

Man: “An urologist.”

Me: “A neurologist.” (Now I’m trying to speak as loud and gently as I could. The ladies I work with are laughing their butts off which didn’t help the situation.)

Man: “An urologist.”

Me: “Sir is there someone there I can speak to that might hear me better?”

Man: Yeah, speak to my wife. (As he hands her the phone I hear him say, “Honey it’s some gal from the urologist office calling to make an appointment.”)

My husband spoke last Sunday about relationships and the difference between a man and a boy. Check here to read part of what he spoke about it was excellent. He also read from a small section from Dr. Willard Harley’s book, His Needs/Her Needs. He talked about the five basic needs of a man and the five basic needs of a woman in a relationship. You could hear a pin drop. Many folks went home and put into action what they heard. I have to tell you, so did Tom. Starting with Sunday, he showed me how much he loved me everyday. We had such a busy weekend with the class that I was part of and I was tired. After some running around, he rubbed my back and just loved on me. Monday he came by my job and went to lunch with me. Tuesday he cooked me a really nice dinner. Wednesday we had some folks over for dinner and I walked in and noticed first chocolates (my favorite kind) and then the wonderful red roses you see pictured above. The man put into practice what he preached this week. I’m blessed to married to such a man who is not afraid to express his love for me.

So what are you preaching on?

© Nadine Z. 2007