Rocky

In the past several months, I’ve seen a couple of movies that were not to my liking. The Fountain heads that list. The reviews said it’s about a love story that spans one thousand years. Tom didn’t read the reviews but saw a preview. He thought it was about time travel and that interested him. It was just weird and I didn’t enjoy it at all. Maybe I’m not intelligent enough to get the symbolism in the movie. All I know was that I left dissatisfied.

The Good Shepherd was not what it was advertised to be. The previews gave the impression it was a story about the beginnings of the CIA. I felt it was more of an anti-American movie than anything else. The main character exhibited none. He was not a good husband or father. He sacrificed his family for his job. I don’t particularly enjoy movies where there are no clear good or bad guys.

The other night I went on a date with Tom and we saw Rocky Balboa. We had seen the very first Rocky movie together (I’m really aging myself, I know). I liked the first Rocky movie. It was a feel good movie that made you cheer for the underdog. It was a movie about an ordinary man reaching for his dream and not quitting. The subsequent Rocky movies after the first two however, exhibited plain silliness. Like most movie sequences there comes a time when you say, “They should have stopped after that last one.” Case in point Godfather III. I could write a whole blog article on how bad this was. There are always exceptions - Godfather II for example. I loved the second Godfather movie better than the first.

Since we had seen the first one together, it seemed fitting to see what I believe is the final one together. I was not expecting much so I was pleasantly surprised. It was well done along the feel of the original Rocky. I thought Sylvester Stallone ended well. It conveyed the power of hope and not giving up. He made up for the silliness in between. Do keep in mind this Rocky not Shakespeare. It had the classic training scene and some footage from the first movie. I don’t to go into detail, but I would recommend this movie if you liked the first one.

There was one line from the movie that I really liked. Before the big fight someone said to Rocky, “Tomorrow night they are going to find out that the last thing to age on someone is their heart.” Hope is a powerful weapon in our arsenal. When hope is missing everything seems to be bleak, but with hope you can forge through anything.

Proverbs 13:12 - Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

I love it when God can speak to me through ordinary things like a movie.

© Nadine Z. 2006

The Little Voice Inside My Head

This morning while I considered what to wear to work, a thought came to mind. I never dress in layers because I’m usually hot most of the time. I’m the type of person that would turn the heat on in the car for about five minutes then off because it got too stuffy. I decided to wear a turtle neck and a V-neck sweater. The two different colors went well my pants. I figured if I got too warm I could take off the outer sweater.

Little did I know that the motor for the heat in our office would break down. It was cold. The hospital maintenance men came by with some space heaters, but space heaters only work in small spaces. As long as I was near one of the heaters it wasn’t too bad. Thanks to my two sweaters I was comfortable.

Reflecting back on my morning struggle, I realized that God was speaking to me. He had me do something I never do. Why? He knew the heat would go out. I realized how much God does those little things, like whisper a thought in my mind. Sometimes I listen, sometimes I don’t. I find when I do listen, I’m blessed in little ways. I’m learning not ignore that little voice that interrupts my thoughts during my day. It’s a growth process. I’m much better at this now than I was a year ago.

So Lord thank You for keeping me warm today. Thank You for speaking to me in little ways.

© Nadine Z. 2006

Artwork by Simon Bull

Christmas Morning

When the kids were little Christmas morning started very early. They would come into our room and wake us up. Our son would climb on his dad’s chest and pry open his eyes with his little fingers saying, “Are you awake, daddy?” As they got older they learned to make coffee and then would wake us up. That was sweet. Now as young adults, we are usually up first, knocking on their door to wake them up.

I looked back on many fond memories of Christmas past. This year I realized it might be the last one we have in our traditional way. Next year my son will be living in Los Angeles and may not be able to come home for Christmas. Things change and isn’t that what life is all about. We may not always like it, but try to enjoy the present.

The love we share and joy we have in giving gifts to one another will never change. I was quite thrilled with the generosity of my children. They love giving presents as much as they love receiving them. I gave Tom a replica of the William Wallace sword, commonly known as, The Freedom Sword. He writes the blog, Emancipation of the Freed as you all well know by now and I wanted to give him something that represented what he was passionate about. The other part of his gift was I agreed to him getting a tattoo. I have been resistant to this for a long time, but I truly wanted him to know how much he means to me.

He had given me some special gifts in the past, but today he moved me to tears with his thoughtfulness. He bought me tickets to see a professional ballet, Swan Lake. I love the ballet, but have never seen a professional ballet company before. He remembered that. The best part of this gift is that it requires spending some alone time with him. You know your husband loves you when he’s willing to spend hours doing something that will bring you pleasure.

It’s the little things that can bless someone’s heart. When Tom was diagnosed with cancer, he got one of those rubber bracelets that said, Hope. It was a reminder to have hope for cancer. It broke several months ago. It made me cry. I was feeling a little hopeless at the time and it was the final straw. I started to give up at that point. In my stocking he replaced that bracelet with a stainless steel one with letters that spell out Hope. He gave me my hope back. He’s a good man and I’m grateful to the Lord for him and my children.

So as my children get older and life changes, Christmas morning may not always be the same, but some things will be constant – our love for one another.

© Nadine Z. 2006

Merry Christmas

My favorite Christmas song of all time is, O Holy Night. From the time I was a little girl the words and music move me. So tonight on the eve of the Savior’s birth, I say Happy Birthday Jesus and Merry Christmas to all.

O holy night, the stars are brightly shining; It is the night of the dear Savior’s birth!

Long lay the world in sin and error pining,

Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.

A thrill of hope, the weary soul rejoices,

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

Fall on your knees, O hear the angel voices!

O night divine, O night when Christ was born!

O night, O holy night, O night divine!

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,

With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.

So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming,

ere came the wise men from Orient land.

The King of kings lay thus in lowly manger,

In all our trials born to be our Friend!

He knows our need—to our weakness is no stranger.

Behold your King; before Him lowly bend!

Behold your King; before Him lowly bend!

Truly He taught us to love one another;

His law is love and His Gospel is peace.

Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother

And in His Name all oppression shall cease.

Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,

Let all within us praise His holy Name!

Christ is the Lord! O praise His name forever!

His pow’r and glory evermore proclaim!

His pow’r and glory evermore proclaim!

Words written by Placide Cappeau, translated from French to English by John S. Dwight and music by Adolphe C. Adam @ 1847

An Elegant Invitation

Tom and I had an invitation to attend a Christmas party our youth were hosting. It was quite the elegant affair. Two of the young ladies planned, shopped and decorated for the event. They did a fantastic job. The tables were covered in cloth, had little chocolate kisses as accents, and a rose vase adorned each one. There were lights everywhere and they made room for a large dance floor. It probably took them a couple of days to make the place look so good. They set up a large table so that they could all sit together as a group to eat dinner. There was a chocolate fountain and fruit for dipping. If that wasn’t enough, they also had Christmas cookies and chocolates. It was stunning. I was very impressed with all the work that went into it.

Such an elegant setting called for formal attire. I never met a group of young people who enjoy dressing up as much as they do. The girls looked beautiful in their evening gowns and the guys looked handsome.

They were respectful of each other and behaved accordingly. I had a great time dancing with them. I must say they tolerated my old people dance skills with such finesse. They never once made me feel like the old lady in the room. I laughed, I danced and had a great time watching their interactions with each other.

I’ve said this once and I’ll say it again, when I grow up I want to be like them. You guys rock and I love you all!

© Nadine Z. 2006

Surprises

Who doesn’t like to be surprised? I for one can take it or leave. When I was child, I just couldn’t stand it. At Christmas time I would sneak down the stairs when everyone was asleep and very carefully open my presents and then wrap them back up. I couldn’t wait to see what I got. When Christmas morning came, I acted so surprised that no one was the wiser.

When I read a suspenseful novel, I’ll often jump ahead to see what will happen next. Shocking I know. I like hearing spoilers for television shows, but not movies. Movies don't take as long to resolve as television shows. Why would I want to ruin the surprise ending? The only answer I have is that I’m not a patient woman.

Some people hate to know what will happen. They like the suspense. My daughter hates spoilers. If she hadn’t seen a movie yet, she doesn’t want anyone telling her any part of it. She’ll walk out of the room if she thinks you will ruin any part of the story.

I do like some types of surprises, like parties. My parents threw me a surprise birthday party when I was nineteen and it was great. There were people there I didn’t expect to see. If I knew about it, it would have ruined the evening.

I haven’t opened up a Christmas present since I was a kid, but that's not to say I haven’t tried to find out what I received. This year it’s different. There is a present from Tom that’s in a bag. No protection whatsoever. I have no desire to peek (and it’s not because he reads this blog). I know that whatever my husband and children get me I will be very blessed and thrilled. They know how much I love receiving presents.

However, there is only one thing I desire for Christmas this year. It doesn’t come in a box and you can’t put a pretty bow on it. It is something that only God can give me. I want Tom healed. I want cancer to leave his body forever. I would give back every great gift I received in the past forty-five years in exchange for this one miracle. It is one surprise that I anxiously hope and wait for.

© Nadine Z. 2006

Power of Words

Power of words is not a new concept to most people. Sometimes we don’t realize how powerful they can be until our words cause damage to someone else. Recently I was faced with the power of my words bringing judgment on someone years ago. It didn’t totally damage our relationship, not because of my character but because of theirs. God is good and He was able to redeem those words I spoke. There is a clean slate now and I’m completely grateful. An apology goes a long way and forgiveness even further.

Everyone can benefit from a kind word spoken. Words in their simplest form can encourage beyond our belief. We never really know how much it can lift someone’s day when we tell them something uplifting. Am I good at this? Well, I believe I’m much better than I used to be. I have seen how much a kind word has power as well as unkind words. Let me share a story about the power of unkind words.

When I was younger, I used to get picked on. I decided very early on that I would stick up for myself with my words and my fists. I would be proactive. In other words, I was a bully. There was one girl I used to pick on quite often. Why? It’s simple, because I could. I was not proud of that person I used to be. Years later when I was a teenager, I became a Christian.

I was on the city bus and I noticed a girl staring at me. I sat in the back of the bus and right before she was about to get off, she looked at me. She asked, “Do you remember me?” I replied, “No, I’m sorry I don’t.” The next thing she said went through me like a knife, “You used to pick on me and beat me up when we were in grade school.” She then got off the bus. I just wanted to crawl under a rock. I was stunned. I was speechless. When my brain started to work again, I wanted to get off the bus and chase her down and tell her how very sorry I was. I wanted to tell her I’m not the same person. I wanted her to know that I’m sorry I caused her any pain. But all I could do was pray and ask God to forgive me.

I wasn’t totally evil as a kid. Here’s a story about the flip side. One day my girlfriend, Aminie was upset and feeling blue. I asked her what was going on. She wanted to be a lawyer when she got older and that day, she felt it would never happen (she was only fourteen years old at the time and I was fifteen). I took a piece of paper and wrote something simple along these lines, “Aminie will be a great lawyer one day because she is very smart.” I signed my name. It was probably twenty years later when she came to visit me for a weekend. She took that piece of paper out of her wallet. I was stunned. I had totally forgotten about that situation. She told me in law school, when things got tough, she would take out that piece of paper and it would encourage her to continue.

We may never know the power of our words to wound or to heal. How many grown ups do you meet that still carry wounds made when they were children? How many do you meet who are better people because of the encouragement of others? Lord, forgive me for those I wounded with my words. Help me to speak words of life to others from this day forward.

© Nadine Z. 2006

Dreamgirls

There is a movie coming out next week called Dreamgirls. In the original Broadway musical, Jennifer Holliday played Effie White. Her character is replaced in the group by a slimmer version of herself. The orinigal cast performed during the 1982 Tony award show. It is a little long, but worth it to hear Jennifer Holliday sing this number called, “And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going.” You can feel her emotions behind the words she sings. The woman has some set of pipes.



© Nadine Z. 2006

Church Christmas Party

Today church went well. It’s not because my husband’s the pastor, but I have to say that he did a great job with his sermon today. Instead of preaching what he had prepared, the Lord put upon his heart a message of repentance during worship. He preached from the heart a message that not only touched me, but touched many people. It was a now word.

As he was speaking the Lord, placed upon my heart someone I had to approach and ask forgiveness for something I said several years ago. In itself what I said was not the most horrible thing you can say to someone, but the damage it did was far reaching. This person and I have had a relationship for years, but it wasn’t what the Lord wanted for them or for me. I’m so grateful that they received my apology with such grace. It was a true blessing for the both of us I believe.

Knowing that today after church we were to have a church Christmas party some pastors might have foregone the “warm fuzzy” message of repentance, setting relationships right, and keeping short accounts with God. My husband is not most pastors. If he had, healing wouldn’t have taken place, not only for me but for the dozen or so people that came up to him afterward. How many more people were touched, but didn’t go up to him?

The church Christmas party was great. Everyone had a good time and by the time we left it was almost 3:00 o’clock. Our people are the best. Rick and Lynn you both did a great job today in the organization of the party. Then there were all those who helped not only set up but the important job of cleaning everything up and taking out the garbage, etc. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I love our people and our church.

Lord, thank you for the people you have brought to the church and bless each of them for they are great blessing to me and my family.

© Nadine Z. 2006

Wrapping Presents

I have a hard time sleeping when Tom is not home. I woke up early around 7:00 am and started my day. I was pleased with my accomplishments today. I didn’t save anyone nor did anything anyone would have found vital to the universe.

One of the many things I did do today was wrap all of my Christmas presents, including stocking stuffers. I wanted to make sure that I wrapped Tom’s presents while he wasn’t home, but once I started I had to finish.

It reminded how this tradition of me wrapping all the gifts Tom and I gave to the kids got started. When the children were really little, Tom and I didn’t have much money. I chose to stay home and so any money we had went towards presents for the kids. The kids were teenagers before we started buying presents for each other. It didn’t really matter because we madly in love and were grateful for the many blessings we had.

I loved wrapping the gifts. I enjoyed the decorating part especially trying to make each gift look unique with the use of bows and ribbons. Tom would help, but as time went on, I was doing it all alone. This never bothered me because I really did love it.

As I wrapped the gifts today, I remembered Christmas past when I did all my shopping at Toys R Us. After Christmas there was the joy of putting the toys together. I especially loved that part. Tom tried to help, but I would stay up into the wee hours until it was done. My favorite part was putting stickers on Tommy’s GI Joe toys and Lisa’s Barbie cars.

My family is so gracious and really make you feel good about yourself when they open up their presents. It doesn’t matter what they get, they are grateful and make a fuss. I love to give them gifts. It makes me very happy. I’m excited about the gift I bought for Tom this year for I put alot of thought in it. I hope he likes it.

If I am pleased over the little things I give my family, how much more is God pleased when He lavishes His gifts on us. Do I take it for granted or do I express gratitude for His all that He has given me? I pray that I never take it for granted, but the truth of the matter is that I sometimes do. I forget to give Him the credit for my talents and on occasion accepted the kudos that belonged to Him.

So Lord forgive me those times I didn’t show appreciation for the gifts You’ve given me. Forgive me for the times I’ve taken credit for those gifts. Lord thank You for all You’ve given me, especially these three gifts – Tom, Lisa and Tommy.

© Nadine Z. 2006

Artwork by Charlotte Ardizzone

Office Christmas Dinner

Tonight my office had Christmas dinner at Red Lobster. Spouses were invited, but unfortunately Tom couldn’t come with me. He was out of town teaching a class. To be honest, I didn’t want to be the only one there without her husband. Have I gone places without him? Of course I have. Have I had a good time and been fine? Of course I have. This was different. My job is a stressful place for me for various reasons. I have tried to go beyond the trials and forge ahead and treat those I work with the way God would have me.

As I was driving tonight, I just prayed that I could have the superpower to transport someone through time and space. I just didn’t want to face this evening alone. Now I could have stayed in that place, but I choose not to. Instead, I started to pray that God would help me to see them through His eyes and that I would be a delight at the table.

So they laughed and I laughed. Before I knew it the evening came to an end and it was time to go home. I missed Tom tonight because I just wanted him to be near me so that I could touch his hand or look in his wonderful, caring eyes. Instead of the dread I felt while getting ready, I was able to have a pleasant.

I kept thinking about Tom and the very uncomfortable situation he faced today. The electricity had been out since last evening. His room was cold and he had trouble sleeping. He and the rest of the team had to teach in the cold with only daylight that shined through the windows. They had to end by 4:30 pm because it got too dark.

God taught me perceptive. I had to be by myself at a silly dinner and he couldn’t see in the dark. I could sleep in our comfortable, warm bed and he won’t have that same luxury. If the lack of electricity was the only warfare he and the others faced then it would have been fine, but it’s one of many.

So Lord, I pray that the electricity comes back on and that the warfare would end. Bring him and the rest of the team home safely tomorrow. Bless the students during these distractions and help them to get all they need from the class.

© Nadine Z. 2006

Obstacles

I was thinking today about obstacles. Merriam-Webster defines obstacles as something that impedes progress or achievement. Everyone faces obstacles. What we do when faced with obstacles help define who we are. Do we march ahead or allow them to stop us from reaching our goals? If we are on a road that we are truly passionate about, then nothing stands in our way. Obstacles become simple hurdles we jump over on our way to winning the race. Our passions helps us forge ahead.

What if we are on a road that we’re not that enthusiastic about? The smallest obstacles pop up and we become discouraged and want to give up. Obstacles impede us moving ahead when we let them. There are various reasons this can happen. Sometimes we are just in a bad place in our life. When we look through dark glasses, nothing can be bright. The smallest of stones seem like boulders on our path to our goal.

What type of outlook we have on life may determine how we handle these obstacles. Some people in their hurt retreat further into themselves. They choose not to let anyone in, not even God. I’ve seen others when they hurt, lash out and hurt others they blame for their present state of mind. Neither of these reactions produce much fruit nor do anything to remove the obstacles. Then there are those who choose to dig deeper in their relationship with God, reach out to others and do whatever is necessary to jump over the obstacle in their path. They don’t allow that certain something to impede their progress or achievement.

© Nadine Z. 2006


Side note: If you want to check out a new online novel click here. I love this idea of an online novel. It’s extremely well written and I can’t wait to read the completed story. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Healing Touch

I find that healing touch is multi-faceted. In this day and age with all our modern ways of communicating with each other, how could healing touch work? In order to pray for someone, you would normally lay hands on them and pray for healing of mind, body, or spirit. This method was very effective as Jesus demonstrated for us in:

Luke 4:40 - When the sun was setting, the people brought to Jesus all who had various kinds of sickness, and laying his hands on each one, he healed them.

There is the long distance method modeled in Matthew 8:8-13.

Matthew 8:13 - Then Jesus said to the centurion, “Go! It will be done just as you believed it would.” And his servant was healed that very hour.

The scriptures are filled with examples of how Jesus healed and set people free. Now I’m not claiming I’ve had great experiences of seeing healing to this extent, but I’ve seen some measure of healings.

I wanted to share a couple of little stories about healing touch. The first one is about my husband. For whatever reason, whenever he gets stuck on writing his sermon, he asked me to lay my hands on top of his head. I do and pray and God speaks to him. His message then flows. Today he was working on his sermon. He had e-mailed me at work about having pizza for dinner and mentioned in passing he was having trouble with his sermon. I wrote back and asked if he wanted me to do a virtual laying of hands on his head. I think he was half kidding when he said yeah. A couple of minutes later, I had opportunity to pray. I closed my eyes and could see myself touching his head, praying for breakthrough. I prayed for only a few minutes and could feel the power of God. I e-mailed hum back and asked – “Did you feel that?” Apparently between the two e-mails he just started writing. Something happened when I prayed. I guess that would demonstrate the long distance method (or the computer method).

One of our worship leaders, Lynda, occasionally would experience difficulty with her throat. So after the very first time I prayed for her by laying my hands on her throat, God healed her. Now each time this happens, she seeks me out and grabs my hand and places it on her throat. Now from a distance, I’m sure this doesn’t look right, but God honors it and she’s healed and is able to lead worship.

One day, I would love to see the blind being able to see and the dead raised, but for now I am grateful that God would use me in small ways to bring His healing touch.

© Nadine Z. 2006

New Levels

Why is that when you are about to be promoted you have to have a test? In school, to reach the next grade level there are a series of finals you must take in order to be promoted. At work your boss puts you through tests before he hands out a promotion. Some tests aren’t as obvious as the ones you take in school.

Do you come to work on time, late or early? When asked to do something, like work late – what is your response? Are you agreeable? Do you take criticism or correction well? Are you trustworthy? Do you waste time? Are you doing your job to the best of your abilities or are you holding back? These are good questions to ask. Why? Your boss probably asks the same questions.

Just like at work or school we are judged and tested in our spiritual life. We don’t get promoted until we pass. When we pass God’s tests then we move on. If we fail, God gives us another chance, because he’s gracious and merciful to us.

So what happens when that promotion comes? New levels, new devils. I’m not sure who said that originally, but it’s much more than a catchy phrase. Attack, harassment, and the heat from the enemy fires up. How do we combat these attacks? How do we push through? When it’s a small promotion then it’s a small backlash. When it’s a large promotion then watch out for it hits the fan.

I find that you don’t have to fight alone. When the fire gets so hot, don’t go it alone. Don’t try to fight the harassment alone. No matter how strong you are, there comes a time you need to reach out and ask for help. There is power in prayer. There is more power when two or three are gathered in His name.

Thank you Lord that you don’t call us to go this alone. Thank you Father that you place others in our lives that when new levels come we have flesh and blood people to help us through the attacks.

© Nadine Z. 2006

Writing What You Know

I find that the most touching articles I can write about are the ones where I have personal experience. The ones that touch others are the ones that come from my heart. When I can articulately express emotions or experiences the reader is moved because I’ve touch something inside of them. Whether I’m making them laugh or making them cry, emotions come forth when I put a little of myself in my writing. I’m not talking about the creative process of God given inspiration and imagination to tell a story. I not saying you can’t write about murder if you haven’t killed anyone. Styles of writing are too vast to cover in one little article. I’m focusing on one aspect – writing what you know.

In doing this blog, I’ve noticed that the times I’m vulnerable and speak from the heart that’s when others are touched. Sometimes it brings laughter and that’s the place I like to write from the most.

I’ve been told on many an occasion that I’m a funny person. There is a deeper side to people who are funny. Being funny and making someone laugh evokes as deep of emotions as making them cry. When you truly laugh deeply it releases the sadness, or pain like nothing else can. You can laugh until it hurts in a good way. Because you are funny or an easy going person, people get the wrong impression that you can’t take life seriously. I can laugh deeply and also cry deeply. That scares me sometimes. I can’t live in that sad place for very long because it makes life so much harder. I much rather approach life from the lighter side.

When you write what you know you can touch someone else who may go through similar circumstances, but maybe they have trouble expressing it in words. It’s very comforting to read someone’s experience and you say to yourself, “Hey that’s exactly how I feel. I’m not alone. Someone understands me.”

I’ve found lately that I’m getting in touch with my serious side. It just the place God seems to have me in. I know I enjoy writing what I know and my best articles are the ones I write from my heart. Whether it’s the funny side or the serious side of me, writing what I know comes easier.

© Nadine Z. 2006

Thr3e

You all know that I’m a big fan of Ted Dekker and you can read about it here. I love how he takes risks and writes outside the Christian box. He writes thrillers and fantasy that really keep your interest.

One of his books, Thr3e is being made into a movie. Check out the trailer below.



It looks scary, but it’s not a scary story. It has a limited release (only 500 theaters) nationwide. My hope is that one day Christian authors will have the same respect as Harry Potter does when a book is made into a movie. I would love to see it released in all theaters. Usually Christian movies are really cheesy and the quality is poor. You don’t get to see it until comes to DVD. I’m hoping this won’t happen to Ted’s book. I enjoyed this story because it was really unusual and it had a few twists and turns. It was well written. The trailer looks hopeful that the quality is better most Christian movies.

So here’s to you, Ted. Here’s hoping that this movie does well and changes the tide on Christian movies.

© Nadine Z. 2006

27 Years Ago Today

Today is a special day for Tom and me because twenty-seven years ago he got on one knee and slipped on a very special ring on my hand left hand, fourth finger. I was only eighteen at the time.

Tom and I started dating when I was sixteen years old. A couple of weeks later he told me he loved me. A short time after that he asked me to marry him. He was a very intense eighteen year old that knew what he wanted and what he wanted was me. I would tell him I loved him, but I was too young to get married. He finally wore me down and I said yes to him giving me a ring for my 18th birthday.

The next step was the hardest. He wanted to give me the ring for my birthday, which is in September, but he had to get pass my dad. Yes, good old dad, who wasn’t thrilled I had a boyfriend. So one Sunday, my brother egged Tom on that today was as good a day as any to ask for my hand in marriage. I had just graduated high school a month earlier. So Tom did and it didn’t go well. You would have thought he said I was expecting a child and we had to get married for the reaction my dad gave. He yelled for my mom and his exact words were, “I told you it would lead to this.”

Thank God for moms with cool heads. She talked my dad down from the ledge and convinced him that this was a good thing and that Tom was a good man. So we compromised and got engaged on December 8th. My dad grew to love him, but it took years.

When our daughter was born, my dad suddenly became a very smart and righteous man. Funny how certain situations look differently when viewed from the other side.

I’m so grateful that Tom was persistent and chased me until I said yes. I’ve never regretted saying yes and I’m a blessed woman for having him in my life for he completes me.

I love you honey, and I’ll always remain,

Forever yours,
Nadine

© Nadine Z. 2006

Laughter is Good Medicine

As different as we all are, we have many things in common. I believe that no matter who you are, you probably like to laugh. Laughing releases some type of endorphins to the rest of body and it makes us feel better. The problem is that when we are blue and feeling down, that last thing we want to do is engage in activities that would make us laugh. We as humans sometimes just want to wallow in our self-pity . . . okay, maybe it’s just me.

Sometimes, I just need to enjoy a stupid comedy just so that I can laugh. I find that it depends on what mood I’m in beforehand as to what type of movie or television show would do the trick.

For instance about 11 years ago when we were living in West Virginia, we had a home group that consisted of people in their twenties. I was in my thirties. My husband thought that a hike would be a great group activity that would be fun. How he can use hike and fun in the same sentence is beyond me. I on the other hand am not a hiking-kind-of-girl. I grew up in Brooklyn and to me roughing it is no room service. For whatever reason Tom really wanted me to go on this hike and convinced me I should go. He assured me I would have a good time.

This was to be a ten mile hike. What I didn’t know was that the first five miles was downhill. Did you know that if you go downhill you have to eventually go back uphill to get back to your car? To make matters worse we get to this part of the trail where the ledge we were walking on had a missing section to it. By missing I mean there is nothing to step on and it’s a long way down. The only way to get to the lake (our destination) was to hold on to a branch and jump across the ledge. That’s right I said jump. I was not going to do this. I was fine with waiting until everyone was done dipping in the lake. Tom convinced me again that I should jump and he helped me across. Can you sense at this point that Tom is not on my favorite people list.

I don’t know if you remember the song by Paul Simon, Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover, but on the hike back up the hill I changed the title and the lyrics to – Fifty Ways to Kill Your Lover. When I finally did make it back to the car I was so exhausted and everything ached in my body. My wonderful husband – who to my credit is still breathing – invited everyone back to our small apartment to watch a movie and eat pizza. Did I mention that one of the gals had her two huge dogs with her on the hike? Yep and the dogs came to dinner too.

I have a point to this story and it is about the movie we watched. It was a stupid comedy – Ace Venture, Pet Detective. The mood I was in beforehand was not a good one. I was beyond tired and ached all over. The only thing I wanted to do was soak in a hot bath, but here I was watching this movie. To my surprise I never laughed so much in my life. I’ve watched bits of the movie years later and it wasn’t funny to me at all, but at the time it was the right medicine. I laughed and felt better and Tom got to live another day. I love you babe, you gave me a good story to tell.

© Nadine Z. 2006

Gone Fishing

In all the years I’ve been a Christian I’ve heard countless sermons. I’ve attended many conferences and listened to numerous teachings on tape. The subject matter varied from dreams to healing to spiritual growth. The one subject Christians seemed to stay away from is sex. It’s not a subject that Christians find comfortable to speak of, unless of course they are telling you not have it.

Outside the boundaries of marriage it is taboo and should be. Pre-martial, extra-martial sex is not healthy for you. Why? Millions of Americans are infected with sexually transmitted diseases (STD) each year. God can forgive sin, but we have to live with the consequences of our sins.

Beside the risk of diseases there is the whole moral and spiritual aspect to why we shouldn’t break these boundaries. Mark 10:7-9 states:

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.

One flesh in the spiritual sense as highly binding as the physical aspect of joining another person. Present relationships suffer when people have to deal with past sexual partners. God can heal past sexual relationships and give us “new virginities” but what if we try to skip that part all together and stick to one sexual partner. Wait until marriage and keep sex within the boundaries of marriage. Why? Because sex is a beautiful thing and a pleasurable aspect of the marriage relationship.

I believe because of the all the talk against pre-martial and extra-martial sex that martial sex gets lost in the shuffle. How often have I heard a woman tell me she doesn’t enjoy this aspect of marriage or there is some type of dysfunction in this area? They may have engaged in pre-martial sex and now can’t enjoy the legal kind. Even worst, they may have been abused sexually.

Now why did I entitle this posting, Gone Fishing? I have a theory. In this country to hunt or fish you need a special license. You have to pay for this license so that you can enjoy the thrill of catching a fish or shoot a deer. I don’t do either of these things, so that type of license would be wasted on me. I do have a marriage license. I love using it. There is nothing wrong with exercising your legal rights and it’s not just for creating a life.

Inside the boundaries of marriage between a husband and wife, here on earth, where we are flesh and bone, sex is an important aspect of marriage. There are other aspects equally important – trust, good communication, honesty, etc. Talk to anyone who is not using their license and they will tell you how important it is to them. How much they miss it. If they don’t, then they weren’t using it correctly in the first place. So put up a sign on your door – Gone Fishing – and catch a good one.

© Nadine Z. 2006

Functionally Depressed – Part II

Reflecting on my post yesterday, I remembered a friend who was functionally depressed. It’s unfortunate that I didn’t realize it until it was too late. I worked with this person and she started coming to our church. She was excited to learn more about God. She was always a happy go lucky person who loved to joke around and loved her family. Her only child was moving back to this area and she was so excited because her grandchildren were going to be nearby. The last time I saw her, she paid for an upcoming conference at our church and seemed excited about it. It was the first time she would attend a church conference.

The very next day I found out that she ended her life. She didn’t leave a note and I was lost as to why this happened. I beat myself up because I didn’t see it coming. This was five years ago and at the time I wasn’t very prophetic. I’ve learned more about the prophetic since then, but would I be able recognize the signs now? There weren’t any obvious signs because she was functionally depressed. I don’t know that I would be so in tuned to people around me to see the type of pain they chose to hide regardless of my growth in the prophetic. Lord, let this be an area of growth in me. Give me eyes to see.

It was during the conference she was excited about that I was given a word that encouraged me. It gave me relief from the agony I was going through replaying the day before over and over in my mind. The person, who gave me the word, had no idea what my situation was. A well placed word goes a long way.

The following poem came to me as I reflected today on Karen. I don’t know what she went through that would cause her to give up on life, but my prayer is that the Lord would help me to see if there are other people like Karen in my life now.

Where do I go?
Who do I run to?
When the pain in my heart runs too deep,
I just don't dare take a peek.

Who can hear the cry of my heart?
Who can heal the emptiness inside?
When the loneliness over takes me and
My hope starts to run out of time.

So Lord are you there?
Can You hear my desperation?
Not only can I heal you
I died so I can free you
Come to Me and take comfort,
For I will not disappoint you

© Nadine Z. 2006

Artwork by Jen Buse

Functionally Depressed

I know I usually write very light pieces, but the subject of depression has caught my attention. Each year an estimated nineteen million adults suffer from depression. The following are classic signs of depression: constant sadness, lack of motivation, irritability, trouble concentrating, feelings of isolation (not as involved with family and friends), loss of interest in favorite activities, hopelessness, feeling worthless or guilty for no reason, fatigue, thoughts of death or suicide, low energy, trouble sleeping, and significant weight change. There are times that we all may feel a little depressed. We can feel a little blue or not quite like ourselves. Most of the time these feeling pass, circumstances change, and we move on. Unfortunately that is not the case for everyone.

But what about those people who have some of the above symptoms, but they hide it from others. Functionally depressed people get up everyday, go to work, make dinner, do laundry, go to church, and visit with friends. When they are alone with their thoughts, things change. They try to fight the sadness, yet their energy level may be low or they may not sleep well. Who are these people? They are people you know and love, yet deep inside they lose a little piece of themselves every day. They go along pretending that all is well in their world. They feel if they pretend long enough, it might be true. They function because they have to, not because they want to. They feel they are alone even when they are surrounded by people.

How do we recognize if people we love suffer from functional depression? The signs are very subtle I believe. How are they when no one is looking? Is there a distant sadness in their eyes? Are they overly compensating their good moods? It can be almost impossible to see with our natural eyes who around us suffer from being functionally depressed, but when we use our spiritual eyes, we can see very clearly. Maybe it’s a good idea to take inventory of those close to us every once in while. Pray, ask God if they are in a good state of mind. If they aren’t, then you know what to do – pray, reach out, love and involve them in your lives. People get depressed for reasons too vast to mention, but everyone loves to be loved.

Father in Your mercy show us who these people are in our lives. Let them feel not only our love, but Yours. Heal their sadness and change their hearts. Let them know they are not alone.

© Nadine Z. 2006

photo by Yukirin

Red Circle With Diagonal Line

Tom and I got back from our weekend away. The much needed R & R was great. We enjoyed each other and had lots of fun. The way you know a man loves you is that he sits through a production of The Nutcracker Ballet because he knows you will enjoy it. Last night we got to see the show and it was really cute. It’s one of my favorite ballets to watch. I’m married to a really good man.

Before we came home we stopped in Ellensburg and ate breakfast at the Starlight Lounge. I know what you’re thinking – cheesy name – but the food is great and the atmosphere delightful. On the weekends they serve breakfast until two o’clock and they make the most delicious omelets. We shared a mushroom and smoked mozzarella omelet that’s served with stuffed hash browns that are to die for.

What does that have to do with a red circle with a diagonal line, nothing except the picture above was taken in our hotel room. It was the first time I’ve seen that warning – contact with sprinkler will cause flooding. I don’t know about you, but when I go to a hotel I usually hang up my clothes in the closet, not from a sprinkler head, but that’s just me. I found this extremely amusing.

This got me to thinking to reason behind the sign. Someone must have done that and caused a flood. Some rules and regulations are born out of someone or something getting hurt. What about our own rules and regulations that is unspoken and born out of own hurts. We may not realize we do this, but we do. Someone or something hurts us so we set up a rule so that it doesn’t happen again. We set up barricades around our hearts so that we are protected and safe. I understand this, it is something I do really well, but I don’t like it. I want to be free from the rules I make for myself that would cause harm to me and others. Because in the end if the barricade I set up shouldn’t be there, then it’s hurting me. Now I’m not talking about boundaries, which everyone should have, but about thick walls that are meant to isolate you from others. I find that when you put up walls you’re cheating yourself out of some relationships that would be a blessing to your life.

So it’s time to take the red circle with the diagonal line inside off my heart. Lord, free me from the bondages I have placed around my heart. Heal the hurts from the past so that I may be able to move forward with freedom and truth.

© Nadine Z. 2006

Off on a Trip

I’m so excited to be heading out of town with my wonderful husband for some R & R. I’m especially blessed by some of the people that are making this possible. Thanks Dawn for preaching on Sunday. You’re the best! Thank you to some friends who prefer to remain anonymous (but you know who you are J-man & J-woman) for your generous contribution to our time away. Thanks Vilma for taking care of the decorating the church details.

I’m so blessed because of all the wonderful people God has placed in my life – my husband, my children, my friends and great church family. I’ll see you all when we return. God bless!

© Nadine Z. 2006

Hooray! I Did It!

There is nothing so satisfying as accomplishing a goal you set out to do. My thought was that for the month of November I would post a blog a day. I was feeling a bit stuck in the creative process. I thought that if I would post a blog a day, then maybe I would have an idea for a second book. God was good, because He gave it to me before the month was out.

It was challenging to come up with postings. I even started a post that I entitled, Desperately Seeking Interesting Thoughts. It started like this:

I so wanted to write about something interesting. I stared at the blank piece of virtual paper willing it to inspire me to greatness. Okay I would have settled for pretty good. So I stared for about ten minutes until I couldn’t stare any longer. I had to try to put words on the page – any words. Words that don’t make sense, it didn’t matter so long as my fingers were moving. This was an exercise that made me feel better but didn’t change anything. I still didn’t have anything to say. I am desperately seeking interesting thoughts.

I just couldn’t post it though. It was too crazy, even for me, but I thought it was funny to share now.

I haven’t had much time to spend on the new story, but the time I do spend is exhilarating. I have been very encouraged by the progress I made in my postings. I was asked if I plan to continue posting daily and I would really like to try to. Tomorrow I head out for an electronic free weekend with Tom. So there will be no postings for the next few days, but I’ll be back maybe on Sunday, but definitely by Monday.

© Nadine Z. 2006