Tom and I recently went to see the movie, “Jesus Revolution.” It tells the story of how tens of thousands of “hippies” came to fall in love with Jesus. It was very good and moving story. In watching it, I was reminded how I came to fall in love with Jesus.
I grew up in the Catholic church. As I teenager, I went to the “folk mass” (they played live with music with guitars). I was attracted to music – all types. Music always moved something in me. When I started dating Tom he was in a Christian Rock band called, “Sonseed.” He played percussion instruments and as a young 16-year-old that was very attractive. It was at one of the concerts that the band played that I said yes to Jesus in a way that was different than my just going to church on Sunday.
Believe it or not, I wasn’t the nicest of girls growing up. When I was very young kids tried to bully me, but I decided that I would turn the tables and bully first. I apologize to all the kids I bullied at a young age. I just didn’t know who I was so I became whoever I needed to be at the moment.
Back to the concert. When the preacher got up to speak, he said, “Jesus loved me and he didn’t expect me to change to ask Him into my heart. He just wanted me to ask.”
Mind blown at 17 years old. It’s been quite a journey. I hit a rough patch in the last several years. I never stop loving God, I just moved away from Him and put up a very thick brick wall around my heart. In recent months, the iceberg that was my heart started to melt and soften.
I realized that Jesus never moved. He was always there, steady, waiting for me to come back. He still loved me just as I am. I love that about Him.
I want to love as Jesus loved. No expectation, no demands, and not asking someone to change for me. I don’t think I ever did that, but I want to love better. Jesus loved the people. People inside and outside of church can learn from that kind of love. I can learn from that kind of love.
Be patient with me as I step back into the water. I know I am not perfect, but I know that I am loved. That is a good place to start.
© Nadine Zawacki 2023